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Ivy, 27 y.o.
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Lists are for you, so you can make a decision on whether the relationship is working or not. Looking at your posts, I don't think you're is. He is selfish.
she is immature, shell regret it afterwards
Lol. You're not right at all, you're just too deep in the poor-men-feminism-is-mean-to-me pity party to see it. Keep crying. I'm sure that'll work out for you.
He preferred to not have a girl that was super promiscuous with shady men. You can write it all different ways you want but there’s nothing wrong with him having preference.
Yes, in my opinion she doesn’t have a great past, but that’s subjective to me. I have friends that are HAPPY when they learn a girl had a promiscuous past because they enjoy more experienced women.
I know it’s very hot to cope with, but men can have preferences too.
I feel so stupid right now. I started reading and thought it was going to be about body odor. I am not kidding. I had zero idea that aromantic was a thing. Now I know and totally get my very first broken and I do mean broken heart! Wow. He was Aromantic. Omg. Please tell her. Stop doing this. It took me years to understand that I am ‘good’ enough.
He's trying to use scare tactics against you.
My oldest sister exhibits the same exact type of behavior. She actually did call the cops on me today. They showed up, and once I explained the situation to them, they backed off.
If you feel threatened, call the police.
Get out from under his 'rule'. Meaning, stop relying on him for anything. Money, emotional support, literally EVERYTHING. Either change your number, or go NC.
Document absolutely everything. Even this post. Keep yourself safe.
Last resort – file charges for harassment.
Best of luck to you OP.
Then give him an ultimatum. Because if it's my bf, I will never agree to him going on a trip with his female friend alone.
If he wants to go, then tell him it's the end for both of you.
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It's not your fault. Your friend was vulnerable and grieving your BIL was creepy and predatory for going after someone nearly half his age. They're both in the wrong, but you're definitely not. Just be there for your sister and the kids when you can.
If your kids were younger I’d simply be giving the advice to tell them that you’re gonna spend some time apart, but your kids are old enough to tell the truth, and if this alienated them from their mother, then she is to blame. Your kids are about to have a potential bombshell on them so I’d maybe be prepared to potentially get them into therapy as that could be needed?
Your bf's stance probably hit at the constant guilt that your dad carries around, because it's true. If “good” police actually did ANYTHING about bad bad police, instead of covering for them at every single turn, the profession would be a lot less controversial.
Not anymore, but they're trying to get those times back.
Your gf is a horrible human being, I am so sorry. You did nothing wrong.
Ask people for help. Your parents maybe? I'm sure they'd help if they can. This is such a fucked up situation…
I mean clearly I’m smart enough to know, I appreciate you though ♥️ giving me good advice. I hate how men are like this
I’m with you. What annoys me about this is the idea that it’s ok to wake up your sleeping partner just because you’re in the mood to do stuff. That sort of stuff has to be talked about beforehand. Not to mention it wasn’t like he was intentionally trying to wake OP up, he was using their hand without their consent, and they couldn’t consent because they were asleep.
There needs to be some boundaries talk for sure.
Thanks!
The thing with befriending coworkers is that you never have the latitude you would with someone who isn't intrinsically involved in your career. You alway have to err in the direction of protecting your job. As long as she doesn't get so offended that she drags your personal drama into the workplace you can get away with this. But this is why it's never a great idea to meld your professional survival with your personal life.
I did mention it several times to my fiancé but he doesn’t feel the need to do anything because she’s chalking it up as “she’s joking”. ?
He needs to see a doc.
Also, is he overweight by chance? My hubby had this issue for a while after he gained 20lbs. He wasn't obese or anything either and was otherwise healthy. No BP issues. He decided to lose weight for himself and after he lost 15 lbs his issue went away on its own.
Your boyfriend is an immature asshole but besides that, what is it that makes you uncomfortable with trying oral?
Her previous partner was an abuser she got cheated on repeatedly. I was the person that repaired her broken soul. She has been extremely grateful for it. Because I’ve sacrificed so much for her to get rid of the negativity she had.
My behavior wasn’t an issue for her in the first 2 years but for the last 6 months she’s been asking for more. I was kind of in a comfort zone. She slowly transformed from broken soul to a normal girl who pursues pleasures. I couldn’t keep up with that change. I’m sure I didn’t treat her poorly. These are very small things she’s complaining about like not saying “baby”(I only normally use babe or hun).
This is why I’m confused. I know I was wrong. But she started expecting more and more over a short period of time.
I’m willing to give her that attention now. Do you think I should be with her if she’s willing to?
I think the both of you could do with some marriage counseling. This is a huge red flag and you both need to jump on this.
You did nothing wrong dude.
The way I read it (from a women’s perspective), you were succinct, and to the point.
You left no question as to what would be acceptable and tolerated, and you drew out your boundaries perfectly clear.
I disagree with the bride it was rude, she doesn’t understand the difference between being rude versus direct and diplomatic.
I find a lot of people get confused with rudeness and being direct. Sometimes, depending on the context of how direct a person is they can definitely be rude in the process.
I believe you approached this in a very diplomatic manner. You told him due to past behaviours and conduct you are aware of and don’t want to bring up, you have boundaries you’re establishing. Because of his lack of respect for observing social behaviours, you made it very clear that an invalid could comprehend you do not wish him to pretend you’re old fast friends, and to leave you and your partner alone at the event.
You even went so far as to say you wish he’s doing great in life, which is the least he deserves.
