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Honestly, Reading this mad me so sad for your wife op. Please just be single.
I would ghost him. I mean, what is there to say? It’s not like you guys are going to get back together, he might deny it, you won’t get closure from a cheater either way. Although not ghosting him might prevent him from showing up at your door demanding answers.
Thanks, the hardest part is knowing this is a problem of my own making. I just wish she would give me a second chance – is there anything else I can do beyond moving on? I feel like I’ve exhausted all options
It's fulfilling to feel accomplished though. For us (career oriented), being successful would complete us. And having a family is a bonus, something that would give us a purpose in life.
How bad do you smell, exactly?
It’s not your fault. He’s been seeing someone else for a while and was too gutless to tell you and break up first. You’re well rid.
In germany, anything you do from 14 years or older is legal if your parents are okay with what‘s happening and don‘t sue.
You should get individual counseling for yourself. It'll help you sort out your feelings.
Laziness and not trying are bad enough, but please don't include those in the same category as being hurtful, mean, ignorant, and disgusting. The former are behaviors we can slip into. The latter behaviors are unacceptable.
I think your concerns are valid.
If I could give any advice I would say that you seem like a very loving and supportive partner. I would continue to support him the best you can by being honest and stern with him but reminding him you will always be there for him. Remind him he WILL fall short and fail during his career journey but you gotta fail in order to learn how to be successful. Remind him you’ll be there for him when he falls, and also be there for him when he picks himself back up. Also encourage him to pick himself back up when he fails. Him failing does not define who he is, remind him of this but he has to put in effort and be persistent on always trying to learn from his mistakes. He will stumble, and he will fall but if he keeps dusting himself off he can accomplish anything. I believe in him and I also believe that you guys will ultimately work through this. Best of luck
Sounds like he'll abandon you at the altar if you insist on going through with it
Him: directly tells you a problem
You: disregards what he says and gets offended
Everyone: he’s a dick you deserve better
And we wonder why so many posts on this sub have clear communication issues. He communicated and you got mad at him for it…….
Do your ex a favor and don't reach out. You don't really have anything to offer at this point, but a text from you would tell her you're still thinking about her. It might just mess with her mind.
If you're aware of mistakes you made, apply those to a future relationship. Learn from your past, and become a better person.
I didn’t even notice the age gap. I’m a 36 year old dude for what it’s worth. Maybe my age and gender alone is enough for intagram to put me into an algorithmic category. I stopped pretending to understand any of this shit years ago honestly.
She is also still pretty young. Unfortunately she doesn't have perspective to appreciate everything else he brings to the table more. She seems the type to only learn in hindsight.
Maybe he's got a small dick…
I think you aren't fully understanding the extent of my neglect. She could have sent them to me. And I wouldn't have opened them for a month
This is very weird, especially if they haven’t talked in years. It seems obsessive in my opinion. I think it’s disrespectful and creepy towards his ex and you that he holds onto these things. I can understand MAYBE keeping them in a keepsake box somewhere at most. I’m not gonna assume malicious intent with this limited information, but there’s a complete lack of boundaries on his end that’s unfortunately affecting you. I definitely would NOT chalk this up to anxiety. I think anyone would be weirded out by this and you have every right to be skeptical.
It’s better than admitting he’s thinking about other women or porn right? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what he’s doing. Sometimes my mind will stray to things my husband and I have done in the past, but it’s still him I’m thinking about.
You literally posted it in your title “hook up” and that’s all it was. He doesn’t want the touchy freely stuff after the deed and post nut clarity because that’s what “couples” do. You knew this would be a hook up so now you have to play that role now there’s no “chase” for him.
He still wants to work it out but I’m like for what?
Power, manipulation, repetition, maybe not in that order.
You should give your SO a chance, Sounds like she is in a very hot place and you should take that into consideration. When you spoke to her about it you definitely may have rocked her world a bit when you told her her best friend may be someone other than what she thought they were. If she loves you then maybe in a bit of time you putting the seed in her mind that her friend is being a bully to you may help her see them in a different light or if you feel like “she doesn't have your back” then maybe it might be exit time , though It just seems like you need to let time do what it does best you have an entire life with her and that might be worth more.
Sometimes men have no control over getting hot, it's not his fault. And your friend sucks, doesn't matter if she only does this while drunk it's completely inappropriate.
You are protecting him to the detriment of yourself. It sounds like you have never been a priority in the relationship (or maybe just early on), so it may be hot to find the courage to stand up for yourself and what you deserve. Life is so short and you are still young. It will be nude to do now and sort through the uncomfortable situation, but the overall benefit of doing it will be so much more rewarding for you.
Toxic is the word of the day.
“here not even a single thing common in us but we still managed to drag it 1.5 years”
Ya did correct OP. While it sucks now, time makes it easier. Allow yourself to grieve because it was a long relationship.
Like you said, it wasn't a sustainable one that wouldn't have worked in the long run. It gets easier as you move on, and find your own things.
My therapist told me that the person you needed to be to survive, isn’t the same at the one you need to thrive.