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NOT LEGAL ADVICE
Also I would very much avoid using the words like guilt and sorry. Anything that implies your culpability may put you in a weaker legal position. You may remember things differently but you didn't mean harm. Remember your Miranda rights, everything you say can be twisted against you in a court of law. NOT LEGAL ADVICE
I would say “Joe, I appreciate being included in your family Christmas. However, I didn’t realize the cost of things and I need to bow out. I wish you all a lovely holiday.” If he doesn’t step up to pay for you, then dump him.
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Came here to say this.
Then why did you seek a doctors opinion at all if you didn't think something could be wrong.
I did not seek a doctor opinion about my aromantism. But if you talk to your psychiatrists and psychologists for a long time, this topic comes up. Nobody had found anything wrong with that and we moved on to the real issue.
I'll chalk this up to your social skills (no offense) but the comment came across as sarcastic and offended, so I replied in kind. I'm not angry, I react accordingly to how others reply.
I was not being sarcastic or offended
I'll reread the post, as the first time I read that, I don't believe I saw that.
She mentions is in the comments.
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Dude, I dated someone whose last name was “Crapper.” If you don't trust someone enough to reveal your last name to them after MONTHS of dating, that's pathological at that point.
That’s very strange. Your legal identity isn’t really a surprise.. it’s who you are
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You’re now the age he was when you met. Would you want to date a 13 year old?
Your an awful person.
Well, that's certainly something, but it's not what he says it is. Clean break.
Boyfriend seems more knowledgeable with a better memory and vocabulary than OP. I’d be shocked if a middle school male friend group exists that didn’t throw around the word douche at least once and as many vagina/vulva/penis jokes as they could.
Fucking break up already
even still, why would he use your ssn? that’s really messed up like that’s an actual crime. he can’t be 40 years old without a basic understanding that you can’t use other people’s information like that – especially behind their back.
Just get the divorce and go be happy!!
You know what to do. Break up with him and go be youthful and free. If you don’t, you won’t get to have these experiences you want and that’s not fair or right. Please don’t spend your 20’s with someone old enough to be your dad.
I say this with kindness, you are not “mature for your age” and whatever other nonsense he has told you.
In time you will understand that your boyfriend is a creep. 37 and 18 ?
for your own good do not get involved with this person, mate. you barely know her nor the extent of her mental health problems. i'm telling you this for free, speaking as someone who seriously attempted suicide 6 times last year, bridges and everything. she needs to get well without you and she surely should not be dating as a suicidal person.
Sounds restrictive. That marriage won't last long.
It’s likely that it’s the drinking and the pot tbh. I really think that getting cross faded has put a damper on my libido among other things. It probably is a mix of all the things he listed. I wouldn’t know in your friend’s specific instance but it could be worth a doctors visit if things were fine before and now they are not, it could be more than just stress and maybe even an underlying medical issue.
Who are you to tell this person what they experienced?
You're pretty comfy with excusing sexual assault. I might make a few assumptions about the things you have done without consent and excused yourself for.
… I fully agree that assault is assault, whether or not it’s reported. People are only questioning the validity of the story because it’s a Reddit post – and before you do the gender swap thing again, I have seen people question women’s rape claims on this sub because of the way the post is written. Unfortunately troll posts exist, and some people have no problem inventing SA stories that never happened, which is disgusting and should never happen, but this is Reddit.
I think what the commenter was more getting at, is that it should be reported not because a police report is the only thing that would legitimise their assault but because there’s a very real chance that there is sex trafficking going on here, and I personally think he has a moral duty to try and help those vulnerable women now that he knows (/suspects) it’s happening.
But, to my original point, none of what they said was victim blaming anyway. I think you’re getting very hot headed about slightly the wrong thing here. Right energy, wrong target.
Yikes my dude
And everyone is assuming she was crying b/c she was sad. She could be pissed. I cry when I am angry, or experience any intense feeling. And, yeah, being upset in some way doesn't mean she isn't over her ex. She needs to dump you after your reaction.
