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Can you give specifics?
If you date with indifference, you get indifference.
If he's worried about the carcinogens from the cleaners, you might not want to mention what the sponges are made from. Also, ???
Honestly not really I just sorta figured it’d be a nice little addition to the rose, at first I was going to give it to her for our 4 month, but we weren’t able to see each other, and it kinda just slipped my mind the last time we hung out, if I know there’s a chance we see each other before Christmas though I’ll definitely give it to her before then
sounds like you need to have a serious conversation with him and/or go to couples therapy. if he doesn't reciprocate then your relationship is a lost cause and you need to find someone who will actually communicate with you and someone who is willing to take you to see their parents.
Thank you I will check this out. I have mentioned before to her about seeing a counselor in the past when issues would pop up but she would typically brush it off.
I just cleaned out the bathrooms and found 18 cans between the two of them. The 18 cans made up of 7 different types of beers from 6 packs I can assume she had 42 beers over some period of time. Some may go back 1-2 months as I can't recall us getting them but since I had none of them she snuck at least 18 of them.
Not even going to read the entire thing, its pretty simple you cheat you lose.
Well it takes like 30 days minimum to start a new habit, I think you'd have to observe the changes in behavior for that long to be reasonably sure
Ok
Yeah that’s a deal breaker for me
If you’re truly not cheating could it be that she is or is thinking about it and pushing it into you. I ask cause this is a common occurrence.
If you have different ideas about zoning laws or capital gains, sure.
If you have different ideas about human rights, no.
Both solid options, thanks! Some of the other answers make some decent points but I've also realized over the years my wife often hesitates and talks her self out of all kinds of things she clearly wants to do. All the way from having a glass of wine or relaxing for 5 minutes to pursuing a career she is really in love with or taking up skiing again (just got her out his weekend). She comes up with all kinds of reasons she shouldn't or can't and once I talk her through her concerns and she executes she elated and much happier overall with her life. There may be some of that playing into it as well on top of the typical hesitation around something like this.
I would like to know the reason. Sounds off.
Lots to unpack here, thank you. When put in terms of “restricting diet” or “controlling how I look” it’s a bit of a red flag, and I know the advice I’d give my own son if he met a woman that fit that description.
She needs to take a test for STDs and STIs first dawg. And also…
What the fuck?
It’s just another troll isn’t it
Well, one thing at a time:
You’re probably asking the wrong question. We don’t have “rights” to feelings. We just have them.
Understanding them is essential though. So let’s unpack.
Thirst traps work when people are thirsty. Your husband has plenty of reason to be thirsty. Porn and its slightly more emotionally involved sister, The Thirst Trap, provide illusions of intimacy that help to keep loneliness at bay.
You must know that cheating was always going to have repercussions into his self-esteem and inner life.
But that doesn’t mean it’s his best strategy. It isn’t, and especially if his goal is to honestly face with you why your marriage has several layers of problems. It’s an inability to talk about those problems and address them that left you thirsty, and now the same thing is leaving him thirsty.
It’s not enough that you discuss. Those discussions have to build bridges of good will between both partners: real intimacy.
If that good will is all spent, the relationship is done. If not, you both need to discuss again, “What’s our end goal here, and how can we both best cope with the thirst?”
What are her plans if you decide not to move in with her? Is it like, she could afford to on-line with roommates, but if you two want to on-line together you’d need to make up the difference? I could see how that would be fair.
Get an order of protection against the wife and mother if either ever darken your door.
Get an order of protection against the wife and mother if either ever darken your door.
I'm definitely ready to restart one. I worked on myself a good amount the last few months as well.
I guess I'm just hopeful she wouldn't fall back into emotional dependency. I wanna ask her if she thinks she would still. In her own words she told me she feels much more stable now and she feels like she's grown as a person. So I want to try and see if the same issues arise again. Idk if she is willing to because she might be afraid to try.
I feel like I've definitely been at arm's length. I have been in her orbit for the last few weeks but before that we weren't talking. But yes we are talking all day everyday.
