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Honestly, I wouldn’t like your brother or his gf after what they did to the ex. Because you say they didn’t have an affair but they did. If not physical, definitely emotional and I don’t like cheaters. And maybe Nina really is a gold digger but why does your wife care about it so much?
Even if I wouldn’t like them I wouldn’t care about them. Why does she let her live! in her head rent free? Something is touching your wife about Nina, and your wife needs to find that to move on.
This is rather shallow in my opinion…
You're not too sensitive and you're not crazy. He is a shitty, selfish person.
I’m not idolizing her, im just admiring how nice her life is and english is my 2nd language so vocabulary is not exactly my strength :/ (and i’m also a girl, probably should have mentioned that)
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Yes he does…he was wrong
Hit em where it hurts ?
Yet he was still going out and managed to get it out of his system. AND he kept going out even after they had kids. So because she felt a way about it then (which he clearly at least partially disregarded) she should not be able to go out now? I don't think bars should be a deal breaker but it isn't my relationship or my boundary. However, if you left your wife home alone with small children to go out with friends and are now beefing about her going out a decade later with friends it is jerk behavior.
OP is in such denial. Amy definitely has feelings for OP and OP is just blind to them based on his own disinterest in her.
The very first thing I want to say is that none of this is your fault. You did not do anything to deserve this. All you did was try to build a life and have a family with him and communicate your emotional needs.
Any man who thinks it's not also his job to take care of his own children and emotionally support his wife doesn't deserve to have a family. Having a paycheck does not exempt one from taking responsibility for and participating in the home and family they create.
I think there a few possibilities or a combination of them that happened that can explain all this:
It's entirely possible that he's been cheating. There's actually statistics you can look up about when men are most likely to cheat, and pregnancy is near the top of the list. It's also pretty common for men to have another partner lined up before they leave a relationship.
Another possible reason he's left is because he didn't realize the sheer amount of responsibility he was signing up for. A lot of men want to be the head of the house, but don't want to actually take all the responsibility that role comes with. And then when their partners are rightly pointing out problems in the home and relationship or conveying unmet needs, they don't take it as constructive criticism, but a personal attack because they're insecure.
I'm sorry this has happened to you. I know it doesn't feel.lije right now, but I promise everything will be okay.
Just tell her the truth. The moment she asked you the question, you lost all feelings for her. Make her realize that the second she asked, you realized she was not invested in this relationship.
go to youtube and read all the open relationship stories. You will have your answer dr jackson. I suggest you act upon it.
It doesn't matter if you love her if she doesn't really love you, does it?
People think you’re trolling because you’re not actually offering any thought into the advice given and all your comments come across as intentionally ignorant and naive. ppl say to set boundaries, you respond by saying that’s too harsh, you don’t want her to resent you. Ppl say she needs therapy, you say there’s no way to do that ( which is a lie). Ppl say stop paying for her expenses, you say you can’t do that bc that’s too harsh and will hurt her. you keep commenting but you don’t ever mention what your gf DOES contribute to the relationship. you keep saying she doesn’t need therapy, but can’t see that she hasn’t been able to help herself and you haven’t been able to help herself in years. So why do you think you could motivate her now? And you keep getting into these little back and forths in the comments section for no reason which really tells me you’re trolling for entertainment.
If this is a real post, then you and her both need therapy. It is possible you are real bc I’ve met ppl like you and you really need to seek help. But if you are trolling (which I am pretty sure you are), well then thanks for the entertaining read lol.
I don’t think he’s cheating, I just know I didn’t deserve that
Girl you are not this man's mama. He's an immature sex pest. He needs to work on himself. You can NOT do all the emotional labor in the relationship. I get that it's flattering to be pursued so ardently but he is quite literally messing with your FUTURE! You are in school to get an education and presumably get a great job in your chosen field. Your grades were effected! If that continues you could lose valuable connections due to your poor or middling grades. Some graduates get in touch with their former professors for recommendations. Nobody recommends the student who has average grades.
So I think you should break it off with guy. And be as clear as possible that unless he shows consistent change for at least a 6 month minimum you won't take him back. If he's going to be persistent, then block him. You are not being cruel or hateful. You are a person that wants a partner not an immature person person that wants you to be his mommy.
Why would you stay with someone like that? Are you being forced?
I would approach it from a “I'm worried about you” angle. Smelling like urine could be a sign of a UTI, which can be very serious if he doesn't get it checked.
The people being nicer aren’t getting through
Me and my bf have an agreement he can always wake me up to sex if I’m sleeping – but again we communicated that early on in the relationship and both are into it. If not communicated between two consenting adults then yeah it’s for sure rape.
No one is PETITIONING for older people to be put through these things, what are you dense?
Not this one again
Three times a week until she gets off once is an addiction? LOL. What is up with some of these comments?
Her husband doesn’t care about her pleasure during sex. He climbs on and gets off. He won’t even LOOK at her. Why would she still want to have sex with a man who is so selfish in bed?? She gets literally nothing out of the experience.
Get a grip and stop projecting.
you have been told by multiple people who wrong you are – but you won't reflect. You come across as quite immature
Hey. You're still making it together.
It might be different now. But you still carry him with you. Goodbye isn't forever. It's till I see you again. So, you might feel like you're walking this path alone now. But, you're carrying him to the next part of the journey. You're gathering memories, collecting stories, learning new things so that eventually, when you meet him again, you get to tell him about all the adventures that happened along the way.
It isn't easy. But it doesn't always hurt so much. We all find our ways of coping, and I want you to know it's going to be okay.
I don't know if you're into tattoos or not. For me personally, I get memorials tattooed for the people and pets I loved once they move on to the next journey. It's my way of giving them a physical representation again. It keeps them close, so that they still walk with me, in a way.
You'll find a way to cope that speaks to you. Whatever way that may be. You're a good person, with a kind heart and it shows. He loved you, and death can't erase that. The words of others can't erase that.
May you heal, grow and find joy. May the memories you have together stay forever vibrant. May the ache grow dull and be replaced with love and warmth once again.
You don’t convince him, you just say no. And follow it up by not lending him any money for the down payment, not co-signing for it and not helping with the monthly payments if he somehow manages to go ahead.
And for Gods sake don’t share accounts with this man. Keep your money separate because there will be no way of keeping him under control if he gets access to your accounts.
Some people are thrifty and some people are spendthrifts. Money issues are in the top 3 causes of divorce so proceed with caution.
Your daughter isn't going to notice for at least four years. I know plenty of poor kids that were plenty happy. Probably the disservice to your daughter would be staying. If this is having such a strong effect on your mental health that has to be bleeding on your daughter some. Children are amazingly perceptive about things like mood. If you can cover your and your daughter's needs, go ahead and move.
As a gamer, it's best to find another gaming partner or someone more understanding.
You describe it so well. My ex always had to know better than me, better than anyone & everyone. They also had to bring me down or point out what could go wrong anytime it looked like I was proud of myself, or having fun without them, or looking forward to anything in the future.
These people are happiness thieves. They're a bottomless pit of self-absorbed misery. “Realistic” my ass. “Joyless” is more accurate.
Sounds like a great guy, and you should pressure him to marry you.
Or dump the loser.