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Wanting somebody to change for you is a waste of time. It's not going to happen. You either accept people the way they are, or leave them.
He talked about his dad alot, and how his dad lived in this other country and talked about his dads job and his life there. Even when I wasn't asking. He lied about where he was going when he was going to see him in prison. Obviously I get why he lied. But he was soo convincing and just too good at making up stories
YOU CAN'T. Leave it alone.
You are scared of him (and I think you are right to be).
Definitely, my first thought was the mistake was that he sent it to the wrong “op sister's name”. Actually if they haven't ever had much of relationship I really lean towards the sister and side chick having the same name than testing the waters and even more so when I read he doesn't send these types of things to OP. The leaving his phone in his room also makes me think it isn't the bar he is worried about OP seeing in his location history.
Trust your instincts.
I understand, it’s not very logical, but that doesn’t make my honesty less true. I was just sharing.
You've been married for four months and she has been cheating for three of those four months. This should be the happiest and best times of your marriage, and she cheated. Your marriage is toast. There is no way this will last long term.
I find it fascinating how biased these reactions are…
'I didn't want another child. My husband did. So when we had sex he held me down and now I'm pregnant'
Y'all would be screaming for his blood.
Your husband has a few screws loose, I'd drop his ass so fast it'd make his head spin, I'd leave so fast that I'd have to send for my shadow, make that asshole GONE.
Next time (if there is one) tell her your penis is fine, it's her vag that's too loose.
An accidental poke happens. But full on insertion? That does not happen.
I'm a 45 year old guy with a sex drive that eclipses most normal humans. If I've never done it accidentally, he hasn't.
Unless his dick is really, really small at least. Nothing goes into the butt accidentally much less twice.
Nah you’re right
Never saying anything is awful lol, you can be afraid to say it but if you’re gonna be with someone yet alone marry them something like this has to come up.
The longer she waited the worse it got. I get why like you said, but tough luck. It worked out here I guess, but yeah idk
You are already well on your way to financial independence. Good for you having a job lined up. I didn't do that when I was in college and it is a huge regret of mine. You have some options here:
1) Move the wedding till after you graduate and get a job. Lie to your folks and tell them that you called it off. If they are not in contact with any of your friends, or with your fiancé and his family, then they won't know. If they are going to be racist pieces of trash, and try to use money to control your relationships, then you why on earth should you feel the slightest remorse about spending their money until you have money on your own? Then have the wedding, don't invite them, cut your parents off, and enjoy your new life.
2) Take the hit to your finances. Let them cut you off, spend the money in your savings, and then never contact your parents again. Every dime you spend from your savings will be worth the independence you gain. Cut them off, and enjoy your new life.
Either way, I think you need to realize that your parents have chosen their racism over you and your happiness. You are better off without them. And please, for the love of Christ, if you have any grandkids, do not let them have contact with your grandkids. Your grandkids don't need that type of toxicity in your life.
5 shots in 5 hours wouldn’t even get me drunk and i’m 120 pounds and a major light weight. it’s totally possible she was drugged. even the person examining her said her injuries were in line with SA. i would listen to the experts, not the reddit investigators…..
As the only father-figure in this child’s life, you should be honored that HE felt comfortable enough with you to give you the title of Dad. I can’t imagine the hurt and shame he is now feeling with the rejection you just doled out to him. Shame on you.
I will say that he didn't get that phone call until YEARS later, as I made sure we didn't talk, because we both needed the distance to move on.
If she's anything like I was, the reason she kept going back is because you ARE a good person and she knows that. The reason she kept leaving is because her fears and insecurities are making her bolt. It's the fight or flight reaction. The man I traumatized for years was an AMAZING bf and TO THIS DAY, I have NOTHING but amazing things to say about him. But I was a broken young woman.
I've since gone to tons of therapy, hence why you're picking up on me being more empathetic. It took a lot of drudging through my traumas. I'm now 37 and a WONDERFUL and communicative partner and I honestly feel any partner I have is lucky to have me and vice versa. :). My bf of almost two years would absolutely agree. I'm apparently an “S-teir woman.”. ??
He recently did they break up when you got together?
As a woman I can understand her feelings. If you’re doing this while she’s at home then you’re choosing porn/your hand over her (In her mind) . That’s a blow to the self esteem. Might take her a bit. Just try and reassure her that you love her and are very attracted to her
You love who you thought she was. With this new information, you are seeing a very deceptive quality to her character. You really can't know what else she's hiding from you. This is the easiest it will ever be to leave. If she's that comfortable stealing HUNDREDS of dollars out of your wallet (how much cash do you carry that she thought you wouldn't notice that much money going missing?) and not even acting guilty, then she is absolutely comfortable with any number of other selfish and dishonest actions. This is not grabbing a dollar to buy a candy bar, and even that would be unacceptable without asking.
Maybe start less fights then? 😀 You're pushing things to get heated on purpose and then pull a surprised pikachu face when the other party needs some distance. You're emotionally very abusive, you want your victim to stay around you so you can keep abusing them. You're angry that your partner, who you supposedly claim to love, needs to take refuge so you can't abuse him more.
I hope you recognize I’m not in that camp. Now that he got the answer he didn’t like to the question he shouldn’t have asked, the only mature thing to do is tease her about it once every year or so.
I want to precise that I hope I am not telling the story just with my eyes full of hope, and changes the facts. My best friend told me it was toxic because I was really going to end up developing feelings for him, whereas I probably never will on his side. (yes, she is a pessimist)