Don't say anything to him. Make the choice whether you are going to accept him back or leave him. If u are going to accept him back, why even bother nagging or complaining? You know he's cheating.
I think I included her bc originally but the post keeps getting automatically removed if I mention that for some reason. I've tried posting this like 10 times.
Wow this relates to my relationship right now that I just ended because of this. Thanks for this comment, I couldn’t have said it better
You don't stay married for your kids, ever. They deserve happy parents.
Apologies for seeming contrarian, but I think Sami's situation may be a bit different than what you are referring to? Sami has absolutely no interest in a hedonistic lifestyle involving multiple partners, group activities, etc. She has never been with anyone but Tom in the intimate sense and she's having a naked time even thinking about going out on a date with anyone else, let alone more intimate activities.
I believe there is also a long precedent through history of people having or ending up in marriages of convenience – during which, at some point, they agree that it would be best to stay legally married, but that they are each free to on-line separate social/romantic lives? The dilemma for Sami is that, without the open relationship on the table, she can either:
(a) kick Tom to the curb which will mean he doesn't have health insurance, medical care, and other support to continue the recovery from his injuries. In my view, he actually deserves this (as far as I'm concerned he can try to get help from one of his affair partners), but Sami feels she made a commitment in her vows to look after him and to at least make sure that he is in a better place when she leaves the marriage.
-or
(b) continue to devote herself fully to taking care of Tom, who himself has said he is not capable of being a faithful husband and with whom she no longer has a romantic/intimate connection, working herself into the ground with two jobs and no other outlets for companionship.
So, I just can't judge Sami for at least contemplating taking Tom up on his own suggestion that she see other people, and I don't think it reflects a lack of morals and standards that she would view this as a valid option while she is waiting out the year or so until Tom is well enough to manage on his own. After all, in the current situation the marriage between Sami and Tom is effectively over in every sense but the legal sense.
He sounds awful and completely selfish. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. In my experience people rarely change who they are fundamentally, and I truly think you deserve a whole lot better
You come off like you are either asexual or you weren’t attracted to him…
Mix that with the fact that you literally look down on his needs/wants
He did what’s best for you both.
Honestly yes most men want sex, weekly. From someone who has ENTHUSIASM for it. A small minority of men are asexual or not really into ti
Clearly you are not law enforcement, or a lawyer etc and thank god for that. You are wholly uneducated on what you are speaking on. There is NO LEGAL repercussions that can be done. The wife is a full adult who signed a contract signing away her rights to said photos and also acknowledging that she consented to said photos to be taken in the first place. Absolutely nothing anyone can do because this is not sexual assault nor harassment.
It’s a lesson that apparently a lot of people need to learn by looking at these comments: you don’t have to take hot photos, but when you do, you are consenting to said photos to be taken and when you sign the rights away to said pictures, they are not “your” pictures anymore and the photographer can do whatever they want with those photos.
Stop signing contracts without reading them and fully understanding them – even TOS!
I am not saying he didn't behave poorly. But there is no way all of that would justify cheating. There isn't even a scale.
Instead of breaking up or talking about the situation she went looking for attention. It's not about empathy, I can understand being alone in an unfamiliar place, but she chose to mess it up.
Easy no for me. I don't share.
I mean, what does she really expect….you two take turns with her? You are her Monday, Wednesday and alternate weekend boy and he/she gets the residue?
Sorry, sounds like she has no issue blurring the lines and making a huge leap of faith with a FWB to on-line with them.
And no, I don't want to have a cup of coffee looking at someone my partner just fucked the next door walking around with his hairy ass hanging out of boxers while he grabs a donut in their shared kitchen.
My guy discord relationships don't last, trust me you will be fine
It sucks when a breakup feels like of coming out of nowhere! The only thing to make of it is that she’s moving on and you should, too.
It’s super frustrating, and in time you might learn more details from acquaintances and social media, but you may never learn more.
Ultimately it doesn’t matter if she moved on because she met someone else or just realized this relationship is no longer working for her. It only matters that is over, and she’s been kind enough to tell you that, so mourn the loss and take time to heal and move on as well.
