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I agree and I do actively do that. I also shut down any inference that is not the case.
What are your actual plans for the city? What is it you want to do there?
All the top comments will tell you to go but I'll say nothing in life is guaranteed and there's no guarantee you'll find a relationship like the one you have again
I think it's worth looking at what you want long term, if it's a career then the city makes sense but if it's a family then the bf makes sense
I'm going to bring up these points with him later.
I'm not worried about him trying to flirt with this girl or something. I trust him about that and am pretty sure he won't try to hit on other people.
But he can be very childish, callous and unfiltered about all kinds of human interactions. Often it makes him come across as good-humored, easygoing and honest, but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But then I worry maybe I'm the one who's too uptight and anti-social.
If I ask him to be not callous, he tends to completely shut down and be like “now I don't know what to say at all”. I find that really frustrating.
Doesn’t work that way. ?
I saw this in another thread but I liked it so it’s mine now:
Another Redditor said their grandma had a saying: “first babies can show up at any time, but second babies always take 9 months.”
My ex would call me abusive for asking a question, I think he's just the other side of the coin.
Do you really want to stay with a borderline sentient potato with an inferiority complex?
Yes you are right it should be a shared decision. Our kids are 7 and 3
This is one of the times I wish I could offer advice in person, mostly so I could give your boyfriend a vigorous beating with a nerf bat while yelling “Sex is not a transaction or a contest, you ignorant sack of frog excrement!”
Do you have any friends who are creative with insults and own nerf bats? Could you possibly make friends who answer to that description?
It immediately made me feel like I did the wrong thing and regret my decision. I think that was the point though. It’s been rough mulling it over so I’m glad I posted here.
wives are not fleshlights !
mm yes i was afraid of this?
People that are paranoid of being cheated on or abandoned learn to play a game.
They take a baseless swing at you. Either you immediately try to console them, which obviously they like. Or you get defensive and they get to start projecting. And they can repeat this game over and over and over again, because if and when you get tired of it and leave they will say 'see, I knew something was up' and retroactively vindicate their toxicity in their own minds.
In the end you have to ask yourself: do you want to be in a relationship with a guy that has so little trust in you? Is this really the future you planned out for yourself? Because while it is only the second time I am sure you get the sense it will become a pattern at this rate, especially given the absurdly weak grounds he has brought up concerns for so far.
This quite literally reads like a horror movie to me.
This isn’t normal, at all. And it’s very clear this isn’t what you want.
If you’re scared to make an exit plan, call a domestic abuse hotline – they can help!
I don’t know what waifu is but now I must find out
I don’t agree with giving him a heads up, he could work out all sorts of excuses and not give all the details with all the extra time he has to get his story in line. Just tell her with some screenshots as evidence and let her decide how to handle her husband.
Have you ever bought him flowers?
You are being an idiot.
Call the police FIRST. Block his number and ask for a restraining order. The moment he makes a threat towards you is the moment all regular communication should stop.
Letting him come over to your house like this is how women get murdered.
Not even a child should be taught to rampage and boss their parents around as they please.
Yuck. Stay broken up! He is not anyone’s cup of tea and needs to work on himself.
If he is lying to you about where he is, and sending an obviously fake pic- I cant imagine this relationship lasting much longer. I would move on. I know its a hard thing to hear, and its not so easy to do- but clearly there is something weird going on and its not worth the drama.