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You can always make more friends. If your bf treats you well and you know he’s a solid guy I’d say your making a good call.
I’m going to offer you some advice. Have her use DHEA cream on her clit, and try using a vibrator. I’ve never experienced the situation you described, because for example, if I came, my bf would then “get in me”. I wouldn’t say what can I do for you? like your wife did.
I don’t get these unequal sexual relations that I read about on this subreddit. I don’t have any more suggestions other than to say that sometimes people do grow apart after many years, and it’s ok to consider moving on if that’s best for you.
It's not black and white or obvious but yes there's more to the story. What was obvious was that I wouldn't worry about what someone else felt if i knew they were fine and didn't care. What was obvious was that your answer was coming from a misandrist/feminine lense where before logic comes “He's a man so this is about his insecurities, I bet the other guy doesn't even even care” vs He's putting himself in someone else's shoes and trying to figure out if something is wrong here. And I'm not enjoying it, hence why I asked for advice in the first place because at first that's all it really was. A kinda “what should I do?” situation and now it's calling me all the time. But because it was a “Grey” situation, and I myself tend to look to deeply into things, is why I asked for insight. And it was to confirm if this was some form of “emotional cheating” which I do appreciate you confirming. And no I'm not in love with her nor was I ever in love with her hence why we broke up years ago. But I'm also tired of looking like the bad guy so I didn't want to ghost without first confirming what was happening. So thank you for your help, in the long run I got what I needed but next time try to look at things from both sides and don't just condemn the man because he's a “Man”, especially when he's trying to do the right thing because in reality I shouldn't care. I don't know him and nothing that happens to them would affect me in anyway so why should I worry about it? But then I'd be one of the guys you instantly assumed I was 😉
OP you should pay attention to this response. I also had to go NC with my father. Pressure from my siblings meant I had to go NC with them as well.
Your father isn’t interested in a relationship with your sister. He’s interested in his grandchild. That’s not the same thing. She’s unlikely to let him back in to her life and you’ll risk your relationship with her if you push it.
You write your post as if this is your sister’s doing. It’s not. Your father is in this location because he put himself there. He could apologize. He could admit that he was wrong and recommend therapy, he could do any number of things. His choice is to try to bully others into bullying her to give him what he wants. No one goes NC for no reason. It’s likely your sister never wanted to join the military to begin with.
“I just have a sinking feeling I’m not making the cut”
“I don’t want to discuss this prior to the wedding”
Stop overthinking and playing a victim, you have no idea if you'll be invited or not. Chill
Wow
Omg
Get a lawyer right now and stop dating this person
Get a lawyer
Right now
Thank you. Yes he does I don’t get it either I think it’s more of a pleaser mentality with my counsellor I don’t know.
My mind at least at this point will not move on. I imagine over time it will but I can explain how tormenting it is not knowing
As I said in my other comment, the context is necessary here. Without context, you’re going to get bad advice. So yes, actually, when people ask for more info on the situation, you should provide those.
It’s not rude to tell someone they would benefit from therapy. You would benefit from therapy. A man who lives in a different country, who you haven’t spoken to in four years called you up out of the blue, proposed to you, and you’re seriously considering it despite already being in a relationship, knowing nothing about this man’s life for the past 4 years, because you “feel old already” being unmarried at 34. You have basically no self esteem, seem to not be able to consider long term consequences of very serious, life-altering decisions, and are in no way, shape, or form, ready to marry anybody right now. Please, get some therapy.
Unpopular opinion: this depends on the relationship between your wife and mom.
Is your mom overly critical of her? Does she often cross boundaries and expect you to bend to them? Does your mother respect your wife and yourself? Someone can do something nice (ei, bring groceries) but be rude and manipulative the rest of the time. The world is not black and white.
I'm not asking this for my own information; these are things you have to be able to answer regarding their relationship. Know you might not be aware of everything. There are a surprising amount of people who have a blind spot for their parents and spouse relationship.
If there are no issues; then a gentle conversation about your wife's anxiety would be a good idea. That you have no problem with her wanting to come in, but a heads up to make sure everyone is presentable would be appreciated. As long as she's happy hanging out in a heated car, I see no reason to change that and insist she comes in every time. On your shoes, I would confirm she's okay with that.
If there are issues, then you need to be more firm. Do not go over your wife's anxiety in this case (as anyone at odds with your wife will use this vulnerability against her). Be clear and let there be no misunderstanding: you appreciate the food, but she cannot let herself in when dropping them off. She is welcome to wait in her warm car or to ask. Not invite herself.
I've spent a lot of time with toxic people in my life, some of them are so underhanded and sneaky about it. They are so nice to the people they like, but are awful to the people they don't… It has given me a different perspective than some; I see the world in a lot of gray rather than black/white.
I hope everything works out for you.
It's one thing to be upset with someone, it's another to completely destroy them. Negative reviews on the internet last forever,
As you said, she acted completely professionally. There is no reason for this. I would think twice about the relationship too.
I love getting pissed on…it's such a turn on for me…obviously you don't…turns on and turns off should be discussed as soon as you become intimate with someone…there seems to be a lack of communication in your relationship. I think you acted too harsh…if you should of told him to stop at the first drop and not let him finish to soak up the sheets and bed. You shouldn't make him feel bad for things that happen in the bedroom, especially with him dealing with SA.
How do I deal with it without showing her my insecurity and neediness?
By talking it through with other people, as you are doing here. When you're new to relationships insecurity is normal. But excessively unloading that on your partner will not go well for you as you seem to understand, haha.
