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Helen and Cliff <3, 21 y.o.
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You look up to your boyfriend as a god. Look at his behavior with others and judge his character solely off his life – relationship with you
So she had her cake and was fucking it too!! Sorry bro but she’s a fantastic fiddler! Playing you like the instrument she’s perfected!.. tough to sever I’m sure because you clearly care, but, she doesn’t! Also, go get a swab make sure your shiz is straight and move on with divorce! Tough spot dude, feel for ya!
Yeah and I'd be fucking weirded out by that if my SO did that lol
Because it’s the first time he’s done it since they were together? He wasn’t doing it alone in his room or out on the streets looking for blow at 3AM
Research (peer reviewed) finds that people with more than 10 partners tend to become dissatisfied in a long term relationship. In addition, women have a higher incidence of cancer.
“I need you to udnerstand that even though I know you really want to, I'm not comfortable with doing XYZ. If there's other ways we can satisfy your desires for something like that maybe we can think about it. But I don't ever want to be pegged or use fake cum during sex, and I would also like you to not suggest we do it again.”
Congrats on 86 days sober. Your sobriety is what is important here, keep it focused on that. I would shoot my SIL a text thanking her for the invite but let her know you can’t make it. If you feel inclined and comfortable, you can mention you are 90 days sober and you aren’t ready to be around parties with alcohol yet. Other than that, I really encourage you to skip out on this event. Alcoholism sucks, and the best place for you to be at is around people who will not be getting drunk. People who take their sobriety sober don’t hang out in bars for a reason. The same goes for parties that getting drunk is the main activity. Do you have any girlfriends that you can hang out with that night or a sponsor who is free to go do something with you? Maybe some last minute Christmas shopping or a movie night? It’s important for you to surround yourself with people who love, support, understand alcoholism, and want to see you succeed right now.
I've been on the receiving end of something similar. Please believe all that he said to you. He's the kind that likes attention and isn't looking for a relationship. Do yourself a favour and move on cause trust me it would only get worse.
You aren’t even out of your twenties and you’re already working separate beds into rotation. Yeesh
I think you are really sweet.
I think as a tall girl who has already expressed that she wants to feel small is pretty self aware. I think she will see it as a good gesture.
Your a good egg. ?
Wow.
You've been living in their home 4 years, you ere supposed to be saving up to buy a house, but you decided life was comfortable enough to have a child. You then spent 2 years not working. Now you've got a job your in laws are babysitting for free. Howver the in laws are terrible people, who don't look after your child properly.
If they treat you like children its because you've been acting like children. Sounds to me it's not just your husband who's been comfortable living off your in laws, you are too. Why you are complaining about a really cushy situation makes me wonder if the in laws are looking after the child for free so you Will move out of their home sooner, much sooner, rather than later.
Stop moaning about everything and everyone. Someone who lives off people and then thinks it's grown up to add a child isn't someone who has the right to moan about life not going her way. This is the life you chose. 100k is enough to get out their, this buying a house is a pipe dream. You were supposed to be saving up and working towards th his goal for the last 4 years. You've done nothing towards saving up for a house in the last 4 years at all.
Is this moan a hint you want your in la Ws to pay the deposit or more on a house of your choice, because it sounds like it.
Your in laws owe you nothing and have given you a shit tonne of financial aid.
If your GF said ever she wishes you were dead, because you wanted to talk with her while on vacation I’m not sure how you come back from that to I love you. Sounds like a toxic relationship at best, or truthfully a dead relationship right now. If it’s serious yall can try couples therapy. She needs to learn why those words are harmful and never get said again, and you need to learn some trust and to stop being so high maintenance and needy. You both have work to do, but couples counseling is the only path I see to this relationship having potential. Good luck!
The proof of the pudding will be if they now get together.
Wait for your test results and I’d see if she can get retested. If anything shows up positive I’d say you need to cut your losses. If you’re 100% sure you were both tested and clean at the start of the relationship, then something isn’t adding up
Yeah she didn't make moves on him when they were in a relationship with other people, she basically said “I don't like sharing my personal life online” which I never have, I never change my relationship status on social media because it's no one's business but mine.
If he feels he can't trust her based on that fact alone (even though she's been upfront about it) than he needs to either decide if she's worth getting over that insecurity or she isn't the one he should be dating
Then you should consider a free or low cost legal consultation with a lawyer. What you need clarity on is the general rules about bank account titling and ownership of funds, and what duty (if any) your aunt would have regarding funds meant for you.