I wonder if the situation was reverse if that whole “your money is my money and my money is your money” would fly with her
Only thing is that my boobs touched him and we are very hot
It’s YOUR dog. Time to learn how to train YOUR dog….
It's 100% insecurity. He believes his worth is based on his intelligence, and yet he can't learn anything because not knowing things makes him feel worthless. It's such a strange self-sabotaging cycle.
lmao you cheated and he can’t take it so he’s getting out deal with it
Is he gay
i think your parents understand completely and have shown that they simply don't want to change their behaviour. other than sticking to your guns and not going unless your partner is also invited, you could also go low contact (or even no contact). i don't know how committed you are to that, but it seems to me you need to express the message that icing out your partner is damaging to you, that unless they accept all parts of your life, they won't have a relationship with you any more. maybe it'll change their behaviour. maybe it'll end up with them out of your life completely. i'm just an outsider here, but it seems like you might be better off if they won't accept you, and even if they reject you right outright right away, maybe they'll reach out at some point.
good luck OP. sorry you're in this situation, but you have done nothing wrong.
A lot of people seem to be missing that relationships aren't always 50-50. Sometimes it is 90-10 on my part when my wife is not feeling well or buried with work. But I know that when I'm in the same situation she has my back.
Tell him the obvious division of labor is that one partner buys the food, the other cooks. So if you buy the food now, he has to cook.
And if you are both working now, you need a division of labor for household chores, since one person working and doing all the chores is unfair.
But overall, your husband sounds very controlling, and like he swept you off your feet with lovebombing to lock you into marriage, and now he wants to isolate you from your friends and hobbies, and make you financially dependent on him, before the real abuse starts. I know this sounds very cliché, but it's a cliché for a reason.
You don't love your boyfriend, people don't hurt the ones they love and they don't choose to stay drinking knowing they abuse them
Get out now
He has a family doctor that’s the same one he’s been with since growing up, and the doctor isn’t really much help.
Doesn't that strongly suggest he should see a new doctor? If this one hasn't cracked it in two decades, they probably won't ever.
Have you seriously considered the possibility that he is manipulating you? Start going out without him. If you have plans and he cancels last minute, go anyway. It would be interesting to see if he is suddenly able to join you. Regardless, you'll be able to get out and have some fun no matter what he does!
Even if this works out and he isn't a predator or an abuser I'd advise against it. When you're his age he'll be 50. When you're 50 he'll be retired. When you're retired he will probably be dead.
Why are you trying to “move a relationship forward” with a girl you don't even like?
Just break up.
Give it time OP. It's fresh, it's super shitty, and it fucking hurts.
In time you'll process it, you'll be angry, you'll harden up a bit from such a shitty deed done to you, and you'll pull through fine.
Sorry for what you're going through, but dude, you're 23. You have plenty of time to move on and find someone amazing.
I can find just not ready to unpack things from my life. I know I was operating from a place of fear and rejection sensitivity due to my previous toxic relationship but how was I supposed to be direct with my like for him when social media says to do the exact opposite as a woman. Sigh operating from a place of fear
You should definitely make it as clear as possible how uncomfortable she makes you, as well as how bringing up your past love life as “evidence” makes you feel. It seems like she likely is interested in you, and is trying to sway you, but that's still not okay. You can't change someone's sexuality. If she is a good friend, she should stop once she realizes how she's making you feel.
Sidenote, I'm sorry you haven't been in any relationships yet, it sometimes takes a while. Best of luck with boys in the future.
Obviously it's silly, but it's not a betrayal.
It’s tough, it really is. And I’m wondering if there’s a way where you can break up the routine a bit without drawing attention to it.
Maybe the next time you describe something, ask an open ended question and see if that doesn’t lead to something. If you’re describing what she’s wearing, ask how she feels in it. If you describe the restaurant, ask why kinds of foods she’d be interested in.
I’m just spitballing here, but maybe that could help.
Who’s saying you can always make sex work? I don’t understand the connection between your comment and mine.