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So he lied to you for a year. Then tells his “other girlfriend” that he started seeing someone else (another lie) hmmmm, I don't trust him and i don't even know him. Make an exit plan, you deserve better.
Just one question for you, why is she still your girlfriend?
I'd be my EX if I were in your shoes, ZERO doubt about it.
what is it that this will prove? what do you already know to be true?
Well, if YOU are fine with never being told he loves you then its fine. But if YOU value words of affirmation and saying “i love you's” in a relationship then 100% this is a red flag. FOR YOU.
You are personally allowed to have things that are red flags for you. It doesn't have to be run by the tribunal for the general populations opinion.
I'm not sure I agree with that take either, respectfully of course. People come to grips with their sexuality at all different stages of life. The truth of her being attracted to OP or not is something that we can't know for sure either. It's possible she thought she was straight, and genuinely does love OP as a human being. How could you comfort someone through their lowest stages of grief if you didn't?
I'm also not sure assuming she fabricated everything as a cover story is helpful to OP in finding a solution to this situation. The truth is that we don't know. However, from what he wrote, it sounds like she does love him as a friend and as a human being. I think we should run with that.
Both your bf and his brother are creepy. An almost 30-year-old man has no business being with a barely-legal teen (not to mention you weren't legal when you started dating). They're both pervs. Run (from both of them), do some growing up, and don't look back. And please, learn from your mistakes.
I understand how you feel but I also think you should work on letting this go and move forward. This happened years ago as a teen and was so short lived he forgot about it. I don't think cutting him off from his friends is fair but perhaps a compromise can be made. Take him up his offer to fully cut contact with Elle, meaning no side messages. He doesn't have to respond to her in the group chat. He's being open with you and showing you the messages. Have him continue to do that.
He's making serious effort here to prove to you that nothing is occurring so that you feel secure. He's choosing to put you amd your relationship first because he loves you and values you. Letting this become a wedge in your relationship would be a mistake.
You can’t pay “half the rent”. You either pay market rent (fair) or you pay the mortgage. Market rent allows you to live! there or in any other similar place. It says you are living with your bf but that your not committed like a married couple yet. Paying half the mortgage with no equity is being taken advantage of.
i have a flight home on friday and i may just stay. im financially well but ive payed for rent already this month. i also feel as he never buys me anything. my ring is some cheap fuck from kay jewelers and he made me pay to get it sized… but the biggest red flag is that when we hit our 1 year he sent my best friend a video of him jerking himself off while i was visiting family. i forgiven way too much.
Absolutely not okay, OP. It sounds like he love-bombed you and is now showing that controlling, manipulative, gross side.
You don't have to cook shit for him. His graduation doesn't mean you owe him crap, and your feelings are valid. He doesn't get to shut you down just because he's too emotionally constipated to have an adult discussion- you matter, too, OP. You don't have to accept this behaviour, and it won't get better. As he's shown, he's getting worse, and his refusal to discuss things means he's not at all open to trying to fix this. You can't make him respect you, unfortunately.
Honestly, I'd try to work through it. 10 years is a long time. The fact that you say that she has been a good partner since then, and that your family is also supportive of forgiveness shows that she seems like a good person that bad a terrible mistake a long time ago. It sounds like you'd lose a lot by not trying.
It takes time for the wounds to scab over though.
Get an order of protection against the wife and mother if either ever darken your door.
Thanks!
What do you think you will gain? Emotional satisfaction by telling her off? You might get some short term satisfaction, all it will really do is prolong the process of moving on. Delete the text and forget about it
No I haven’t. I’m in an awkward place of not really having a primary physician. Is this something to ask a primary doctor or a different kind of doctor?
i hope you read these comments OP seriously. Do not marry that girl you will be in for a lifetime of misery. No pregnancy you might not get you ex back but that girl your with now did something shady don’t reward that behavior by staying with her. She thinks she’s got you flip it on her.
Gf is already dating bff.. no room for boyfriend I’m her romantic entanglements
Do you know what actual loneliness is? During COVID I had to spend a year in my house isolating, didn't see anyone, could only talk on the phone, didn't feel so much as a handshake for a year.
You chose to fuck another man for 5 months, don't blame feeling lonely. You made decisions over and over again to cheat on your partner, every time you went to his house or went on a date or talked on the phone, you made a conscious decision to betray your relationship.
Fucking own your shit, if you're lonely meet friends, get a hobby, read a book, develop a skill, join a club, go to church, volunteer, do anything except fucking other people.
Jesus if you can't even admit what you've done without trying to minimise and justify it what hope is there for you? Do you think your partner likes being away for work? Do you think that he doesn't get lonely? How would you feel if he was banging other women and tole you he only did it because he missed you?
Plug it into a PC, access the files, I believe it just has a .db extension.
You have to have a db viewer though, so it's not suuuuper accessible. Those are free live! though.
Gross
I don't notice myself getting overly annoyed with other people without a valid motive.
Other examples could be the way he pronounces something, how he uses a certain word in a context that is not directly aligned with it's meaning, etc. Small things, really. I think it's definitely a me thing, but I do love him and want to make our relationship better, so I want advice on how to reframe my thinking, etc. so I can get around this feeling.
Your needs are as important as his. You'll be much happier with someone who wants the same things as you do.
My thoughts exactly. I am doubting that the co workers had this private pow wow with her where they roasted him like that. She sounds like a real trouble maker to me.
Give him a chance?? There could be 200 reasons… the other women he was with may have not told him, he may be very in experienced and needs to be taught.. my current bf was almost the same to a t …. I was very patient and it took a lot of effort and reinforcement….. but he is learning and it is well worth it, he is worth it and now….. he’s a beast??? and I love being dominant and teaching him as well