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In my opinion tho J didn't cause any drama tho.. Also if someone dates my bully or anything it doesn't mean I have to be around them. And if that was the case i would be fine with it so I thought she would be too. Also how did i choose? I didnt choose anyone in my eyes. In my eyes this is nothing about choosing sides so I am really confused. Also J is ok with me having contact with S so maybe S is just dramatic about this.
I call my wife bruh all the time, lol she always goes “I’m not your bro”
I don’t really see this as a relationship problem. It’s just an unfortunate situation. You want him to leave the country he lives in and come to your country for your birthday, and logistically that just doesn’t work out right now. Your feelings are totally normal and understandable, but there’s just not much that can be done about it.
I don’t know. I feel like I can’t do anything right!
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Me (20) and my gf (21). We have been in a relationship for 3 years already and we had a fight, after the arguing she made a rule that everything that we do that includes kiss, hugs and etc needs permission from both parties. What do you guys think?
For me its kinda funny to think that I have to ask permission for that even tho we’ve been in a relationship for 3 years already.
edit: So last Thursday I went with my mom on a trip which was 200km away from here. The original plan was to come with us that day but she said she’ll go with her friend because they also have a besties night. So I said okay go no problem for me. As a boyfriend I would like to ask for updates and she does the same too so for me I thought it was right for me to ask. Then it was very hot for her to give me updates even when she was with her friend already. So I kept overthinking what was happening and that continued until Saturday night. The morning on Saturday our company had an event so she also went there but only for 2 hours. Then she said that she wanted to go back to their hotel so she rest and I said okay I will go and drive her there and then came Saturday night. So she and her friend with her boyfriend went to a bar. I told her to enjoy since it’s been a while for them to see each other and party. But ever since she left the event that company held, starting from 5pm until 12am she had no replies to my messages, no updates on where she is or what she is doing. I understand they are enjoying but I couldn’t sleep thinking that she is not giving me updates while she is partying in a bar with her friend. Then my issue came where I was overthinking again and couple minutes past 12am she replied that she was going home. I kept calling here but she kept on dropping my call. This made me overthink more and also gave me anxiety. I couldn’t sleep because of my chest being so heavy. Then after calling her many times, she answered, then I told her in a calm voice that I will go to there hotel and drive her home to our hotel with my mom so she could go with us when we go home on Sunday. Then after going home (she lives with me btw) I was still overthinking, what if she has someone else, what if she is talking to someone, she was very distant from me starting November up to now. So I'm guessing there was something wrong. FYI no I didn't abuse her or anything even on her pass relationships. Since the heavy feeling on my chest won't go away. I talked to her then she told me that I was too suffocating in a way that I wanted her to update me. So then and there she talked about having her me time, privacy and the question that I asked about which was about the rule she gave.
Edit: Before this rule I could do sweet things like kiss and hug her without asking verbally. All I do is make a pout or extend my arms. So it’s not very normal for me to ask her verbally if I can kiss or hug every-time I wanted to do it. It goes both ways.
edit: Thank you for the people who gave advice. Sorry for not being able to reply to most of the people here since we are in different timezones.
Last edit: Again thank you for the people that gave really good advice. I understand that there are people who agrees and disagrees with my question. I have concluded that I think I should fix myself and give each other personal space and respect. I will try and look for solutions to fix my overthinking and will try to talk her again. Thank you all!
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Let me ask you, so if your wife is now the primary care provider for both children, carrying the mental load of appointments and the shopping, school drop off and pick ups, still doing her prior agreed upon chores, and you want her to take on more chores when exactly does she get to clock off and have her down time to scroll the internet aimlessly free of your judgment..?
From my experience as a stay at home parent, never, there is no clock off time, you become the default parent which is incredibly mentally draining. Next you will be complaining that you shouldn’t have to tend to the children at night or when they are sick bc you have to work, which is doubling her workload as a parent.
Now if both children were at school it might be different, but you need to readjust your idea of a stay at home parent before you start resenting your wife for not meeting your outdated expectations
You don’t have a girlfriend, that’s what’s going on.
That’s true, though that’s not what most people do
You are a push over and easily manipulated
Is he immature? Absolutely. The real question is does this behaviour bother you and to what level?
I believe you should cut her off, and do so without telling her your feelings…she doesn't deserve to know how you feel and she can use your feelings to try to manipulate you at a later date. If you decide to respond to her….don't answer the “why”
Bro are you really not willing to sacrifice some gaming time so that your wife and newborn daughter can get sleep????
Don't stay with someone who treats you like this in a crisis…eventually it won't take a crisis to bring this side out.
Also don't flush anything but toilet paper. Tampons very well can clog up pipes.
So tell them NO. It's a complete sentence. They do not have the right to take your child anywhere. They can absolutely feel welcome to visit in your home.
She won’t even be honest about how old she is?! Hot stop, then reverse.
you cannot possibly be this naive
It doesn’t cancel this.
Everytime you buy real licensed products from HP franchise in any shape or form, you are giving JK money.
You are willingly giving her your money.
