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Model from: cn
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What more is there to understand? He doesn’t want to get married.
Find out why. There might be a compromise. Does he not want a big ordeal? Elope and go on honey moon. Does he not like government involvement? Get married unofficially. Does he fear legal ramifications if you split? Depending where you are he will anyway, but you can sign a prenuptial agreement. Have a conversation about a compromise, both of your wants are important
Trying screaming… May be why he doesn't want to talk with you
Yes there’s no reason for a man that old to be talking to you when you were that young. It’s definitely a big red flag, even if it was just platonic chatting. It’s super inappropriate considering your age difference at the time you guys started talking.
I'm so happy to have helped!
Idk, if it never gets better? You can't force ppl to be in community with other ppl, so absolute worst case scenario, you'd have to decide if that's a deal breaker for you. Can you have a healthy relationship with a woman who doesn't also have emotional intimacy with your fam. I mean I could, but I don't have Family feelings like it sounds like you do. Family is a thing I do (happily! Enthusiastically!) for my gf to keep us healthy and happy. Everyone had different histories and needs there, but just try not to jump to the worst case scenario in your heart about this for awhile. Be chill, let her be chill, support her, and just let her know she's invited in and welcome.
❤️
Ha I’m dumb just I’m that dumb
You should leave him. I think his critical thinking skills or not good or maybe he communicated incorrectly. Just because most women don't choose STEM doesn't mean they are not smart. Also, smart is such a general term. What does he mean specifically when he says that ? even IQ tests in general are not very helpful in determining SMARTS, or did he mean intelligence ? Also there are ways to smart in different ways, some people are street smarts, other or smart in emotional stuff (like most women).
Please, please don't contact them. I am NC with most of my family, including bio mom, if anyone in my family gave her info on me, or even spoke with her about me, I would be devasted. There probably is more to the story, but it's NOT your story to know.
This doesn’t sound right. You may be the unknowing side chick. Either pop up at his home on the random and meet her and make sure your relationship is legit, or drop him because this doesn’t sound right.
Just reading thru your comments makes me a little sad. I hope you take the suggestion of dbt. It’s really helpful. Fwiw BPD is a,so a common comorbid or misdiagnosis for autism, it was for me. Either way, you sound a lot like I did at your age. I look back and I’m sad about the things I put up with before I did a lot of work on me. Please consider a dbt course. It will help you with a lot of this kind of reality checking.
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There have been plenty that have, implication is not a tricky thing. They know what their saying.
Unfortunately it's a very male-dominated field (think construction work). These type of comments are apparently “common” and much worse has been said between other staff by the sound of it.
Also my partner seems to want to be friends with this guy for some reason… So I doubt she'd want to sabotage whatever relationship they have
I mean all of what he wrote in his notepad to figure out what he wants in life sounds like positive things about you. It's the way you perceive what he thinks that can make you feel hurt.
Why the hell would safe and healthy not be a compliment? Exciting and passionate is attractive to everyone but if that's missing the mature aspects of a relationship then it's not something that lasts.
He made the right decision in determining to pursue you and not someone who has the same traits as his ex because he deemed that it wasn't good for him.
Sometimes taking things at face value can be detrimental to the actual facts. If you're in a happy relationship with this man then there's no issue. If you're not then this is fuel you're adding to build up to leave him, which you should.
Can you elaborate? We know it’s a residential home. Are you saying you worry about increasing their food and water bills because you’re an extra body?
Because he’s mostly having females that are pro choice reading this and a majority get very triggered by any guy being hurt a women didn’t want to keep it if he did, because “how dare he?!” And “he’d be. Piece of shit dad anyway”.
I’m pro choice and female but I do think it’s heartless. Regardless he has feelings and this stuff can effect guys too, I know first hand in that.
Your boyfriend is too insecure to be your boyfriend. Ditch him.
So I thought he said all these things but really you “filled in” his eyebrow talk ? He said nothing! Probably enjoying the afterglow of sex not listening. His “face”/grimace might be because he didn't feel like chatting (oh no, not talking again) not the body aspect. You manufactured this argument.
Sounds like it was a twerking vid so probably not.
You should have recorded that conversation. Or at least sit down and talk about it again and record it. If you guys ever do get to do that fantasy of hers(it could be a kink) then you’re gonna need evidence in case one day she will turn it around on you and play victim
Hahaha!
You can trust them. You married them. But people change and trust can be broken. Healthy marriages can go downhill to cheating without one partner even realizing it. And it's a pretty big deal given that vasectomies have a 0.1% failure rate andYou can trust them. You married them. But people change and trust can be broken. Healthy marriages can go downhill to cheating without one partner even realizing it. And it's a pretty big deal given that vasectomies have a 0.1% failure rate and condoms have a 2% failure rate that means you had a 2% chance of having a 0.1% chance of having a pregnancy. If you do the math that's 0.02 × .001 = 0.00002 or 0.002% chance. That's a 1 in 50,000 chance.
