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Not saying it in a mean way but if you’re scared to go home do you honestly think your marriage will last? He clearly has anger issues and it’s up to him to realized he needs help.
I think you should leave NOT divorce. Sit down talk to him tell him his anger is scaring you to the point you don’t feel like coming home. If he loves you enough he should want to get help until then you should leave.
He is too old to be your friend. He is too old to be your boyfriend. Please do not meet him.
Thru hikers don't do once in a lifetime hiking trips. It might have been once in a lifetime but the last one I dated did it every two years when he had enough money to do the next one. Still wasn't abandoning me – I knew the nature of his lifestyle pretty early in dating
This reads like a creative writing exercises lol.
My advice is to help him through his addictions and seek help with him platonically. Your friend reached out to you, he needs your support.
He was being a good guy when he said he didn’t want to place the burden of his addiction on you; addictions are heavy. It’s a lot to bring into a brand new relationship, especially one you’re serious about.
If you do get with this man, you are in for a LONG road of recovery ahead with him, which will include setbacks and most likely relapses. You’ll probably see him at his worst and the relationship will be tough, and not in the romcom kind of way, in the ‘I don’t know if I made the right decision being with this person’ way.
He doesn’t want to hold you back from your goals and aspirations; work on those while supporting him as a friend, and once he is in recovery and feels ready for a relationship, go for it, if you’re ready for things to be extremely hard. He would feel TERRIBLE if you guys got together and his addiction did result in you eventually putting your own goals to the side to help him, that’s exactly what he was trying to avoid by not being with you a couple of years ago. And the guilt and shame wouldn’t help him recover.
Also, as a small note, get ready to not drink around him (or at all), and possibly not keep medication in the house, or keep it locked away. If you’re in a relationship with an alcoholic, you can’t sabotage them by keeping booze and pills around, it wouldn’t be fair.
Have you seen him when he’s drunk? Really drunk? If he’s been hiding his addictions you may not have seen that, and seeing someone you care about become a totally different person because of alcohol is rough, and you may not like him like that. Exact same with drugs. But if you get into a relationship with him, you can almost guarantee that side of him will show up. It will be unpleasant at times.
Overall I don’t think it’s a good time to get into this relationship. I think you should wait AT LEAST until he’s in recovery, but even then I’d recommend waiting until he’s ‘in remission’. But again, that doesn’t mean you’re in the clear, he will most likely relapse. If you’re as serious about him as you say you are, buckle in, this is gonna take a while.
You won’t go to jail for someone committing suicide for not dating them.
Talk to any school authority to say that she is harassing you and tried to kiss you against your will.
My grandfather insisted on manners
You've been fucking for a year but he's not sexually attracted to you. Does that even make sense? He's embarrassed about what people will think of him.
He's obviously looking for a hook up. I said what I said.
Sounds like she has some serious codependency and abandonment issues. She was 19 when you met and most likely never been out on her own. I’m going to take a wild shot in the dark and say she moved out of her partners or campus housing and in with you. She sounds very inexperienced and possibly not emotionally ready to be with someone who has been on their own since they were 17.
I suggest couples counseling. It will help you learn how to communicate you need space while also providing her with a safe place to explore why she gets so emotional when you try to go to the gym or go outside to breathe. It will also help give you the tools to better support her as she navigates who she is, because I doubt she knows who that is without someone telling her who to be.
Wrap it up
Thank you so much! This is extremely helpful! I'm not sure why my brain didn't think of involving a therapist but thank you so much for reminding me of that. I have several lists that I've written down with questions I have, boundaries I want to set, and things in the past I need acknowledged and genuine apologies for.
26 and 18 was the first red flag
Yep definitely. And I’m more of an independent person so I barely ask her for any favors so it can be really annoying for me when she keeps asking for stupid crap.