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Jasmine & Clay, 28 y.o.
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Your husband spent so long caring for you and making sure you got back to your usual self and finally when you feel yourself gain a sense of normality again you start to take on things that would benefit you only because you believed your husband had it covered. He sees you get better the notices your lack of effort to help in your home life, he asked 1 thing of you and you half arse it. He snapped, he took care of you for so long and was so strong for you and you took his kindness and threw it in his face. Do you not think it was nude for him to work and cook and clean and care for you? He needs help now because of you. I know you didn't realise but you should open your eyes and see other people can hurt also
If an ex partner that I thought I had a good relationship with and ended things with amicably came back a year and half later and accused me of raping her that pretty much inherently makes her an unreasonable person.
I used “crazy” in another post and the crazy people here got really upset, so let's use “problematic.”
Acting inappropriately? I'd love to know where IS and appropriate place to cry if it isn't at a funeral?! What the hell?!
NTA. So sorry for your loss, suicide is always so confusing for the people left behind, it's a lot to process and you are so entitled to anything you might feel surrounding it. This is absolutely not normal behaviour from your BF. Normal is crying at a funeral.
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You can't change people. If it's not important to her then it's not important to her.
I don’t understand why abstinence is great…. Especially when you already had a long term sexually active relationship? What are you gaining from this? It’s kind of clear what you are losing… I’m not trying to be rude, I legitimately don’t understand. And I have a lot of Catholic friends and family who have satisfying sex lives in all stages of relationships, and it’s not like the church is reprimanding them for it…
If you tell him and it freaks him out and he wants no part of it then he's not the guy for you. You and your son are a package deal.
I agree I completely lost the objective of the event. The goal was to celebrate my bf for all the things he does for everybody in his life, not just me, but I had put myself into the narrative way too much trying to pull it off. A nude lesson learned. I know it seems juvenile to want to exclude them. I have seen them take advantage of me and my partner’s kindness for over a year so my thinking was on a day about him, nobody should be walking all over him or taking credit all the planning me and a few of his friends went through to make this happen (I had to change the whole plan because I injured myself but I didn’t want that to get in the way).
I became the very thing I swore to destroy and there is trust on both ends that needs to be restored. Primarily me working hard to restore his trust to handle myself accordingly and me trusting him to have my back in the ways I feel most supported.
I have anxiety and depression. I tried IVF when we wanted to have a baby. It was unsuccessful. That sent me on such a downward spiral that I almost died in agony. Also, the whole process of hormone intake was horrendous (for me). I understand your position.
Thank you for what you wrote ?this is exactly my dilemma ? we did lose communication and I just went along with it due to work, helping kids with their everyday emotions/ homework/ housework blah blah blah. My husband focused on work and we got lost somewhere in between … I don’t feel old but scared to be alone but I’m not going to stay in this mess if he can’t be sorry! His take is it’s done it’s gone move on!
This is a LOT for 3 months. Too much. I love you a month in, constant fighting, him belittling you and calling you paranoid, him being defensive and lying about social media. “You can't force me to do something I don't want to do”. You should be in peak honeymoon phase where everything is wonderful – a fight or disagreement (not to the point of namecalling) here and there is normal but what you're describing sounds like constant highs and lows and emotional turmoil. It should be easy at 3 months, it sounds very not easy.
You probably want to take a look at your own communication style and needs: it sounds like you may expect CONSTANT communication from him, which can be a red flag for codependency. Codependent types can be very drawn to volatile up-and-down type relationships and may be unwilling to give up on bad ones (which this is). I am not saying that is you – just that you may want to look into it and see if certain things resonate. I'd feel very smothered with that kind of mindset (if he's live! and not talking to me he's disrespecting me). That doesn't at all excuse the lying but he may not be entirely off base with the insecure.
Between that, his lies, his “you can't MAKE ME” and refusal to compromise, how often it sounds like you guys are fighting, and how quickly things like “I love you” got thrown around this relationship sounds toxic and not good for you. You are not getting your needs met at the end of the day, and that is a perfectly good reason to not be in a relationship with someone.
You need to Google “ unintentional orgasm.” There are whole webpages is dedicated to this topic. It’s not uncommon for women and you don’t have to be sexually aroused to climax. It’s happened to me before.
I do want to give it a chance, but not to the point where it becomes unbearable.
And that is on you to understand about yourself.
What your personal limits? What are you willing to go through, in order achieve potential.
My rule of thumb… Once I am in pain. I pay attention. I am willing to go through a little pain to get through it. But I am not willing to live! in it.
So, whatever your limits are, that is on you and you need to protect yourself when its required.
Start to think about a plan B by yourself because this guy is in for a big life lesson.
That’s so awesome and I think it’s a great way to solve my problem. Thank you so so much!
“Hoe friend/phase” came directly from my BFs mouth and that’s why I used those terms, hence the quotation marks… I am not personally calling him a hoe.
And, I said I actually DO like his friend.
Is she still in contact with Tim, if yes she needs to cut him off completely, no negotiations here.
Secondly, she claims it was caysed by alcohol, right? She should understand what she us saying. She gas said to you, she can't control ger actions when drunk. Obvious conclusion is, she might do it again when drunk. Ask her for details. You need to ask her to not ever get drunk in similar (or more insecure) circumstances. If it was just drinking with friends, it basically means she needs to never get drunk without you with her.
Even if she agrees to those, should not follow the agreement you need to break up immediately.
I use water enhancers – I'm not sure what they're called elsewhere. They're sugar free drops you put in your water to flavour it. My weakness is fizz though. I miss the fizz. Sparkling flavoured water scratches the itch.
Why is he picking this stupid fight? Why does it matter?
You probably looked like what he says from the outside, but didn't realize it and weren't doing it deliberately. The end.
It's not because you're “disconnected from reality”. It's because people have different perspectives of the same experience. What a colossally dumb hill to die on.
I don't like the way he talked to you during this. Disagreements happen. They don't justify open contempt towards a partner.
How long have yall been together?
And to never talk to him again, and made sure to send me a text telling me to not talk to him.
He's lucky that you actually probably are as nice as it sounds in this story.
I would've been tempted to call his bluff and reply with “okay, I've contacted a divorce attorney and I'll send you the papers”.
Maybe look in the drain in the sink
Tell your husband like that you cut both of them, he is not a friend and so is she.
Personally, when two lives are engrained for song long, you might find a relationship councillor to be helpful. They specialize in separations, not just fixing relationships. It might do you good to have someone to talk to solo before bringing up the news, or some solo sessions then bring your bf to one for the actual breakup.
No you push over, you were not supposed to stay in a loveless marriage -you were supposed to file for divorce before he did if you felt like it was like that instead of sending nude pictures of yourself to somebody else while you were still married and then coming onto Reddit to throw a fit about how you can save the marriage when it’s too late.
His sister died , he got depressed, gained weight and stopped giving you antention. In turn you felt insecure lost weight then thought you were too good for him! But you never really cared about him at all, (it shows because you also cheated) you were only concerned about yourself in this whole Rship and what he could do for you matter fact what anybody can do to make you happy that’s why you are sending photos so the person can tell you words to make you happy! But soon the antention will stop and you will have to look in the mirror and realise what a selfish person you are! Is there anything you can do? Yea leave this man alone to heal with people who care about him !