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…his kids?
The fact that I have said to him before?. I have said to him on many occasions that I had been texting him consistently and he responded with where did you go for the past hour or whatever.
Lmao she cheated but you have to win her back? You do realize that you have zero self respect right? This will never be a healthy relationship and you are showing you have no value by getting back with her and taking any kind of blame. Good luck dude. You are making a mistake with this one.
If someone is going to break up with you over a joke you're better off without them anyway. Are you going to be tip toeing around her the rest of your life afraid of offending her? I have quite a sarcastic sense of humor and frankly it's the kind of joke I would have made, lol. If she left over that, I think there's something else going on. Maybe you hit a little too close to home, like maybe there is something not right going on with her like she's lying to you about something or cheating or something.
wh
I’ve been in your position before so I hope that buys me some cred with you because what I’m about to say is going to sound rude to you right now, but will make absolute sense in 15/20 years. You don’t have to trust me, just hear me.
The difference in maturity between his age and your age is outstanding! I mean it. I never understood until at 35 I had to take a job that usually only 20 year olds took and I was FLOORED, I mean FLOORED, by the absolute ridiculousness of the people I worked with. They were not bad people in anyway just regular 20 year olds. But our experiences in life were so so so vastly different. Not because none of them had experienced hardship, but because they hadn’t had 15 years to contemplate and grow from any hardships.
I was like mamma hen to them and just, the topics they wanted to discuss and their responses to events were… mind numbing in the context of having 20 years to examine the past repeatedly over those years.
The only reason someone with that kind of an age gap is interested is because they, themselves, are also immature. Which doesn’t sound devious at first, but when someone 15 years older is at the same maturity level they are broken in some way. They are incapable of the self reflection required for those years to inform them. For them to be able to reflect on their past and learn from it. And that is the key to me. It’s a signal that they are incapable of self reflection.
And that is DANGEROUS. That is why it is a red flag.
That brokenness cannot be fixed by anyone but themselves. Period. so don’t go down that road either. You cannot help them. You cannot save them.
Well, gotta hand it to him, he told you how he’s going to behave so you can predict his behavior. If I were you I’d be upfront with him too and tell him you’d rather date someone with integrity. No matter how much you think you like him or love him this is a bad pairing. You deserve someone better. Good luck OP.
And please OP, don’t be that girl who thinks she can change someone or think ‘he will never cheat on me’. It never works out. Please keep your dignity. No one can take that away from you unless you let them.
It may just have been a one-off. Still, it has all the appearance of some toxic control tactic. You're right to be wary.
Picture this. A hundred storm troopers all in red. With red flags and Darth Vader is in complete red. His death star all red. This guy will cheat and in his mind if you go forward he will because you will accept him banging other women while you have to be faithful.
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Yeah, lots of people equate “we won’t be living together anymore” with “we broke up”. Which is sad and unfortunate.
Well yes a lot of time we put our pets down when they are terminally ill or old with no quality of life, and just suffering in pain (which sounds to be the case with the dog in question here). Frankly we should grant the same level of humanity to, well, humans too.
Except she was having difficult conversations with him!
ALSO! OP was the one doing the shutting down!
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It’d be much more emotionally healthy for you two to separate than stay together. Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life pretending everything is the same, and that she never betrayed you?
Your kids aren’t going to thrive with two parents who hate each other, but stayed “for the kids”. Kids aren’t stupid, they will see and feel it. She was the one who destroyed the family, not you.
It’s gonna be very hot, but you know what you have to do.
You sound petty and childish. Cut someone from work? That's not happening.
The OP is insecure and this clearly has been an ongoing thing by her own words. People in relationships are allowed friends and co-workers.
The co-worker should take a hint if they are interested plus you and OP need to learn about the basics of relationships *cough cough, trust*.
Dont feel bad grieving people can do weird things I hope you can find some help in these hot times.
Right!
“I'm in a rough patch in my marriage, should I go behind my wife's back and do something she'll be pissed about when she finds out that will probably lead to divorce? I just can't possibly figure out if I should do this!” – OP probably.
Question, is she financially supporting you while you are going to school?
Have you tried to stop being a sociopath?
Instagram dms have this feature where you can turn on ‘incognito mode’ that doesn’t save any messages jsyk because how does he know Sydney would like something without having had a deep discussion??
I have arguing with different people for over a week now about “grooming”. I’ve had it. Its like every goddamn spring/fall romance is now “grooming”.
Its started like it should where an older person in some authority/power position actually grooms someone underage and anymore if someone is 22/32 it’s grooming. Or 48/29. Whatever.
I just got into a heated exchange where this lady started off correctly calling a 27 yo teacher a groomer of a 17yo student. Then, when challenged, it was any age “not old enough to have experience” with some older. This 48yo woman is married to a 60+ man so I was like “He groomed” you.