If you want to stop? Buy fan made stuff that isn’t licensed! I love HP, but won’t ever buy the game. Plus the antisemitism secondary theme that’s running within the game is at one other reason.
Sharing nudes and sex videos without consent and especially to cause harm is revenge porn and illegal in many states. This is an ongoing issue in your relationship- this guy committed a serious crime which your gf was the victim of. You feel uncomfortable because it sounds like you want to rectify the situation somehow, but it also isn't your situation to act on- she's the victim.
I would talk to her and offer to work on bringing up charges. You care for her and what you have, he did almost irrevocable damage to it, and you want to put it behind you both for good. That might mean seeking justice for you. What does it mean for her? Ask and communicate.
Ok per relationship advice, in life you pick and choose who you want to further relationships with, same goes for spending extended weekends for a special occasion. We want to honor your mom, the favorite, by at least asking. Worst case scenario your SIL causes a scene that leaves you embarrassed and angry. If that does happen you can always update with your frustrations.
Wow I'm SHOCKED an older man that could be your father has controlling tendencies and doesn't respect you.
So shocked.
Why do young women stay with creeper guys that are manipulative and controlling? Grow a spine and date your own age.
If you break up with her call the cops and tell them you have reason to believe she will selfharm
Since this is a chronic condition, and presumably (I may be wrong here), this is not something he signed up for, a little inventiveness and/or open-mindedness may be called for. Are you open to the possibility of him seeing sex workers? Having hookups? Not saying you have to be, just tossing out other suggestions, since it sounds like you’re really not interested/capable of doing much.
We had a good chat about it all right before she ended it. I know how badly I hurt her, and it hurts to see that I did that to her. I will definitely be treading lightly and be giving her what she needs.
I agree with you up to a point but the way you respond is WHY many people in the autistic community hate people who are consider neurotypical.
The way you are addressing things is why I personally see in the Autism reddits groups so many hate people who are NT based on the snap judgements and quick size up of another person with Autism without understand why they are the way they are.
If you don’t believe me? Seriously, go look in the autism groups and type in the search bar neurotypical.
Thank you so much. This is good advice. I would hope that this is something I can work on and get better at, it doesn’t actually tear at me all day every day. Just in the late hours of the night I get reminded and I’m like “oh.” And it stings. But he’s worth it. I’m going to try the writing down and verbal affirmations. Thank you so much!
You keep getting stuck on the same income thing when that’s not her issue. Her issue is that you have the potential to make even more money and contribute toward an even more comfortable life and the only thing you would have to do is work the same hours as her (it’s a labour thing not just a money thing). I’m not saying either viewpoint is right or wrong but that seems to be the difference.
She’s an elitist snob. Go next.
Everyone says that, that they would want to know. And yet when it happens and they are presented with it their first instinct is to deny and strike back. You are trying to break us up. You have a crush on my bf so you are being a crazy bitch and spreading lies. He told me he got her Snapchat because he is networking for his job and I believe him you crazy bitch.
Plus, I am dubious any effort to tell her anonymously will work. Some stranger that was there figured out who she is and how to contact her? She’s going to figure out it was someone in the group that was out with him and one of them is going to do process of elimination.
This op
Is he a Borderline Personality Disorder?
If they are seeking you out and inviting you to things, go and enjoy. You need to be able to go out and have fun and have new experiences.
I’m trying to find a compromise that will make my wife stop acting like an asshole
Ur 26, a grown ass woman. U can make ur own life choices and ur friends will learn to live! with or without it. 13yrs isn't that much and its not like he's 50 or 60.
we started dating when i was 18 and he was 26, we’ve been together for just over a year now. Technically he’s 27 (turns 28 on his bday) and I’m 20 in a couple weeks. but you’re not wrong the age gap is painful brutal.
Better than reactionaries suggesting OP divorce his wife and upturn his kids' lives over a suspicion of cheating.
One of them has done this before, many years ago when we were younger. He disappeared into thin air for 1.5 years. Always made excuses that he wasn't feeling well or blablabla. He was just clung to a girl. At that point I no longer even considered him a friend since I never saw him and moved on.
Long story short: girl cheated on him, he cried in front of me, apologized for being a shit friend and said if he's ever in a relationship he won't become like that again, that he was young and dumb and we were best friends ever since.
And here we are, half a decade later, and it's happening again. This time with both of them.
I have a feeling that once they get out of their honeymoon phases theyll then want to hang out with me just to get out of the house like some old bitter Grandpas. I don't want that or that kind of friendship.
Yes but they’re both Puerto Rican and like have that commonality. He said he didn’t really hang with anyone back then because he was in a relationship at the time which is another reason why I think this is the same guy from the bar last year because that guy also was Puerto Rican and we spent time talking about the crazy girlfriend he was with at the time ?
Tell her you will no longer be around her when she’s had even the slightest bit to drink and stick to it, or break up with her. These are your only options really
Send him the link to this post. Ask him to think about it for a day and then talk about it. If you are afraid you will be crying and unable to talk – use email.
I hope they both get fired.
Sounds like he’s trying to isolate you…