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Only you can decide if this is a bill you want the relationship to die on. Do I think it is disrespectful? Yes. Would I be happy if I were you? No. You need to find your line in the sand and see if this crosses it.
Closure is a myth. He is showing you who he is.
I am sorry, and it hurts to be invested. Keep in mind it was only 3 dates, there will be plenty of dates in your future. You aren't going to get what you want from this person (and knowing how he is behaving, do you even want that from him? )
Just be completely honest with yourself. If your marriage is good and you love your husband he needs to know.
Telling somebody you don't support them finding love or having children is not loving. He is not loving and doesn't want what's best for him. He basically wants his friend to be alone forever or force himself into a relationship with somebody he wouldn't love. That's not what's best.
I think you're missing the bigger picture here ->he dropped you. May sound harsh, but sometimes it happens. And here's the thing ->stupid thing to argue over. He put up the barrier, you didn't.
There are plenty of fish in the sea. If you get a difficult one on your line, just let it go. If he wants to contact you, he knows where you're at. But you've already made the attempt, enough time has passed that you should view this situation as stick a fork in it, cos it's done.
Sometimes the best way to prove to a fool he's wrong
is to let him shoot his mouth off.
Live! and Learn.
I get that completely, and it feels horrible to say to another person. If we were both asexual, my ex and I would have the best relationship.
Then again, having moved on it feels amazing to be with someone who excites me to be with and to look at – obviously it’s not everything, but it does matter, I still feel excited seeing him undress for the night or whatever, along with emotional/psychological connection.
Going off your comment I saw, bluntly tell him to stop showing you these shows if he doesn’t want to hear you opinion on it in the first place. That simple.
But honestly it seems you have bigger problem then just that with this content. If you feel that uncomfortable and wish he would stop watching anime entirely and he’s not willing to do that then you both might not be compatible. Find someone who cares about the same values in their media as you do.
Where do these guys come from? This is the comment I wanted to see.
You'll be happier without your toddler gf. If she blocked you that's a good reason to move on.
Focus on your mom and yourself…
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A person can’t apologize for Covid. Even with vaccinations, chronically ill people can die from it as you know but apparently he doesn’t. And you have to quarantine and miss work until you know you don’t have it. What he did was selfish and he proved he can’t be trusted. He is not the guy someone in your line of work should date. He will reallize their are consequences to his actions.
Np and yeah that is fine, you can let her know that you dont think any less but you may be feeling insecure and that you may need time to process it and that is fine and valid too
Nothing, do nothing with her, say you are happy with the way things are now.
You're not crazy. He needs help and you need to consider your options. He's likely addicted to cocaine and probably ashamed of it. If he won't get help, checked into a clinic or something, you should very seriously consider getting yourself out of there. Addiction turns the people you love into unrecognizable animals that will hurt those trying to care for them. The call of their addiction will drown out any concern he has for you.
Info: do you have a good paying job due to your degree? Cause from my understanding… you’re both working in the same company for a job that doesn’t require a degree. I’m assuming both your salary are approximately the same?
So… it seems bizarre that you’re hassling him for not going into a huge debt to get a degree he possibly may not even use.
“I have never once…in my life, woke up and gone “These mf'ers flushing the toilet are keeping me awake, ugh!!! So inconsiderate! “
Perfection!!!
If you like your beard and your girlfriend doesn't offer her a choice:
Date you and your beard since you like it (trimmed if you like it that way or not if you don't and don't let the haters change your mind). Don't date you and then the beard isn't an issue.
2 simple and direct choices and it's all on her. If she insists you shave it ask her “If I shave my beard to please your choice on my appearance will you shave your head to please choice of appearance? Or even better get a tattoo on your forehead saying 'OPs property' to show everyone you belong to me? It's not quite the same but you need to prove you are willing to change drastically for me to change myself.”
Yea honestly he may just not know what’s the appropriate way of handling the situation also since you two aren’t dating, but I mean he basically reacted the way a not so close friend or acquaintance would. I would focus on giving yourself the love and healing you need to get through this tough time. If he comes around, great. If not, oh well
Not to be crass but isn’t that his fault?
That's also a great way to do it! And will actually improve your skills, too.
we did go out on dates quite frequently in the first few months after she moved here but for the past few months she seems very reluctant to going out for anything. How do I tell her to go out with me without seeming like I'm forcing her to do so?
That was my immediate thought. There's no way to politely decline that question without it being super awkward. I know that's probably the intent of some but it can come off as aggressive. A far better approach would have been a simple 'hey, would you like to grab a coffee sometime?'.
I'd chalk it up as experience and move on.
He was living at his parents house or stay at a friend’s house. Do I need to be more understanding about him ?
100% knew this was gonna be a 4 hour “nice guy” dissertation just from the title.
Thankfully rocks are peaceful to me and not an excuse to give someone a black eye haha. And yea logically I know all of this, there’s just a little insecure digitalchili in my mind that doesn’t quite believe it and want’s to protect me from feeling content, and then getting smacked in the face with disappointment and terror :’) shoutout to my childhood for that one!
