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What is the disadvantage in testing? It would ease your mind.
You done what you feel is right.
You told him how you feel, gave him a ultimatum and he chose.
Unfortunately he chose her. So let him have her.
You broke up, leave it at that. Move on, because you are right, if he can't respect you now, then marrying and having children are not going to make things any better.
Hugs to you, sorry it turned out this way, but you are honestly better off.
It's difficult to say whether the relationship should be continued without more information. It's important to communicate with your partner and express your feelings and concerns. If you're not sure how they feel about the relationship, it may be helpful to have an open and honest conversation about where things stand. Remember that a healthy relationship is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, so it's important to make sure that those foundations are in place. Only you and your partner can decide whether the relationship is worth continuing, but it's always a good idea to communicate openly and honestly.
That's quite the situation. Considering they paid for it, it's nude to justify not inviting them. Then there's grandpa. Perhaps you have a friend to be your emotional back up? It's not like you need to invite them back to your home or they will be staying with you, right? This is not you inviting them back into your life. Perhaps as long as it's around public, it won't be too bad, especially if you got a friend in tow and grandpa who you do want to see.
But you know them better. If you really can't, don't force yourself. Do what is best for you and only as much as you can manage.
Sounds like she ain’t left the “hoe phase” unfortunately
It’s a common mistake a lot of couples make.
The relationship is an addition to your life, not a black hole that removes you from everything.
You need to keep in touch with your friends, hobbies, the things that you personally enjoy that you cannot do with your partner. They do not need to be included in every aspect of your life.
Persevering your identity is critical IMO. You should have multiple sources of fulfillment in your life, so that you’re not relying on your relationship to make or break you.
We both probably stash away like 65-70%. Ideally we’d spend $25k. I had venue quotes as high as $70k but I really went through and cut down to bare minimum.
Well consider where you think she will go when she gets the boot from his place.
My only disagreement with this would be that there are plenty of people who I would invite to a Christmas party but not my wedding.
If we put friends on levels, I could certainly see the couple putting the level of “invite to party” but not “invite to wedding”.
However, the fact remains that it is OP's party and they decide the guest list. OP shouldn't be guilted into inviting people they don't want at their own party.
You chose to date a chick with a kid , this is what happens.
Asexuality is a spectrum, and having more sex in the early stages of a relationship is pretty normal since it is new and exciting. I identify as demi/gray sexual (not always sure which one) but when I met my now husband we were very active.
Sometimes sex can feel like a chore, but there are plenty of ace-persons that enjoy and seek out sex.
You’re operating under the classic assumption that childfree women will change their mind later down the line.
The guy entered the relationship being told that she didn’t ever want kids. Doesn’t matter the reason. If he went into it with the patronising assumption that she would change her mind in future, that’s his problem.
Why did you marry someone whose interests you find so stupid? I feel like you’d have seen that coming within a few months of dating?
Her hobbies aren't strange. They just aren't things that you like. I hate to tell you thins, but a lot of people would look at your love of anime and RPG as childish and stupid as well. They would also be wrong.
I AM kind of wondering why the two of you got married if your interests are so incompatible.
Go on 50 first dates. See if anything jogs her memory.
Sounds like you started an emotional affair you are trying to justify.
It also seems like you and your husband are equally shitty to each other. Would you have reacted that same way if you hadn’t started the affair? Because he reacted that way because of the affair. That was the catalyst.
And if your bandmate was willing to upend your relationship what’s to say that he won’t do it to someone else and leave you? He clearly allowed you to manipulate.
If you really want out of the divorce with no hoops you gotta give up the retirement chase. I personally don’t think someone who starts an affair should be entitled to it. You wouldn’t be 10K in debt had you not started the affair.
And if you still would have just initiated a divorce then you should be entitled to that money. But I wouldn’t openly give my retirement to someone who cheated on me. Emotional or physical. I’d tell you to forget about that.
Again you both seem equally shitty.