Bob is being a little bitch. I think this wedding will be awesome, especially without a douche canoe to spoil the occasion for others.
You handled it privately as well so as not to burden the bride and groom to mediate a conflict that’s not their business or problem to get involved in.
Bob is 1000% a little bitch.
Considering breaking up because thinking about it just messes me up. And I don't really want to tolerate what she did but I love her.
I didn't mean to be very hot on whether the feelings are yours or not. I think both you and your partner has been through some rough times, and having feelings is entirely understandable. I'm not blaming you. I was just questioning where they come from in this scenario.
You did mention some episodes where your brother was being very rude, but after that you talked about how he has stopped being rude directly, and remains silent instead of aggressive in the face of disagreement. For instance. I got the impression that your brother has stopped being directly rude, though he does have some of the doubts or disagreement on the inside. I understand that can feel alienating, but I also think trying to push the issue will tend to make people defensive and put up walls. I also think that people need to be allowed to have their opinions on the inside, as long as they remain respectful towards other people. Even when their opinions are hurtful or goes against our own values. As long as they don't act in ways that hurt people, I think people are entitled to their opinions. And my experience in life is that people will become more open toward each other that way, rather than being pushed into adapting the values of others. Or being forced to display outward behavior that doesn't align with what's on the inside.
Now maybe your brother is more overtly aggressive and passive aggressive in a way that is nude to ignore. But if he's only being a bit weird around you, that might be his way of trying to accept something that goes against what he feels is a core value. He's trying to reconcile something that maybe a lot of people he knows tells him is bad because he cares about family. He is in a way, being strong. Going from being ok with something to full acceptance can be a long path for some. Maybe even you and your partner yourself too a long time before you were comfortable with who you are. Change does not happen overnight.
And I think trying to see the good sides to why your brother is even making this effort, might help bridge the gap. Maybe he's uncomfortable, doesn't understand and want to object. But he's trying. He's keeping his tongue, he's not getting into arguments. He's trying.
Now, ofc, maybe I got the wrong impression of the situation, that your brother is more overtly aggressive than what I got the impression of. But that was all I wanted to say. It was never meant as making you feel bad or blame you for anything. I was just wondering whether being more pushy towards your brother will achieve what you want to. And whether your emotions might be clouding your judgment at the moment. Maybe you're used to being treated badly, so it's difficult to recognize when people are genuinely trying.
Also, I never meant to assume your partner has no feelings. I was questioning whether you had the accurate understanding of the feelings in this situation in particular.
Just to speak from a similar position as what she was in… You guys were broken up for a long time really. She may want to wait until she’s sure you actually want to be with her to be with her, not just to be with the kid you share.
You’ve only lived together for 7 months, only slept together for 3. Getting back into a committed relationship for a second time with the father of your child is scary. If it doesn’t work the second time it means even the hope of it working is gone.
To work against his masturbation you need to know where it is coming from:
It is something psychological and he only gets an erection when he does it behind your back.
He is a disgusting person and doing in in front of people “without them knowing” turns him on.
He is ashamed to talk to you about his preferences and isn't happy with your guys's sexual life. (Maybe he likes to belittle you and that's why he doesn't want to talk openly about it)
He doesn't even notice he's doing it (he's old, and it might explain why he feels attacked when you say he's masturbating).
Those things are sure: he doesn't want to talk about it, he won't see a doctor because of it. Bottom line is: it's your partner and you have to accept him as he is, and if you think that he is disrespecting you and will not change maybe you should break up.
Talk to him about it, tell him everything you wrote on this post, see how he react and work from there.
Way to jump to conclusions. Most men don’t know about this so piss off.
I don't stalk my exes, what normal person does that?
What normal person hides the very existence of children from their father?
She probably got served or a lawyer letter, and rightfully so. He never had the opportunity to know they existed and not that the the pregnancy wasn't some kind of play. How many times might she have manipulated him that way? I've had exes do that, and it's NOT UNCOMMON! And now online begging for fake internet points and sympathy from strangers? Sounds like a manipulator finally got caught and wants confirmation that what they did was ok.
I don’t remember talking down to my boyfriend when I was 18. Hmm
This MAY be a phase, but he needs therapy to help him understand where his emotions are coming from. I went through something like what he's going through. Convincing him to go to therapy might be an issue, but he needs it.
As in she would no longer be welcome on the trip – end of relationship.
Yeah I’d lose the word fetish as well, it’s your preference ? fetish implies something seedy you think girls look good in puffer jackets end of story. If you come at her oh by the way I can’t stop wanking my dick thinking about what you used to wear in school it’s likely to go down like a lead balloon.
we are all smokers so if he’s just high on weed it doesn’t bother me, the only other drug we’ve done together to have sex was coke during a holiday, but we all were aware of it and did it together.
Consider that this woman was likely “kind, caring and elegant” with this other guy too. She made him feel “cared for”. But then instead of having the decency to end their relationship before getting with you she decided to cheat. It's just way too easy to do the right thing and end one relationship prior to starting something new. It speaks to her character and the way she practices avoidance. So yeah, unless she's undergone some major personality change she might cheat on you with the next guy before finally working up the nerve to break up with you.
Yes! You perfectly worded what I was feeling/thinking! We’ve known each other for a year and he’s always been amazing! But this last time…total turn off ?
Get a new boyfriend or you’re going to wind up being a babysitter (not a parent) to his demon child.