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They are in their 20s. We don’t know the whole story . His mother may not like OP for different reasons.
I’m not sure of the data protection acts in America I know they’re different from the UK but I’m pretty sure what he’s done is illegal? You can’t just access details and then use them for personal use like this… it’s a tricky one because if you say something and get him fired you don’t know how he will react, especially since he has her parents address. But at the same time, shouldn’t he serve time for unlawfully accessing someone’s data and using it?
Then I think he's good. You should still break it off, but nice to see he isn't a predator.
Just because a another girl is lusting over you, you jump at the chance? Ohhh…
Men who are “very chill” don’t play in aggressive ways with little dogs.
They don’t choke dogs, they don’t hit dogs.
Your boyfriend still has an anger management problem.
Don’t deny things next time, just tell him he’s imagining things. Or even say you’re not interested in hearing his little fantasies. Make it clear you don’t believe him and won’t let him gaslight you.
Why bills should really be split to the party. If my life only cost 3/5ths of the reality of what it was I would feel a lot more richer than I was too
Thank you It's a tough one, I feel like I have no idea who this person is.
Ask her what's upsetting her, and repeat it back to her (paraphrased) so she knows you've heard her. Listen without passing judgement, validate her feelings (that sounds really upsetting, that must be hard to deal with, etc) and offer some immediate solutions, not to the problem but to how she's feeling. Run her a bath, light some candles and give her a glass of wine. Put on a movie and order some takeout. Go for a walk, together if she wants. Whatever might cheer her up or take her mind of it.
Ask if she wants advice or suggestions, but understand that when most people are upset, most of the time they just want to be heard and validated. Sometimes people find having a plan for handling problems to be helpful, but in the moment just saying “why don't you do X,Y, or Z” is often not well received.
Oh no, he would have to pay child support for his own child. How terrible!
i’m not sure, i recently moved to the UK from the states with her because she’s in the military. So i dont know anyone here at all, it can feel isolating.
This is sexual assault. Consensual sex requires informed consent. You consented to having sex with a condom without holes poked in it. He tried to secretly have sex with you with a condom that he poked holes in. That is not consensual sex. Your husband tried to have non-consensual sex with you. Do we know another word for non-consensual sex?
If that had happened to a friend of yours, what advice would you give them?
You need help bro
If you must send one more message. Make it your last. And make it brief but pointed.
“I just want you to know that the way you chose to end things was really hurtful and cruel, and I still hurt from it. Your half-assed apology didn’t really make me feel better.. and going forward I think it’s best if you don’t contact me going forward. I’m going to take steps to remove you from social media and from any shared albums. Please try not to be so horrible to the next one.”
And then if you send that or something like that… stick to your guns. Block him on everything. Make him sit with that. Don’t give him the opportunity to spin it his way again.
They have every right to ignore you. They aren’t your friend and have made it very clear that they don’t like you. I’m not sure why you are trying to make jokes with them, when that is clear. They don’t want to forgive you and have no interest in a friendship with you.
What you actually have is a friend problem, not an ex roommate problem, as your friends keep flaking on you. The reason is pretty irrelevant, the fact is you had plans and now they keep cancelling on you. You will need to sort that out with them or find friends who are more reliable. I’m sure the players could get the coach to either announce training sessions earlier or not take part in sessions if they have pre-existing plans. If they aren’t doing that, then they clearly don’t feel very strongly on the point.
Have you told them how it makes you feel, when they keep flaking?
Right? Shes showing her commitment by total transparency and OP is majorly fucking it up by getting in his head about it.
He wants to be close with her. That means you either have to accept this and get over your discomfort, or walk away. Because attempting to restrict his interactions with her is only going to generate resentment. He has to want to pull away from her for the sake of your relationship, otherwise it’s him begrudgingly following your rules, feeling controlled, etc.
I don’t think your feelings are unreasonable at all. But that doesn’t change what I’ve said above. No happy relationship involves one person forcing the other to do things they don’t really want to do as a condition of the relationship.
Fwiw: I had a male friend like this when I first started dating my husband. It was completely platonic, but when my now-husband brought it up I could see how it was sort of taking up the “slot” of “primary relationship” in my life. I could see that it really was preventing me from investing all of myself in the relationship. So, I pulled it back, staying friends but waaay less intense/close.
Point being that some people in his situation would willingly agree to rein it in. But he isn’t, and that means you either have to find a way to be okay with it, or walk away.
That's a terrible idea you should never propose during a holiday or event
.
If he actually loved you, the thought of going no contact for a month would be unthinkable for him.
Just end the relationship and find someone who actually WANTS to be with you.
Scorched eatth may be the only way. There seems to be no reasoning with them.
They are trying to break you. They believe that if they do not let up, you will eventually cave. They want their perfect little lie of a life and seem to be willing to do just about anything to get it.
By moving so close, they plan on stalking you, your wife, and your child/children. Suddenly, they will be at the same store at the same time and get to meet your kid/kids even though you have denied them that by any normal route. They may show up at daycares. At school events. Birthday's, holidays, and anything they think they can manage to get access to keep up their lie. They do not seem to care about you or your family. Just the idea of you as it fits into their fake world. If they truly cared, it never would have gotten this far.
They are delusional and will not stop unless forced. Telling them flat out any time they come close to you and your family, including out and about you will call the police for stalking and harassment until you are granded a restraining order for both of them, may get it across. You would have to be willing to follow it through. But if they moved 5 minutes away on a delusion, it may not be enough, or it may take a while of their stalking and a sympathetic judge to get an order to keep them away.
Also, look into your state's grandparent's rights laws. Just to make sure they can not try to sue to force you to let them see any children. Usually, I think a pre-existing relationship is required, but it never hurts to dig just to make sure they can not get it, or they can not fake it somehow to get what they want.
If you truly want to hide, it may be hard. They may have been able to track you via public records if someone did not tell them. It would take buying a house under something like an LLC and never telling anyone that may have a link to her where you move to.
I hope I am wrong and something finally clicks, and they leave you alone. I wish you and yours the best. I can not imagine the stress you are having to go through and may go through in the future.
Yeah, this isn’t a typical ‘Reddit tells everyone to get a divorce’ situation going on. I was in an abusive relationship for years and they ALL HAVE THE SAME M.O. It took almost a decade before the emotional abuse became physical. I think the thing that really got me to leave was a friend asked me how I would feel if someone was treating my sister that way. It had never occurred to me before then how much I’d lost my self worth until I saw it from this perspective. I hope you open up to friends and family the extent of what’s going on if they don’t already know. This person doesn’t love you. They just want control and I’m worried for you because of the extent of their manipulation and gaslighting. Leaving a relationship like this can be terrifying and you should have a plan to stay with friends or family, get all your important paperwork together and gtf outta there while he’s not home. He wants a divorce? Call his mf bluff NOW before it’s to late.