The rate of infidelity in marriages for women is 10% – 15% or 1 in 10 to 1 in 6.67
So vasectomy and condoms both failed at the same time is one in fifty thousand. She cheated is one in ten to one in six point six seven.
Providing a paternity test is very reasonable. If there's nothing to hide then there's nothing to be scared of and no reason not to get one.
Y’all both need a sleep study and ear plugs.
Where did you get those statistics? More than 90% of people who get into med school graduate.
Thank you, this is great advice. The ultimatum is needed.
She probably thinks you're cheating. Just tell her.
Thank you for this. Im really trying to work on myself I just don't know where to start.
If she isn't a car nut, driving around in this car would give her 0 enjoyment. It's just a car to her.
It doesn't sound all too special, although the dinner sounds nice! Was there no event in Seattle that you could have attended?
You're in any abusive relationship.
Too many red flags here to list.
Especially telling is that, after supposedly escapting from an abusive traumatic relationship, she jumps right into a relationship with you after only a few weeks, like a parasite seeking a new host.
Either she was really the abuser ( see: projection) or they both were disordered douchenozzles.
You've internalized a lot of her gaslighting and are using language to invalidate and denigrate yourself that she will have often used against you before this, to make you feel foolish and sinful. You're trying desperately to see her side of things, which is mostly just superficial drama, salaciousness and bigotry used as a flimsy excuse for her impulsive and agressive behavior.
Thanks for the support and advice. A lot to work through but I will get there. Y’all have been amazing honestly
It is. I’ve seen it and the update before. Then it disappeared and here we are with it again. I don’t know the point of making it up or reposting it.
This is not your fault, you didn’t know that he was still married. It’s unlikely that things will work out with his wife, at which time he will come sniffing around for you. Never forget — he lied to you, you were his second choice, you deserve better than this. Block him, block him now.
I agree (as a cis woman). This kind of things should be disclosed a few weeks in, not after a whole year – preferences are valid and you can't force anyone to want sex with this or that kind of private parts if they aren't into it from the start.
I'm gonna be frank. There's no good way of going about it.
You just have to remember, it's your wedding, you can invite who you want to. And in this case, your reasons are justified for not wanting to invite him.
Sit your friend down, maybe have a mutual third party or someone with you when you break the news to her. Be polite but firm. Tell her while you respect her decisions in her relationship, you and your husband are not comfortable with her bf attending, and as such would not be inviting him.
Even if she understands and accepts your decisions, chances are her abusive bf will come to know that he's not invited sooner or later. He will just force her not to attend your wedding altogether, So, do plan to have another MOH already.
In short, don't ruin your own wedding just because you want to keep the peace.
You don’t know where to begin.
Here ya go…
While he is at work, send him a text that you are breaking up with him right after the locksmith leaves.
Block him on everything.
Write down every interaction you cannot record. When the recordings and journal entries get excessive (probably after a few days), go to the police and get a restraining order.
That is YOUR home and your haven. Get him out. Tell everyone within eyeshot of your place that he is scary and they should watch out for him and tell you if they see him.
Best of luck, sweet pea, you can do this!
Seven years is a long time and separating is definitely going to hurt and be a scary process. But if you don't have any friends because you were so focused on him and the relationship, that's a sign that you need to focus on your own health as an individual before you can be a good partner to someone else.
You also probably need to work on your self esteem because you were willing to stay with someone that told you he didn't think you were good enough to have a future with and wasn't proud to introduce you to important people in his life. If you didn't dump him for that because you know you deserve more, you need to dig into why and start believing you do deserve more.
The train is around 40-45mins so easily over an hour cab and where we on-line that would equate to around £150
Break up with him then, and if he is that good, he will make someone else happy.
Drama, the sunk cost fallacy and afraid to be by yourself while you work yourself out are a dangerous combo.
By staying OP you are telling her that flirting, giving out and getting numbers now have to be hidden extra well, and could be fixed with a nice dinner and a good night since there are no consequences.
Who said I want to benefit from her money? I'm saying I, as the homeowner, am in a position to benefit whatever she decides to contribute towards.
So here's an example scenario. We decided to upgrade the kitchen and each contribute 5k towards it. Shortly after the kitchen is finished, we break up and she moves out. I decided to sell the house. Suddenly that $10,000 investment in the kitchen raises the home appraisal considerably. Now is it fair for me to reap the benefits off her investment towards the house? Of course not. At a minimum I pay her back the 5k she put towards it.
Because OP does not converse with her, or give her affection and admiration. She will find someone who does. This is normal.
Let me ask another way. What outcome do you want?
Are we the same person? You described me to a T. The girl who's parents didn't want/love her because she was born a girl. I was 1 too many when they wanted a boy. I need to send this to my fiance. I wish I could have said it this well. Instead I freaked him out and all because I don't know how to say it. I hope you're happy and loved and cherished for all that you are. It still hurts but hopefully not as much as it used to. ?