It seems kinda out of line, I think just didn’t understand how it hurt him since it was a very light pressure which happened when I was adjusting my foot, and it might seem weird when I explained it in the post but he has given me similar comments (to the purpose of like – how could that hurt?) many times when he has done something to me on accident. He said later the reason for pushing me was that it was done in a playful way and that he wasn’t really mad when he did it (just irritated) but it felt to me like he was mad since it was kinda forceful. The vibe I’m getting from other peoples comments though is that it’s not really anything serious he did since I also did something wrong which makes sense, but sometimes it’s just nude to see the situation when you’re in it.
I think it's lost on you that he likes very gendered acts of service.
That's not an accident.
“anonymity” is especially tough if one starts a fwb/secondary relationship with a close friend you see regularly, someone living in the same town…. While OP might keep it a secret, what about friends, family, neighbors, the secondary partner etc.?
What if OP's wife wants to hang out with his friends or invites them over for dinner? This can quickly become extremely uncomfortable, hence, why many couples (who have this “anonymity” rule) say that friends/family etc. is completely off limits, and they usually also have rules about how often you can hang out, what happens if you develop feelings etc.
Aren't in that figure?!
I would nope out of this relationship. Not just for the debt (unless it was medical debt. Medical debt is bullshit) but for keeping it hidden until now. That does not bode well.
Very good summary of scenarios that are more likely than the story presented to and by OP!
Prepare to get dumped
Thank you, I needed that. You’re right, it’s just nude to get out of that very strict traditional rules I was raised in. Might be why I can’t think for myself very well as I was always do as I was told or belt comes out. But you’re right, the more I experiment around I can learn to be my own person and find my own life and path and not be another doll in our very weird twisted game of house.
Please update tomorrow since you're going to do it
I’m so sorry that this is happening, and I understand that you love him, but all I can think as I read your post is run. His family’s beliefs are, imo, unhinged, and his fixation on “the end times” does not bode well for his ability to be tolerant of your differences going forward. It seems that his upbringing has left him vulnerable to this sort of ideology, and I wouldn’t hold out great hope that he will reemerge down the road as the man you knew. Read some of the stories on r/QAnonCasualties to see how bad things can get in an analogous situation. I hope against hope that this theological dalliance will fade away. If it does not, please save yourself.
Yes you should fucking end it
I asked what about all the unsent messages? He said those were accidental texts sent when his phone unlocked while it was in his pocket.
bullshit
But neither you nor OP knows yet if that's what happened. There's a lot of dumb shit you can say to another person that would make them want to avoid you. Hitting on them is just one of the possibilities at this point.
Most??? Because being brave means doing something nude, you are taking the easy way out and hiding behind your sons as the reason why. One child getting mistreated is a child too many.
Has she said why she needs to go with this guy?
So depending on what the conversations were exactly would say whether or not they are shady, though the fact that he hid them automatically makes them shady in my opinion.
You say there are other shady things, and he is also from your post being manipulative and physically threatening/abusive (just because you are not the target, doesn’t mean it isn’t abuse)
I’d say listen to your friend, not your mom or sister.
It’s weird because the story is fake
They are not trained. Dogs need very minimal training to not shit inside. They figure out pretty quick where home is and they don't shit in their home.
The only person who can work on your poor self-esteem is yourself, so maybe you should start there regardless of what you suspect the deal is or isn't with your partner and his friend.
It's devastating to get cheated on, and it can really wreck havoc in one's brain for a long time, but it's not your partner's fault that that happened to you and he's not responsible for making up for the hurt that someone else caused you in the past.
Is it weird that your partner has someone new in his life he didn't tell you about? Of course it is. It's normal to tell your partner about any new people entering your life, not necessarily because you don't want to make them suspicious but just because that's an exciting thing that is happening.
On the other hand, if you admittedly “get annoying” whenever your partner connects with a person of the opposite sex and thinks he might simply be trying to spare your feelings by not mentioning it to you, then that's just as equally likely. And that's not healthy. Your relationship should be a safe space in which you can both share things that happen in your respective lives.
You’re probably right I don’t want drama
Block him. You being friends clearly isn't going to work.
She’s your ex noW. You can’t control what she does.
Yea you gotta get away from that guy while you still have self respect