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So why even entertain the girls repeating these stories? Tell them you know mommy says these hurtful things about girlfriend and that you all know she shouldn't be doing that and it isn't okay. And you're sorry that mommy says these things to them, even though it makes them sad and uncomfortable. But you've decided not to let mommy's terrible stories into your home and your family anymore. So the stories will have to stay at mommy's house from now on. Give them each a notebook and tell them if there are things mommy has said or done that makes them feel bad, to write it down in the book and that way, it will fade away and won't bother them as much. That if they feel like they need to, they can write out the things mommy says about girlfriend in their 'Yucky' book.
don't entertain the stories, don't ask for details, don't ask them to repeat them or otherwise pump them for information about what mommy is saying about girlfriend when you aren't around. That's between the girls and their mom. You can support them in having to deal with mommy's crazy without taking part in it.
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What some people who think to have kids and not marry is that it’s like a marriage, so why do you need it to be legally recognized? However, it’s not like a marriage for that simple fact it’s not legal (unless you are in a state which recognizes common law). If they don’t marry they are not afforded the same protections and rights as those who marry. Such as if something were to happen to one of them. If one gets ill or injured and medical decisions need to be made, they may not be the person they allow to make them. It would be their next of kin, especially if a family doesn’t have the best relationship with the partner. They might not rights to certain things if their partner dies.
Granted she should have thought long and hot about giving the ultimatum and if she really plans to go through with leaving, but she’s done it now. If marriage is that important to her, she needs to follow through. If she can on-line without it, she needs to figure out legally how she, her SO and their child are protected in the relationship. They need to speak to a lawyer and do some serious estate planning. Including health & end of life decisions.
You spent $20 on a very important lesson. Don’t give people money.
This cannot be real.
Lol I LIKE to be called mommy so it's not weird to me. So saying it should never happen during sex doesn't make sense since people do actually like it.
he doesn't want to sleep on the freaking couch.
yes but that would take a large portion of my safety fund meaning i would be delayed leaving him. plus he would be mad at me for the abortion
Tpo bad, you're not going to get him back, and if you try to sabotage their relationship, you're even worse of a person. He wasn't interested in you, that's why he was only your friend, that's why he never pursued you, because he was never going to date you. Ever.
She didn't take him away from you, they've more than likely always had a thing for each other, it just wasn't the time and place until now. Which is why they click so well. And why he would never be happier with you.
It's also entirely on you for not having a backbone to say something sooner, you missed your chance and now you have to suck it up. They're happy, they're together, and you're not involved. Butt out and get therapy for your delusions.
He will share if he is ready, and if he isn’t then he won’t. Love him for the person he is and let him share that part of him if he chooses because it very well could be something awful that he would rather not speak of
What do you mean by your dad not being the best person? What has he done?
It sounds like you have anger problems you need to work on. Also, understanding other people’s perspectives. You are overreaching on the politeness of never staying over 2 nights in a row. If her parents don’t care, why do you care? Then your lack of Unser standing your girlfriend’s perspective. Also date someone your own age.
We essentially had a realisation that we only have Sunday mornings as a lie in and then discussed making sure we spend them as “us” time. Honestly your reaction has been enough for me to come to the conclusion that regardless of us having this discussion, keeping Sunday mornings exclusive is kind of not something that's too easy to achieve.
I wouldn't want to be overbearing or controlling so I think I'll suck it up. I'm sure we'll have plenty of Sundays together overall.
You seem to me in a sort of weird arrangement. He kinda has moved in but hasn't at the same time. I had an ex-friend living with me for free for 6 months. My water/electricity etc bills rose but he didn't give me a cent. I thought he was crashing on my couch for 2 weeks or so, turned out he just used me for free place to on-line. I didn't have my privacy or anthing and on many cases his girlfriend was staying over as well. So, i think you need to establish what kind of living situation are you in. If you are living together now, give him the keys, talk to your parents and split the rent/bills. If he doesn't want to pay, you can ask him how does that make any sense. And that if he doesn't want to pay, he may not live there.
I was similar. My friends established a boundary to not listen to anything related to my dating life. And they meant it.
What that means
Yes, since we don't have seperate accounts. It would be pooled automatically. We don't do my money, your money. It's all our money.
Ah thank you! I think so too. My anxiety gets in the way sometimes but I’m getting help for that, well in a few months as the wait times are insane. But he’s also willing to join sessions with me. That’s actually a really lovely idea I will pitch that
Even talking about it isn’t gonna change anything, he’s gonna be thinking about what she said all the time when their having sex or afterwards.
Even for you as you are hurting yourself. This pain isn't even bringing you any benefits for the future
I would have died lmao
There’s a condescension in your replies here that feels incredibly invalidating. I adore my son and don’t look at him as a financial transaction. But the simple fact is that raising children does have a financial impact. You’re implying that any man who would ask for a paternity test doesn’t on-line their child and that’s just insane.
Planning to this weekend! Thank you
Good grief. His own MOTHER warned you off him, and you didn’t listen. He kept you a secret from his ex bc he wanted the option of being with her.
This is where you break up with him.
Sending nudes to other girls does not fall under the definition of nice
This won't be the last time.
Consider that continuing this relationship will simply be full of insecurity and false blame.
Up to you if that dynamic is worth it, I'd nope out of that pretty quickly.
This is the way. Never feed someone information to get the conversation started. Just ask open ended questions like, “Do you mind if I ask what you and my husband talked about at the bus stop?” Let her give you an explanation that makes sense. If she denies tell her saw some texts from her and then say nothing again. Let her fill in the blanks.
If the car is in your name, let her know if she doesn’t return it you will report it stolen.
Just don’t do it. He’s stealing your time.
He has a right to his boundary, but if he isn’t comfortable, then he should end the relationship. You should not change how you dress for him unless that’s something you want to do.
Likely most of us would disagree this isn’t boundary worthy but I guess everyone has to decide their own boundaries. ?♀️
At first I thought this is just an unfortunate situation. Like maybe he didn’t realize how important it is to him until now and he wanted to let her know it’s a need and a deal breaker before they got more serious so they wouldn’t waste anymore of each others time if they weren’t on the same page but… he’s angry and defensive when she said “okay if you wanna break up if I can’t do it then that might be for the best”? Imo that’s the problem here. Super manipulative. He’s the one who brought up both the new need and the option of breaking up but she’s the bad guy for agreeing? My boyfriends abusive ex did the same things.
if it’s something I won’t give him, then it’s a dealbreaker for him
When I bring up that it might be better if we split up so he can be sexually satisfied, he puts it on me and makes me feel like I’m at fault
He can't call something a deal-breaker and then blame you when it breaks the deal. He created this problem, he can solve it. Elsewhere. With a different girlfriend.
Look there is no benefit for you to stay in this destructive relationship this will lead hatred and resentment of him. Also if he calls you this to your face what is he saying about you to others? This shows how little regard he has for you. I would have a very serious conversation with him and explain that if this juvenile behavior continues the relationship is over.
100% correct
We didn’t date. Just one date.. he moved and we talked occasionally. We kind of discussed friends but he said and I know it realistically doesn’t make sense to be friends since he moved. I’m single… I’m ALWAYS single.. I know he was single a month ago. It ended with me getting upset with him about everything and he deciding to not get together when I was visiting. I took it as he wasn’t attracted to me and I said it. He never denied it. The last text I sent was my hoping everything goes in a positive direction for him etc.. he read it.
I agree 100% on this. It is a tough pill to swallow but you need to write her off. It is over. If you suspect something is wrong then it is way past wrong because women are better than men at hiding things.