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I don, ‘t know where I am, 19 y.o.
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That’s what ungrateful little shits do. He fucked up .. and he wants you to feel guilty about it. No Queen. You don’t have to feel guilty and you definitely don’t have to pamper him. Cause he broke you trust and I m pretty sure your heart too. So he doesn’t get to feel offended,he doesn’t get to have contact with her outside work he doesn’t get to enjoy the privileges you allowed him to have before cause he can’t be trusted . Also him insisting to go knowing you are not ok with that cause she s there speaks a lot about him and validates your lack of trust. He should thank you for not divorcing to be honest. Because an affair is still an affair emotional or physical. And if he gets mad for putting your story here remember him that he did this. If he was a good man this story wouldn’t have existed in the first place. Also if you were to do what he did believe me his reaction would’ve been way worse and you would’ve been a s*ut .
That’s your boyfriend talking. And he’s wrong.
It sounds like you are considering threesomes if it involves bringing someone into your committed relationship and then that person goes away? What do you mean by exploring different parts of yourselves? Does he want to also explore men? It sounds like he want to be able to continue things like the best friend without you on occasion. Are you ok with sex happening outside of your relationship?
The dad doesn't help out much and she just doesn't make a lot.
This makes a lot of sense, thank you!! I think the $300 is basically me paying for that part of the house payment, him referring it to rent just confused me. I’ve never been in a serious enough relationship to even talk about moving in with eachother until him so I had literally no idea what to expect or how to go about it
Well they better leave the of country in the past because they have already burned one bridge.
Lol, good question!
Dude there are better boyfriend's out there who don't have anger issues and don't abuse you. What he's doing is abuse. Grabbing you in anger is pushing boundaries and he's seeing what he can get away with. He's testing the waters.
Please for your personal safety and mental stability end this relationship before it escalates further. You are in danger with this man and he will eventually get violent. Dnt let him stress you out and break your possessions or harm you.
Walk away. There are literally millions of other men out there to date. Go find a new one.
Yes. There are other exhausted mother out there who have less energy and drive for sex on a regular basis. But I for one, have a husband who understands that. He also understands that if he really wants sex, he is more likely to get it if he helps more than usual with chores, especially dinner/dishes/kids bedtime stuff.
Your husband sounds like a jerk. And is trying to blame it all on you. It’s sounds like you’re looking after a whole other grown child.
Well first off OP, you didn’t get rejected. Second. You made your play. Kudos there. You are not one of those guys who hides in a corner wondering what might have happened. Finally. You’re not going to succeed in everything you do. That’s life. Learn from this and move on. You made a boss move and, it would appear, it didn’t pay off (She could have been just totally taken aback by your sudden request). Back in the saddle my friend. Good luck.
You do not “try” to break up with someone. You just do it. You don’t need their permission or their agreement. Dump her and then block her, she’s cruel.
Also, editing your post to break the wall of text into paragraphs would make it more readable – you’ll probably get more advice. Or, adding a TL/DR to the end.
Poly lifestyle is not exactly traditional, my dear.
^ this OP
don't force it, just love her.
There's really no point in being “engaged” if you're not actively planning a wedding. Just wearing a ring doesn't convey any legal benefits or protections and you might as well not bother if he's absolutely certain he'll never get married. If getting married is “non-negotiable” for you you're simply with the wrong person. You might be able to put a (metaphorical) gun to his head to get him to marry you. But it's not like divorce isn't an option and it's not like he'll work that nude to make a marriage work if he finds the whole arrangement “unnecessary/stupid”. Go find someone who shares your values.
You know her better than I do, but it smells like a fucked up loyalty test/power play tbh.
She breaks up with you, you chase her, you take her back, and she gets to feel desired and secure in the fact that she can fuck around with your feelings all she wants…and you still won't leave her.
Not nude to see why you suspect BPD.
The problem is that that sort of insecurity isn't just cruel to you – it's cavernous. It wasn't filled with round #1 of this. It wasn't filled with round #30 of this. It's not going to be filled by rounds #31 to #99999.
You're either going to be stuck in this cycle indefinitely, or she's going to ramp up with a new level of loyalty test…which is what that Tinder shit sounds like.
At best, you can try to bargain with her to pick some other way to feel safe.
But you already have.
And she wasn't interested.
She doesn't want to give you a straight answer. She doesn't feel any nee d to change. She just wants you to keep playing the game.
Seems like you have 2 choices:
1) Set the boundary and hope she's able/willing to take potential consequences seriously, once they're actually in sight. Maybe she genuinely tries therapy. Maybe she at least admits that this is a BIG problem.
Or
2) Accept that she's not going to change. And figure out how, exactly, you plan on living with this. Be prepared for the risk that when it stops being rewarding to her, you'll just start being tested in other ways instead.
Like her actually flirting with dudes on Tinder to see if that'll make you leave.
Wow, that's fucking gross. Why would your boyfriend's mind even go to sexual things when you are talking about a normal interaction with a child!