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Model from: ca
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1975-07-15
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Subculture: subcultureHousewives
I'm chinese and husband is american. My parents absolutely judge, it doesn't just go away because you tell them to stop! They stay with us a max of 1 month each time they visit. I also had not seen them since 2019, and they just visited in October for 1 month. My parents are fluent in english and able to entertain themselves / take public transit during work days so they were self-sufficient, did a lot of grocery shopping, and cooked for us which was very nice! However, at the end of the day, after a month we all wanted our privacy back. 6 months is crazy!!!
Run
A friend had a wonderful relationship for 6 more years where this was an issue. They choose to continue the relationship until she decided she was ready to start a family and then broke up. Who is to decide it’s stupid to continue? She had a blast with someone she loved even knowing eventually it would end.
Nothing has to be immediate as long as expectations on both sides are set for the future.
Ok now with the update— ABORT, ABORT!! She told you a huuuuge lie; don’t sweep it under the rug! She made up a whole biological child and kept that lie going for months, proving she’s ok lying to you and will full on commit to keeping her lies going. You can never trust her.
no, that's not what i meant. is more like know how he deal with that and if he feels something for her yet…. as far as i saw he def does
I'm hoping the 51 yo. is the mom?
Yeah, she probably didn't think to find out that when conception sex happens you already count as two weeks pregnant.
Have you even read the discussion? Your point has seen brought up already. She was late from work and has summer tires, we have 2 feet of snow. I called her to see if she was okay and got no response, so I checked snapmaps to see if she was still at work. That's when I saw she was at a random house.
Don't be a douche
Honestly don’t see why any of that really matters so long as they do not have issues with and and communicate if any arise. Bad take.
i hope i find someone nice im scared!
As a queer person you seem insane to insist that two people with female equipment having sex is anything but lesbian sex.
Ah ok, was just asking because almost zero sex drive was one of the first systems of alcoholic hepatitis that I experienced.
Well yeah because that's her job as a SAHM. I don't expect her to earn money and I am not expected to do housework
That doesn’t make it better. You got lucky.
“My wife is still upset a year later that I raw dicked a 21 year old because of religion. Why is she mad?”
We don't have access to good mental health diagnosis here, so no.
He might not get another job, his next job might not be so forgiving with his absence
You are still in your prime for dating… she is not. Let her suffer and never be happy dude. Find someone that isn’t going to cheat on you
Girl, leave!!
The label is less important than the rules it implies. If you guys have a good thing going and he’s not ready for a label maybe it’s worth waiting another 1-2 mo, but define the “unlabeled” relationship as exclusive, at least.
More than briefly mention how you feel. If that falls on deaf ears, bail.
i mean its not betrayal in a sense, you're allowed to disapprove of things as a partner but you cant ban them , op is their own person and so is the wife. she should have left him if she truly couldn't live! with him making that decision.
Your husband is abusive to both you and your children. You seem to accept it for yourself, constantly working to avoid setting him off, walking on eggshells. But why are you tolerating this for your children? He threatened to force feed your son?? Take your children and run, before he kills you.
You are an adult. YOU make your choices now. And YOU get married (or not!) when and if you choose. Don’t focus on age and how many years older they are than you. Just have fun (but don’t go creepy and dare men in their 30’s either because that’s not good!) just focus on having fun and dating and experimenting. How do you know what you will like if you don’t try lots of things? Think of it this way: you are now legally an adult. Say you can’t eat ice cream until you turn 21. Now you are faced with hundreds of flavors. Are you just going to ONLY eat vanilla because your parents say that’s the best flavor for you? Don’t you want to try strawberry, mint chip, rocky road, butter brickle or even sherbet? Or any of the 100’s of flavors out there. Maybe vanilla is NOT your favorite. Yet now you are stuck with vanilla for the rest of your life even though it makes you miserable all because it makes your parents happy. Dating is like ice cream when you are 21. Explore all the different flavors. You might decide you don’t want to ever get married. You might decide to marry someone poor but who makes you incredibly happy and makes you laugh. You might decide to be a lesbian. You might find a job you love and put off having kids while you grow your professional portfolio or you might choose to never have kids (or maybe you can’t have kids). ALL of these are just fine. Whether ice cream (or life chose) flavor that works FOR YOU is just fine. Your parents live! their lives their way and you on-line yours the way you want to
Thanks for the context. The reason I asked, is because there’s a difference between her asking you to do something compared to you offering to do something. To acknowledge what you said, I get that she has made it clear that she’s wanted you to do so.