If things keep going well with her you will grow your trust in her and you'll start to feel more secure. It's also good to remember, there's nothing you can do besides being a good/friendly/thoughtful partner to her. You do not control when or if that trust will develop, so just trust the process and hope you get there! Do not project your insecurity on her, it will not help anything, in fact it could very much hinder the very thing you are trying to work toward.
So let me get this straight, you've got an issue with roommates.
Your boyfriend wants to try and be civil which would make sense.
You create a scene and a problem at his birthday party, and now you feel like you have the right to be pissed?
Grow the fuck up
Indeed but one can understandably have a mildly bad reaction when peed on out of the blue.
There are over a billion people in the world. Your perfect partner isn’t out there. You pick someone and you make it work. Why pick the one who has a porn addiction and needs to jack off at work?
I was going to comment this. If you have resentment now, magnify it by 10 in a few years!! If you stay together long enough it could/will turn into hatred.
Why would you want to continue being with someone that you feel cheated on you and treat you like he did?
100% lying. Things like this happen all the time and the end is result is ALWAYS things going back to how it once was
No why would I make that up?
Cause he got a girlfriend.
Well what can I say other than that is a perspective we do not share. If we don't think of it in terms of the vacation time granted to us by our corporate overlords, two weeks out of a year or even a lifetime is a drop in the bucket. Literally next week I am leaving on an almost two week trip to Ireland which I have wanted to do since I was 10 years old, and I chose to go alone because my partner and I have different travel styles and I also consider this kind of a spiritual pilgrimage, if you will. He's completely fine with it. And a couple years ago he spent two weeks in his home country just exploring and reminiscing, and I just did my thing at home. Now it's true that we don't have kids but if we did, they'd just come with or stay with one parent. My mom traveled when I was a kid and it has had zero negative impact on my life. I just got to do a lot of fun things with my dad while she was away. As long as everyone is being responsible this should really be normalized.
I don't know why you would worry about the status of your marriage if your wife wanted to see a bit more of the world and discover more about herself. Going to Europe and also traveling solo last year completely changed my perspective on a lot of things and has made me a better person, and I would think given the opportunity you would want that for your wife as well.
Yes but the only evidence she had was on Snapchat and that’s gone now.
Taking a pic of the screen with her BFs phone.
You're plan b because you are stable. Don't worry about her going anywhere. You leave. You make yourself a priority.
In a lot of ways she was given many opportunities she wouldn't have had otherwise. However there was no expectation from either person to provide it. Income differentials play out that way. It's very hot to watch someone you love struggle while your relatively well off.
Now that she is starting her own business, I get to take time off 🙂
So your partner went on a group outing with his ex and her family? That you organized? Are you sure she's really an ex?
How…why…just…you're a huge asshole.
Comparing being trans to having aids is not the move
Such a lame excuse, you are typing out the answers, review what you write before you hit send.
Australian doctors also do 24 hour shifts. They have an on call room where they can rest if they're not needed, but they definitely do 24 hours
Women who don't want to be touched and find that men randomly touch them, especially near intimate areas, will cause a fuss.
This is only true for women that were not raised to feel line they need to make themselves small, to be nice, to feel like they OWE men attention, being nice and accepting their advantages.
He is mean to you? That means he likes you!
He hugs you, but you don't like it? Oh, don't be mean, he just wants to show you how much he likes you.
Give grandpa a kiss. No? But he is your grandpa! Don't be fussy.
Don't be a bitch. Don't be mean. Don't complain. Boys will be boys.
She may genuinely believe, that her feelings about the situation matter less than how other perceive them.
Uhm, why are you telling me? I'm neither from India nor OP.
Also, the girl didn't write here asking for advice, so naturally, we aren't giving her any. We are trying to help the OP who did write here asking for advice, and he doesn't want to marry a complete stranger he doesn't like or feel attracted to – which is quite understandable, I'd think.
We can't actually comment on the girl's character, qualities or weight, since we don't know her. I'm sure she has issues with her family, since a lot of Indian upbringing is just messed up – at least from what we get in documentaries (and the posts here on Reddit). But her issues are not OP's duty to solve – he doesn't really know her, is not related to her, and has no obligation or responsibility towards her.
I think you should post this question in r/landlords. I am sure they have some great advice. Who owns the property? Did anyone sign a lease? Is this a month to month rental or a one year lease?
I wasn’t responding to the issue with the embryos. They can work that out in court, and if he doesn’t want her to use them, she likely won’t be able to. I was responding to the comment stating she isn’t allowed to express to him feeling resentful about supporting him then him flipping the script.
Men in their 40s who are interested in 19 year olds are not great examples of middle aged men. If you don’t want to date 19 year olds that’s legit, but you’ve gone too far in the other direction. Early/mid twenties should be your sweet spot for now.
I think his actions showed a lack of consideration, but you are only together a few months officially and long distance. Sounds like you guys didn't discuss what boundaries you expect to show devotion in an exclusive relationship.
Dude. You created an entire subreddit about your issues with your sister. Half you post history is about your sister. You're obsessed with your sister. You're a grown man and your sister randomly sleeping with some dude years ago is ruining your life?
Get help and move on. Thus is ridiculous.
That last line fucking has me dead xD Love it.
All good ….
Tough discussing serious issues in a texting format….
The internet is really good for cat videos , everything else is difficult
Oh honey, leave him. You did absolutely nothing wrong. You lied about nothing because NOTHING HAPPENED. He violated your privacy and made you feel guilty for nothing. WTF is he “healing” from ? That you rejected a guy before you two started dating . This quy is not a keeper. He's a waste of time, sanity and self respect. If I was you I would make the decision for him. As in “You don't want to marry him AND do want to break up”
One sentence. She is toxic by nature. Break up. Not worth it.