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Birth Date: 1994-05-24
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Why the hell would you want to be with someone like this ?!? Trust me. You can find better
She hasn’t even taken it out of my hands yet lol she couldn’t have read it unless she has gone in my notes and seen the drafts on my phone which she wouldn’t have done lol she is genuinely just absent minded and her attention span isn’t the longest
She doesn't want to be the other woman in that sense, she knows what boundaries should be in play, I'm the one flouting them if anyone is
OP, she's an adult, and she ACTIVELY decides to be the other woman, which is quite telling about her character as well.
She's told me she knows she'll always love me no matter who she's with or what my choice is.
Aren't you a bit too old for this Disney crap? You have zero clue if you'd actually have REAL feelings if you were both single and dating each other. You're engaging in an affair, which is overly exciting because it's forbidden. You have zero clue how you'd both feel like if you'd have to take on day-to-day life, you have zero clue how you'd feel after 5+ years of actual dating and living together.
As for coming clean, I definitely will, I just can't do it during the holidays. M
The longer you wait, the worse it gets. How do you think your wife will feel once she knows that you've kept this for X additional months? Time she would have had to figure out what she wants?
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Good. ❤️
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It's not just the front either. I'm a man, so take this with a grain of salt, but I am much more worried about the back door than the front
Because it would be awkward.
The horror.
Yes we’ve never met, several video calls though. I somewhat agree with you, I think I’ve been building him up in my head and I try to make him act like I want him to and then he doesn’t and I get disappointed. I’ve been in and out of brief relationships in real life so I think it has something to do with that
The unfaithful partner to open relationship pipeline is real. LOTS of couples try to rationalize opening their relationship up once one of them cheats. If it's not the cheater, it's the “victim” (for lack of a better term) because they're trying to convince themselves that their only problem with the initial infidelity is the lack of communication. It softens the blow if you can make it feel like no big deal to yourself.
The fact that you've slept with more people than he has but are still insecure about who he's talking to proves that you're really not okay with him sleeping with other people, you're more-so looking to “get even” with him, that still didn't make you feel better. This can also be determined by your post history. The fact that you're upset that he exchanged nudes with a woman on Snapchat yet you post nudes for anyone to see tells me that it's the lack of control over him that bothered you, not the exchange of illicit photos itself.
Truly not faulting you. But I would have left him back when he committed the infidelity in the first place, this is just masochism.
How attached are you to THAT house?
Assuming all things are equal – you can sell for a fair price, etc., etc. – would you consider buying in an area that's a compromise? Somewhere she doesn't have an hour commute, but you also love? The compromise might be that it's only in your name, so if it doesn't work out, she leaves. You'll remain intact.
That's the emotional part, but…
One thing you don't mention is the housing market where you are, or if you could sell it and make any kind of profit, or if you could rent it reasonably for a profit.
I mean, moving in with her in the city might be all well and good, but not if you're going to lose money on the deal.
I understand that you have the house, but maybe there is a way possible to compromise, and you move into a place that's yours together, and not your current place or her current place.
Ah thank you SO much, you have no idea how much this comment means to me ?? i really appreciate your mindset and it’s everything I needed to hear
You know, I will go to the event first (pretend you don't know anything; sometimes it's good to play stupid), and you need to observe their interaction. And don't involve his guy friend; this is your business with your boyfriend.
He's hiding his chat with her because he's hiding something; does that make sense?
Good Luck.
Replace every “she” with “he,” because you're insecure for no reason.
Thank you for helping me see this a little more clearly, even if it's very painful. He's been telling me this whole time that I'm not doing enough to support him and giving these ultimatums, like, if I argue with him once in 2023 he's canceling the wedding, or if I criticize him or raise my voice or whatever. He makes me feel like I'm unreasonable for expecting him to participate in our joint life and support the plans and promises he's made. I don't really have many friends to talk to, I feel humiliated about it all.
It is wild how badly you’re playing the victim here
Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it. I will definitely have a conversation with him and hopefully something changes. This is the only thing I’ve ever had an issue with so of course I want to try and go about it the right way thank you again
At this point it's indefinite. We planned to move back together at one point, but no sooner than a couple of years. It really depends on our jobs, plus I will probably move abroad sometime in the future and I'm not sure if he will be able to follow me.
I think you should leave him alone honestly.
Don't tell him anything. Because frankly, it's been a year and it sounds like complete bullshit to me.
Just shut up already
It was two months. We don’t know if it was two months of knowing eachother or two months official, either way….
You may have posted this before he clarified, but he said they were exclusive at that point.
So it wasn't the “dating grey area” like we see here every day, it was straight up cheating.
Is there something else going on that’s bothering your wife? She sounds upset at life in general and is taking it out on you. Is she blaming you for anything?
Have you tried therapy? You need to discuss healthy conflict resolution skills.
If she won’t talk or won’t agree to therapy, then you’ll need to have the blunt talk about divorcing her. That might get through to her that this is serious.
Your boyfriend is misogynistic and gross.
How did this come up? Did she ask to go?
She broke up with you so you should move on. Respect her decision of not wanting to be with you. Also, she did not randomly block you on any social media. She made the choose to do so,
Looks arent everything. Good 4 them but if it doesnt work out can be very awkward. Best to switch jobs first.
I didn’t know guys don’t always like being someone’s first. That’s interesting. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend at 21. He had had partners before me and didn’t make a big deal out of the fact I was a virgin. He’d never been with a virgin before, so I would think that would have made him even more hesitant. Granted, we dated online, long distance without meeting for about 11 months, so maybe that made him more of an outlier in the situation. I was very clear about my sexual past (erm… lack there of…) and he was very much willing to go at my pace, which I explicitly warned him would likely be very slow. That didn’t freak him out and he was very understanding. Man moved states for me knowing good and well I might not put out for a good long while due to a lot of OCD and insecurities (luckily for the both of us his attitude and my love for him made the process very quick and easy). Guess I really caught a good one.
You need to break up with him. Fuck that.
If you can't keep up with her texting game, she's too young for you, bro!
Oh I'm definitely not uninviting him or taking any external action whatsoever. More so just trying to deal with my own internal overreaction yknow?
I was thinking about the negative impact of the child. I want to be in both their lives, I love him and i don’t want him to think otherwise
This is quite kind of you, but I would give it at least another month before considering this.
So he basically wants your friend out of your life because she was worried about you? Please open your eyes and see how wrong that is. The no overnight trips without him is odd, but I get it somehow, I think my bf would be worried about me too, but he wouldn't even try to stop me. Everything beyond that is wrong.
Why would you even try to defend staying with someone who treats you like this? It’s so obvious. Keep the baby but don’t keep him. Or give it up for adoption and don’t keep him.
You just completely discredited yourself as a serious person. I'm sorry. I'll consider this convo complete.
You’re a rebound. Cut ties.
Never.
What really bothers me is her wording
So leave??? Why do people feel it’s so hot to leave- we can leave him for you. ?♂️
Why wouldn't I replace a cracked vase? I mean, if it typically holds water it's now compromised and if it's a decorative piece, it no longer serves it's intended purpose as people typically want their art to be in good condition.