I can't fathom the idea of being 31 and waiting to get married to have sex. I couldn't fathom it if I were 20, but at 31 it just sounds like a proper, healthy development hasn't taken place. You are basically roommates and you want to wait until you sign all the papers to make if very difficult and expensive for you to break up to find out whether you are sexually compatible, one of the most important criteria in a happy marriage?
“Respectful” and “willing to wait” are also in the playbook for prying open a reluctant girl's pants. He's showing you now that that's what he was doing. If he were genuinely “respectful” and “willing to wait,” he wouldn't be telling you that he's waited long enough, and he wouldn't be sexually assaulting you.
Your bf is controlling. One of the warning signs of a future abusive relationship is cutting you off from friends. You should take this very seriously, I'm not making it up. I would not encourage you to try to “fix” this relationship, but instead break up, tell him why, do not reconsider even if he promises the world, and get some family support. Good luck. I hope you don't get hurt.
Why are you torturing yourself? She may be malicious and wretched but only you keep you a thrall to her emotional needs.
You intentionally are not blocking her. You are making excuses for her and yourself. Just. Stop.
Block right now, this very moment. No closure necessary. No need for passive aggressive goodbyes. Tell everyone you know to not help her to access you or they too are blocked.
Get some help from a professional as to why you seem to believe your only purpose in life is making terrible people more comfortable.
Only in your heart can you find the answers, not here.
Maybe chill and stay friends for a while.
But love will always find a way, if that is what is happening here.
You are both adults.
Some people are blatantly telling lies to you, you must remember this.
When he stops doing what you like, and tries to move to PIV, that’s when you stop him.
“I want you to keep doing X before we move to penetration. I want you to keep doing it till I cum”
Simple as that. If he refuses, sex is over for the day. If this goes on for more than 3 sessions, break up.
It’s not the ADHD, but even if it was, you don’t have to stay with someone who won’t help you get off too.
Honestly idk. I’m a woman and think OP is in the right and I’m seeing comments from men who think he was wrong for not greeting the guest.
Welp, this is a first and I am going to have to revise my “always” and “every time” when it comes to this sub now.
No one has stuck up for the woman in this situation, amazing.
Normally here are 50 angry women/white knights defending the OP's partner behavior no matter how bad with some ridiculous and outlandish context not given but made up story or anecdotal that makes OP the bad guy.
Is there some big protest going on right now that is keeping those people occupied?
That said, OP why did YOU leave? and how the heck is this an “argument”?
Or, you know, you could be adaptable, kind, and get to know a woman you like, let her be what she wants to be, and create a two-way relationship with her that makes both of you happy and fulfilled. But what the hell do I know, I’ve only been married to the same wonderful woman for 37 years.
That’s a breakup my dude. I’m sorry.
Best thing you can do is start working on yourself now and there’s always a possibility to rekindle things down the road if you can really change to the person she used to like.
My ex said basically this to me. That I would never be a top priority and his friend would always come first. And I should’ve believed him because he sure showed it eventually.
To clarify, he’s still at his current job. He’s looking for a new one.
Thanks, I feel like I should have admitted to myself that I wasn’t good at money a while back. I understand this now and plan on being more literate and listening to him more. He had some extreme savings goals for a while and I felt like I couldn’t meet them without feeling like I had to give up my social life and I became dismissive after that.
It doesn’t even have to have anything to do with the BF, she should be prioritizing her child’s well-being and starting a relationship with an emotionally unstable former addict ain’t it.
Like he admitted to being manipulative and yet she believed him when he said he saw her as the mother of his children.
You were cheated on in your first relationship and I'm assuming she knows that right? So after one fight where she accuses you of not validating and affirming her enough, she goes straight out to cheat when she feels slighted. She then denied at first and was forced to confess after Tom had given you the details.
All of this happened AFTER you've gotten engaged.
Whether she has aspergers or not, she's a lying, cheating asshole. End this relationship and you might need some counselling, for some reason these swindler's are able to see you coming from a mile off and they're able to take advantage of you.
But I also want to know why you don’t trust men. Is it because you yourself are not trustworthy ? If so, take a look in the mirror before your next relationship.
Many men can't get over it. She chose to cheat and destroy the marriage. If she wanted to salvage the relationship she would have talked to you.
Instead she became infatuated with this guy. It will wear off really quickly if you decide to leave her. Good chance the guy doesn't want anything other then sex from her. She will be in for a rude awakening.
Start working with a good divorce lawyer who will guide you better then us. Even if youbare thinking about staying, please talk to one just so you understand your options.
When she was born he has fucked around for several years..it could be
How long have you been together?
Of course it's not asking too much to have a partner who isn't verbally abusive. Of course he disagrees that he's treating you badly, because abusers always think you deserve their abuse. You can't get your point across to a person like your abusive bf except by leaving him.