Maybe it's touched on an overall feeling . Maybe it's that you are not ready for that type of commitment , maybe it's touched on a nerve that maybe you don't feel listened to . I'm on the spectrum and I font do public stuff .. I think maybe it's touched a wider compatibility issue as it's fundamentally who you are and the proposal didn't reflect your needs.
I got proposed to at home in sweat pants , our wedding was courthouse with 10 people. I absolutely would not be interested in the big public display . My husband and I were on the same page.
You can't change the proposal but ask to be involved in the planning process and what you both want see if there is common ground
I dont buy that for a second. That does not transition into what she said.
FinalSale, if most of those 18 BPD warning signs sound familiar, I suggest that — while you're looking for a psychologist who can give you a professional opinion — you take a look at the r/BPDlovedones sub. There you will find hundreds of members sharing their experiences of living with — or walking away from — their BPD partners.
In the right-hand column of that sub, you also will find a list of good books and links pointing to online resources. Moreover, Reddit's biggest BPD resource targeted to the abused partners is the r/BPDWiki.
He mentioned he was planning to buy it for himself after his first tax season. It sounds like he did NOT mention why it was so significant or important that he buy it himself.
She may have just assumed he didn't have the free cash right now which is why he was waiting, so she decided to surprise him with something he really wanted, earlier than expected, as an anniversary gift.
My partner did something similar for me years ago and surprised me with a nice pair of Bose headphones I had been eyeing up but never bought due to the price tag. It was very thoughtful of her.
Who hurt you
Well I'm telling you that it's not impossible to break up with him. This relationship is weird and he is demonstrating that he doesn't love you.
Thanks for taking the time to help me out. I agree, and when I looked around trying to find situations like this on Reddit to try and make sense of it, the term “emotional cheating” unfortunately seems to describe it best.
And you’re right, the focus should be on myself, and this situation has been playing on my mind more than I care to admit. To the point where I even find myself going over it at work and all that stupid stuff.
It’s tough because I genuinely care about her, with or without the feelings I may have. But I think having this conversation, while it may mean losing contact, is better for the long run.
It’s not a situation I’ve found myself in before, so I really appreciate the perspective.
No, his actions are a reflection on him.
His choice how he responds to the situation.
They only start working when the person is in their 40’s and established. My mom is 16 years younger than her husband (now 60 & 76 but 45 & 61 when they met)
90% of the time giant age gaps are toxic though
Girl. Are you nuts? Your husband raped your sister. Why are you mad at her? If she was blackout drunk, she couldn't consent – he took advantage of her. Go hug your sister and divorce his rapey ass
Dump the brother, keep the boyfriend.
I literally gasped aloud when I read what your brother said to your boyfriend. That is something he said to someone he knows is important to you and that you care about. Then he told you to break up with him because of his own pride. He has no respect for your boyfriend and none for you, the only thing that matters to him is himself. You don't have to care about your brothers feelings here. He doesn't care about yours.
You are just as bad for enabling your family. Please don't dismiss your role in all of this, if you truly care.
Speaking from personal experience, I had an ex that was also obsessed with the idea of taking my virginity (even though I wasn't one and he knew that). He was so delusional and obsessed by the fantasy that he didn't want me to talk about previous partners or sexual experiences because it would ruin the fantasy.
Men with fantasies like this are walking red flags. Especially if they're obsessed with it and can't stop talking about it. The fact that you're afraid to tell him your past is a red flag as well.
Dating is supposed to be a trial period where you decide if another person is the right fit for you; I think maybe he's failed his trial period if you're feeling hesitant to be honest with him about your sexual history.
So you drank, used drugs and hooked up regularly for four years…and now you are asking if you should lie about your past to your boyfriend and manipulate him?
You should think long and very hot about the type of person you want to be
He's making a cake for his Grandma's birthday and she throws away all the ingredients while he's in the bathroom.
But he's toxic?
Did you even read the post?
I bet that if he’s been chasing her for so long she’s just kind of accepted this as ‘normal’ when it isn’t. I hope she can get out of this mindset because you are 100% right that this guy is being a snake
Absobloodylutely!!!!
Yeah, your relationship sounds healthy. Married for 60 years style. Your roommate should not be trusted here. She's trying to sabotage your relationship for unknowable reasons. Perhaps she has never seen a happy relationship before.
not reading. date someone your age.