It sucks when a breakup feels like of coming out of nowhere! The only thing to make of it is that she’s moving on and you should, too.
It’s super frustrating, and in time you might learn more details from acquaintances and social media, but you may never learn more.
Ultimately it doesn’t matter if she moved on because she met someone else or just realized this relationship is no longer working for her. It only matters that is over, and she’s been kind enough to tell you that, so mourn the loss and take time to heal and move on as well.
I’m gonna be honest, none of these things indicate bisexuality or an attraction to men. It would be cool if he is, but so far you only have your friend’s words for it, kisses on the cheek which may entirely be platonic, and initiating conversations with men.
Clearly you are both in different mindsets so I'm confused as how your future will be.
He'll be fine when you're doing something sexual and yet he'll judge and demean you for it afterwards like a true religious hypocrite.
Is this something you want for this relationship?
No the meltdowns are quite frequent actually when we first started living together she would get angry yell smash everything in front of her I would try to calm her down until she says something i react and it blows up to divorce someone does the intermediary and we get back together so after the 3rd time i understood it was more pathological and stopped entertaining it
It always starts out like that every post i fucking swear
“Our relationship is perfect”
“He is supportive and sweet”
“He is a perfect gentleman”
Then proceeds to describe and absolute loser of a man that has behavior worse than a toddler. I swear people have such low standards for themselves.
This the dude that cheats on OP and tells her she didn't hold him accountable enough and he's just a man “it's in his nature”
OP you are just asking for a toxic relationship with this dude so what he does nice things for u. It's been a month this man disrespects you in your face by staring at other woman and tells you it's normal and you should do your job of telling him how disrespectful it is everytime he does it..and you think him opening a door for you.. outweighs that whole obvious “hey I'm a dick” flag?
No man that cares about u or values you as his partner will EVER!! BLATANTLY DISRESPECT you that way. You accept that bullshit now and all i can ask is:
Girl do u not have any self respect?
You talk about the porn as though you're ashamed of it, and hate that it's something you do, but also you don't want to stop. But when you say you're ashamed, she probably thinks that you want to stop. But you get your therapists to take your side and justify the porn. Porn is whatever, if that's what you want to do, then fine, but she doesn't like it, and she thinks you will stop for her. Since you won't, you guys should break up, because it's a fundamental incompatibility.
High IQ
Seriously? High intelligence would tell you that you better damn well turn off the power when doing electrical work and to check for cooked clothes already in the washer…
The father hasn’t been given custody, yet, and the grandmother has made it pretty clear that he is not an option… I think she should’ve been given to him once the mother passed, but she wasn’t.
I chuckled at that point too. but i mean tbf a straight guy watching lesbian porn isn’t him showing an interest in other men. aka he’s not gay for watching gay porn
Do not tell your sister now. It's not an urgent matter.
Take time to think it over before deciding if you should tell her or not and definitely don't tell her just before or during important exams.
Sorry just to clarify- you were together since you were 10?
Let me guess “God will provide”? I'll break your bubble but it's far from being that easy.
You don’t have to say “hey wyd” that’s dumb because it forces someone into feeling like they have to engage in a conversation. Literally say “hi”. Send them a meme and say “lol”. Literally just anything to let them know you’re thinking about them.
Yes you can buy legitimate test boosters but there is a clear misunderstanding here. A test booster only increases the free test in the body is nothing like TRT from a dr or hitting test shots for weight lifting. With that said though this behavior shouldn't be linked what so ever and he is either doing something else or just being an ass. In my case I run these things with SARM cycles and never have these types of issues.
You're welcome. Congrats on your baby! Enjoy your shower.
Do NOT let him stay. He'll never, ever leave if you do that. Also, I don't know what he plans on suing you for since nothing you said in the chat was a lie. Also, if you have any of what he's said in text, that's clear proof of blackmailing. My thought is, he figured someone so much younger than him would be easy to manipulate. Don't let him.
thank you. the pain is immense now, but i have time