But it didn’t count because they had both lived independent lives, had all these experiences blah blah.
Its been said before but when everything is rape or everything is grooming, it devalues those words and only hurts people who have actually suffered those experiences. I’ve watched this degradation of these things and others on Reddit forums for years because the minute someone says “Hol’ up…that’s not right” they get pummeled.
Observationally, on those two topics, it seems to be primarily women jumping on people and every time they flippantly defend wrongful uses of those terms, it hurts other women the most.
I wish, as a guy, I wasn’t constantly having to “mansplain” this shit. I have enough of doing that with towards other dumbass men on certain issues. The problem is that I’ve seen women say what I’m saying now. I’ve read in horror as I watched them get ripped to shreds…by both men and other women.
So from time to time, I’ll jump on a comment like this to just say what needs said by way more people and the benefit by me doing it is idgaf. I will shred on anyone that comes at me with bullshit. I do it irl and I’ve been doing it on Reddit for a decade.
I’ve had to get corrected at times and I’m not above that but when people do that sort of shit, Im not gonna hold back.
Why because you're easy to manipulate. He did it because he could. The bigger question is why do you care what a known liar is thinking? A liar is irrational by default. That's like asking a drug addict why they stole your purse.
He's 35 years old and he's screaming and punching walls? That is absolutely disgusting. You need to leave him before he starts punching you, because that is next. That is in your future if you stay with him
Didn’t read but shouldn’t he be the one looking for help?!? Like seriously, why is your ex NC with you and vice versa?
If you have to test a person, they aren't worth it. Run.
She can just decide this for you. You DO NOT have to move in with her. You can still do this once she can provide 50% of the living costs
And then she will divorce you, get half of your money (maybe more) and what will you be left with? It’s very hot to believe you can’t see what’s happening here.
She wants a man servant
You sound like a hater. My mom's one. I've never known her to be happy. At least you question why you feel that feeling.
He's not pro choice if he thinks he has any right at all to decide the rules for any livestock oops I mean women.
I’m not sure why you really want to be with someone who thinks so poorly of you.
OP, I used to be like you. Going after the older men because they were the ones that gave me the attention. The ones close to your age may be too shy to make a move. For some reason, men like your dipshit new boyfriend have more confidence to go after the early 20s women because it's easy to prey on women with low self-esteem.
Your post itself gives me low self-esteem vibes, and that is what he preys on with you.
This!
You need to run from her
Dump her block her..
She is trying to baby trap you. Sadly shes not realizing getting pregnant early your both traped .
No traveling or getting to experience things your dream about because your taking care of a baby. Then a toddler and struggling to cover diapers.
Dump her and run..
Also photo the conversation so if she is you can show a lawyer she did it to trap you.
Demand a dna test to if she turns up preg
I don’t think women OR men should do anything they don’t want to. Maybe he would be good with spermicide. He never said he wants a vasectomy. So I’m just saying, he doesn’t have to have one.
You posted this already. Did you not like the answers?
Then like I said, don't bother, she wants more than you can give, unless the two of you are capable of meeting and having an honest discussion about expectations, and what would work, you'll end up frustrated and she'll end up angry. Neither of you will be happy
Bisexual girl here, yes, she is homophobic. But you don't have to be LGBT to see that she very clearly is. Having a gay friend who doesn't think she is doesn't make her not homophobic. It's the same as using the N-word and then using the “I have a black friend” excuse.
How is a fictional story too relatable for you to now be scared of your own gf? It’s fine if you don’t like horror and she does, to each their own, but you might be taking this a bit too far in your own head if you’re actually considering moving out.
It’s sounds like she went to the wrong type of Doctor- I’d try a mental health psychologist. Sounds like severe anxiety or panic attacks.
Not to mention if she gets pregnant. Then he is tied to this woman for at least 18 more years.
Leave your current relationship bc no one deserves to be cheated on and you are already emotional cheating on them.
And when your childhood love breaks your heart again, leave your soon to be ex alone
OP as a father the best descriptive word for a child is parasite, they will drain everything from you, energy and especially money if she chooses not to breast feed then formula all by itself can feel like it’s putting you into debt then you have diapers which they can burn through in no time at all you need clothes wipes and not to mention all the things you need before they are born like a crib, changing table, car seat just those 3 items Can cost you about 800 dollars if not more
? this!! I found out stuff I didn't even need to no…. no stone left unturned.
I am in the other camp, I wouldn’t say the relationship is doomed per se but that each party needs to communicate their needs, both sides will need to realize getting to a better sexual functioning WILL REQUIRE WORK AND EFFORT
What’s done is done either way. Maybe the name has just as special of a meaning to OP as well. More than one person can have a heart felt reason for a name. It’s trivial to brow beat and argue with a pregnant friend over it and indecent to be refusing to say the babies name.