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Jess Thunderlink, 40 y.o.
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He tracked you down live!? That is a huge red flag. What did he do/have for you to want to give him a second chance?
I totally understand. My ex was kind of a recluse and my boyfriend now is very social. It's completely new waters to navigate.
Stop, Dave. Stop, Dave. Stop, will you? Will you stop, Dave?
We had been talking for a month and we were clear about our expectations. But guess you are right, he was just looking for a hookup and not a relationship. Else, he might be bit respectful. I wouldn't consider him right for ONS too.
No contact could equal No Apartment – if she is getting financial assistance then there can be consequences to cutting him off. What you're saying is she may have to find a way to pay for her own accommodation.
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It's so much harder to give a hand job how to American women do it
Have you asked your girlfriend why she doesn’t like it? If she can’t give a real answer other than preference, then why is she dating you? If it’s hygiene related, time to take the lesson and step up for yourself. Communication my man.
He messing with your head. He loves being superior over you. You are giving into his narcissistic personality. It’s gonna be nude but you are going to have to stand up and not take this crazy manipulation anymore. Good luck – I think you know what to do.
Do not move in with her.
You can still date her, but I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT move in with her.
So, OP, if you raped and impregnated, and decided to not abort, your bf would help raise the child? Have you asked him about that scenario?
Also, does he consider taking a morning-after pill or RU486 to be killingan innocent human?
Usually this on again off again dating doesn’t work. Of course in high school and coland young adulthood, a lot of relationships don’t work – so not saying don’t do it, just be ready for it to not work.
With respect to your feelings, it’s good that you recognize your own emotions here regards her behavior. If you get back together, the fair and adult thing for you to do is to find a way to convince yourself that the past is unimportant. You were broken up after all.
Of course that is easy to say and extremely nude to do. Therapy and talking it out with people who are not her and don’t have a vested interest in making you feel good helps. You need someone who challenge you as you talk it out.
Or you could just have an adult conversation with her that starts like this, “I’ve put a lot of thought into your proposition, and I don’t know if I am ready for that right now”
He’s just going to hide it better
This is something life changing and this whole situation is messed up, it's like everything is giving me a middle finger. I feel like I'm going to vomit and don't have an appetite. People can tell I'm worried and upset about something and the worse thing is I can't talk about it to anyone at this point until we definitely know the results. I'm trying to not stress and trying to cheer up my partner as well because atleast one of us needs to take charge here. We both can't break down now. I'm trying to stay strong for the both of us but it's like drowning constantly in a whirlpool in the middle of the sea and fighting to keep afloat.
I don’t understand why she is mad? The car should be an “ours” and not a “hers” no?
You guys are about to get married you should be more like a team
What would you tell your sister to do if she came to you and told you her boyfriend had punched her in the head? Then he said us was her fault and took her car, leaving her stranded, when she tried to talk to him about it? I have a feeling if you care about your sister at all you would tell her she needs to leave because that’s a toxic and unsafe situation. And that’s not even addressing such a big age gap (which is made even creepier by the fact that she has known you since you were 15).
Seven months is nothing. Leave now before you waste years of your life
The problem with the nickname is you may call him that, but everyone he knew before you will likely still use his old name so you will be triggered. So, definitely therapy.
Why post?
I’m going to tell you something. In that moment, you should have gotten up and walked out. You should have stopped all contact until she profusely apologized.
She hates herself. So she is lashing out and PURPOSELY hurting you. Telling you that you are worthless. It’s straight up abuse. Her having real issues is NO EXCUSE for being abusive.
If you stay with her and coddle her she will never change. She will continue to take you for granted like the doormat you are
I understand you love her and that’s real. But we easily can love abusive people, and damage ourselves by giving to them when they just take, and then wipe their feet on us.
It’s after the fact now. But I would tell her that was out of line. And that if you mean so little to her, you will remove yourself from her life. If she says ANYTHING other that a heartfelt apology, just leave. If she tries to excuse herself, or say she never said that or meant it, just leave.
People who don’t love themselves are INCAPABLE of loving anyone else. Think about that when you decide who you want as your life partner.
Because a partner is what a girlfriend should be. Not a project or charity case. It’s ok to love and pity someone, and say “they are going to have to help themself now.”
I can understand how painful all these comments must be for you to read. But
Your going circles here. He says what he knows you want to hear to shut you up and keep you around for his convenience.
HE DOES NOT WANT TO GET MARRIED!!!! TO YOU OR ANYONE
I can agree with you that such marriage is certainly a great thing. The problem lies in the fact that it only works if both sides are loyal people with morals. Of course, you can't really know that in most cases. People who thought they can trust their partners also get betrayed.
I know I am not the best at judging a person in direct contact, I have been blinded by what I wanted to believe about someone before. No, this wasn't about cheating, but the point is I understand that just because I trust someone I can be wrong. I do not advocate for constant spying, and supervision, however should anxiety struck, or partner does something questionable enough, you should be able to have a look into such things like accounts/messages.
Naturally, I do not expect it be the case from the very beginning, and even more importantly it would be mutual arrangement. This is also a display of trust. IF my partner can have a look at my messages, this can mean they can find harmless, but embarrassing things, or sth else to take advantage of were they malicious. It is a scary prospect, so agreeing on it is a sign of trust in your partner.
There can be different arrangements as well. You know, some people have jobs that do not allow other people to be informed about anything going on in them. In such cases, a different arrangement would be necessary (as secrets are a duty). More so than that, an arrangement where we are allowed to ask a partner to see their messages is another option. This is more difficult though, it would usually be done in rougher times in the relationship, and only serve to aggravate issues.