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It also seems a little odd to be that he quit his job and school right after she landed a good job and has excuses for not seeking help and how he tells her that her buying anything he wants makes him happy
Oh, friend. He’s not just treating completely innocent and autonomous creatures without care or thought, but he’s actually denying and invalidating your feelings on the matter, manipulating you by getting angry that you have feelings on the matter, has essentially left you with the responsibility of taking care of the second cat he decided to get, and has completely disregarded your wishes and concerns when introducing them. I don’t know how loud we have to say it, but he does not respect you. At all. Like you said, you are both young. Being young means making mistakes. He’s one of them.
If you care that much about someone’s appearance, you don’t really love them.
First gf yes. But I have had multiple crushes. 1-2 hard crushes which lasted for years but i was open about it since starting yes
Why are you in a relationship? What do you get out of a relationship that you wouldn't get out of a friendship if you're not capable of romantic feelings
That’s not how Reddit works big guy
I think I’ve grown and changed a lot since those 2 weeks. The love that I have for her now is a lottt more than ever before and I want to show her that
Someone knows that she isn't the only one and is trying to tell you the same
Cloud it.
Be honest with her if you don't feel the need or comfortable with deleting the pics. Compromise archiving them in the cloud somewhere. Not on your phone or immediately accessible on other accessories.
Angle is that you just have them around for the memories sake not sitting there pining over the old pics daily lol just mean it when you say it. Really think about why you asked the question and have concerns about deleting the pics
This is a rule that varies from relationship to relationship. Both answers are right and you're just going to have to be open and honest with each other about boundaries
I'm going against the grain here of most of these posts. A few things though.
Info….did your wife really propose it or was she coerced a bit from you asking for sex all the time? How she proposed this solution to your circumstances matter.
I would sit down with your wife again and get in depth with the conversation. Is she sure she wants this arrangement? Tell her you have a potential partner and before moving forward you need her blessing. This doesn't mean telling her who it is and when you will be together. It means that she is fully understanding of the situation and what is going to happen on is ok with it.
You will need boundaries from her which may include locations and who you are with, for example, not having the person anywhere near your shared space and not being with close friends of both of you. Frequency could be an issue, she says she doesn't want to know, but women know….I'm guessing being with someone else 3 nights a week will probably not be a great idea to keep your marriage together. I hope it all works out for you.
If it's actually hidden you'll have trouble finding it. Factory reset and go through each app you install
OP deleted the comments after getting destroyed for this. But she was fucking 12.
Learn how to fight, fight the problem not eachother
True story, good point
I actually don't think you should bring it up at all. They know exactly what they are doing and if you ask about it, they will gaslight you and tell you that you're imagining it, are 'too sensitive' or some other bullshit.
Look at it this way, the last thing you want is to let people like this be close to you. So by showing you this side of them, they fired warning shots and raised the red flag and now you know to steer clear of them as much as possible. Do not buy into their bullshit. By that I mean, recognize that there is something amiss within them that is making them behave this way and they enjoy attempting to hurt you or bring you down so don't give them the satisfaction.
Be polite and cheery but do not start conversations or attempt to unless it's absolutely necessary. Wear headphones, when you're out of your room and stay out of the apartment or in your room as much as you possibly can. If they speak to you, respond cheerily, keep the conversation as short as possible. Always be civil and cheery with them. You just need to get through until the end of this term (I assume?) or the end of your lease and then you can move on.
If they try to confront you about you not trying to be friendly with them or something (which they almost certainly will. It's kind of the MO with girls like this. Bait you and then gaslight you and if you can't be baited, claim that you're the one causing problems. When they try this: “Oh gosh, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm always polite and civil with you” “Oh, I'm just so busy with my studies and I have some other things going on, I'm sure you understand” “Hmmm, I hadn't noticed to be honest. I'm really preoccupied these days. Anyway, I better get back to it!”
Married people can’t even hang out with people of the opposite sex?
if hes around he ends the conversation. but lately it feels like the father waits for an opening of when im alone.
I'd say no. That's not good enough for me. I'd break up.
It's not worth trying to dig deeper. It just gets you burned. He's given you every reason to wash your hands of this relationship. The impulsivity, thrill-seeking, living lavishly is all for himself. It's all quite self centered, and he's shown you that he has no interest in curbing any of those behaviors regardless of how you feel about them or how they may harm you now or in the future. Then you have the lying and deceit. It all comes down to a fundamental lack of respect. None of this will change. If you stay, and especially if you tie yourself to this person, they will drag you down with them. It's a long climb back out, speaking from experience. Get out now. If you want a family and children,this guy ain't the one to have that with. Leave now instead of wasting time. Look into the sunk cost fallacy if you're hesitating.
THIS!!!! Also OP, will there be any awkwardness about affection between you and your partner? For example, his brother may not be in a romantic relationship. He may not get that kind of physical love… will your partner start to feel guilty about this? As in, he might feel badly displaying affection and romance / sex in the apartment because his brother doesn’t have that opportunity? Of course I think the wheelchair bound man would want you two to be happy and enjoy life…. Butttt its possible to feel so much empathy and guilt for living full lives that we self-sabotage, avoid, or shrink our own joys in order to not feel badly about it being unfair to our siblings (I speak from experience)
It’s very unlikely you’ll be able to hire support workers in short notice — half the time my grandparents’ workers call in sick and there are no replacements for full days to multiple days. Short staffing for the massive societal demand is a huge issue. It’s very expensive to pay privately. You have to trust them and hope his brother feels comfortable and is treated well. This means no spontaneous trips, and likely having to cancel trips if workers become sick. It is very expensive for care. Who pays this?
What happens if the brother gets sick? Puking/diarrhea etc. It can be taxing to change bedding and/or bags / diapers in the best of times. This extra work will fall on you because your boyfriend can’t possible do it all solo. If your partner is out and you’re the only one home… are you happy to be a caretaker? You’ll need wheelchair accessible bathrooms and kitchens. Vehicle.
This could potentially become permanent. Is it sustainable having a baby to care for at the same time?
It sounds like you’re in for a very long and difficult road.
Road rage is such an impotent character trait.