Unfortunately, that tiny bit of context changes everything. We’re talking about a singular moment; this instance/day. You suggested that you’d cook her favorite meal for her arrival home. Awesome. Sounds like something a great partner would do.
But then you made it conditional. That’s where you lost any support you expected to get here. To add clarity, if you came here saying that she asked you to cook her favorite dish, and you responded saying that you’d love to do so if she split the costs, I’m sure we’d still have some thoughts or questions, but to be fair to you, there’d logically be no issue with your request. She’d have been requesting something where you’re doing the work, and you’d be requesting she contribute. Absolutely reasonable.
The issue here is that you initiated the conversation and made the offer. You could have led with the condition. “Hey, if you split the costs, I’ll make your favorite dish.” That’d given her an opportunity to decide based on said condition.
You didn’t do that though. You suggested that you cook her favorite meal before she got home. She logically responded quite happily. You then told her she needed to pay for it (half or otherwise). At that point, why did you even offer as if you were making some sort of amazing gesture?
You don’t need to “mind us.” She didn’t ask you; you brought it up. To drive the point home, it’d be like if she had told you she was dying to see some random movie. Days later, you then tell her that you’re planning to buy tickets to said movie tonight…if she pays for her ticket. Out of context, it’d be reasonable to expect that. In context, you laid it out like you were doing her a favor. What’s more, is incorporating the “mind you.” That’d be you saying “mind you, we’re watching the movie in IMAX.” That’s you choosing the best experience, even if unnecessary, never asking for her input on it, paying for it, and then asking for reimbursement. Nothing you did comes off as positive at all. Understand that.
This is exactly my point
Even if there is backstory around being late, insisting on dinner out and you picking him up after you’ve worked a 24 hour shift is so inconsiderate.
Your long winded statement is summed up in the question “why try to understand her?”
The answer is that she is his wife. That’s the only reason needed for trying. As I mentioned in my original response, this only applies if the stress is worth it to try.
Thank you very much, my therapist is trained in EMDR and will definitely explore that route with her. Appreciate you!
Break up!
Yeah you're right
Thanks mate! I'll keep that in mind, definitely. I think she is too idealistic and hoping for something that can never happen.
To be blunt: you're not her parent, you're not responsible for her survival.
You've been in counseling for years. There's an issue in the dynamic between you (pulling weight for the household) that is not being fixed. When living together huge decisions like quitting a job impacts both people, and one can't act that frivolously and irresponsibly. Sure, it's her life and she's allowed to do what she wants; but when something impacts you, you get a say in it.
So. You're not her parent, and not responsible for her survival. She's not pulling her weight in the household, and apparently willing to change it for the worse. Given how you feel you're more and more resentful towards her, and wanting to break up, then this is the moment to do it. Don't wait with it, just say it.
Take a video
Hi everyone.. thank you so much for all of these comments. I dont really have anybody to go to for advice and I really needed this.
For everyone that's telling me to break up with him, we're already broken up. We broke up weeks ago. We're at a “?” stage currently.
I know it sounds really stupid, I know I sound really stupid right now. I was hoping that maybe I would gather the strength to be his friend. Maybe take some distance to heal from all of this trauma and come back and be his friend.
I dont know.. i dont know how to be away. Why don't I love myself enough?