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“”Comment Rule 2:** Keep it civil. No insults, no threats of violence, no encouraging violence, no harassment, no trolling, no advertising other subs, no spam. You will be banned. All bans in this sub are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
I never said it was fool proof. But there is no way they were using condoms properly if she got knocked up in a couple weeks.
Bruh stfu she has one body and that’s me
I have come to the conclusion that instagram, in many ways, is the Playboy of the current era. My dad used to read Playboy and even keep the magazines. My mother wasn’t bothered because she knew the difference between looking and acting. But at the same time, I’m sure that has she said she didn’t like it, he would have stopped.
Your problem isn’t that he is looking at these girls, but that you stated you dislike it, want him to stop and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t respect your feelings or boundaries.
So what you do now is decide if this is a dealbreaker for you, which it sounds like it is (and that’s okay). Do what you need to do to protect your mental and emotional health. There are plenty of guys out there who would be happy to respect those boundaries and feelings you have.
Honestly just tell her that you find her nose very attractive and you don’t want it to change
You sound like a side chick.
You should say exactly that.
If she is texting other men, she is NOT your best friend.
Once you've done a lot of googling it becomes clear that the name for this type of highly intense friendship is queerplatonic partnership, but that's a deep enough cut that I wonder if just using the language of being in a relationship isn't the more common way of addressing the situation.
This does sound concerning.
I would suggest sitting down with him again to let him know just how uncomfortable this whole situation is making you. That it would really help you wrap your head around their friendship if you could meet her.
If he is spending every Saturday with her and they are friends and they talk about their lives, then adding you into the mix shouldn’t make things weird or awkward. In fact, if they truly have a friendship going, then she should be happy to meet you. If she is really having a nude time because of a breakup then having another female for support would be a good thing.
If your husband is still unwilling to let you meet her, then I think you should let him know that his refusal is sets off alarm bells for you. If there is truly nothing to worry about he should want you to meet his friend. If keeping this friendship “private” from you is more important than your feelings, than how can he expect you to trust him, to trust this friendship, and to not worry about the state of your marriage.
Is this “helping” this woman more important than his wife and his marriage?
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We’re not insects, as Robert Heinlein pointed out. Every human should know how to do basic things for survival individually and as members of society. Why is your ability to earn money and pay for things your only measure of value that you add to your marriage?
thank you!
She did compromise, she took birth control that made her feel terrible and then birthed multiple kids… she also communicated with her partner about it, and he still refuses to.
If a woman’s body is at risk with another pregnancy, I don’t see why the male shouldn’t take the necessary steps to prevent it.
I agree that taking sex off the table isn’t good for relationships- but when it’s her life and body being messed with, it isn’t necessarily SEX off the table- it’s pregnancy. And it technically isn’t off the table, it’s on the table with a condom.
Question: are you paying his way? Like does he live! with you while you pay all the bills?
I don’t know if it will happen again as in being in a relationship….how do I prevent this from happening again? I would like both parties to be happy in the relationship but voicing it out doesn’t seem to resolve anything currently
Please don’t have a baby with this woman.
So you're saying I should be the one to approach her on this?
What of the dirty look she gave me in public in front of my friends???
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We have been together for only 5 years and she told me she wants to marry at 28 latest since she wants to have children at 30. She sent me pictures of engagement rings so I don't get them wrong and gave me her ring size. She even said she is happy to pick the ring after I propose to her.
Currently I feel pressured I think I am too young to marry. She is my first ever girlfriend and I love her. She is beautiful, smart and sexy. I feel like sometimes I don't even deserve her. But I am not ready to get married yet.
I was thinking of getting married in our mid-30s and I voiced that out, she said it's too far away and her fertility might fail since she has PCOS she is anxious about getting pregnant. Though we talked about this and she is open with adopting or no kids. She told me we might have a change of heart about kids in the future so she at least wants to secure the possibility since adopting is expensive.
In 2 years we will be 7 years in relationship and she told me that is enough time to know if we are ready to get married. She cried that if I don't want to marry then I shouldn't string her along. But I am not stringing her along, I want to marry her too but in the future, I am just not feeling it right now since my salary still isn't good for marriage although her salary is way higher than me.
I still think I am not ready though yes I don't know what will happen in 2 years… I just feel pressured and it turned me off.
Nude and cold! Toxic! Leave. Abuser alert. Also things starting up amazing is mostly due to him mirroring. You fell in love with you not him. I’m positive you are dealing with an abuser.
It sounds like a terrible communication based power struggle. Your husband says he wants to spend this money, you say no, we can't afford it, and he doesn't believe you and spends it anyway.
You and your husband are not budget partners. You do the work and he is ignorant. The power imbalances there is problematic. He's making decisions without information, which ends up undercutting your shared financial goals.
So. I advise monthly budget meetings where you both sit down and talk about your financial goals, how your budget meets them this month, where things could be important, where things are going well, and what decisions to be made. Your money situation currently does not act in partnership. You cannot be equals in financial decisions because, for whatever reason, he is not a full partner on your budget. Until your budget has a foundation of shared values and goals and both of you have shared knowledge, you're going to struggle with each other over money.
Why not just ask her? It could be completely innocent. She may have lost it and not know how to tell. Be keeping it in the safe at the hotel if she’s going somewhere potentially unsafe. She openly said she is on the phone with you so she’s not out there pretending to be single? I think if it was sinister she’d be more conscious of the ring not being in pictures?
Dude. She jumped into a relationship with you right after a breakup but never fully got over the old one because she took no time to grieve for it. Her line about just wanting to get a reaction is bullshit, and on some level you know it too. He blindsided her, and she probably wants another go-round “to show him what he’s missing.” It’s a very old tactic I’ve even used myself before.
The reality is, you asked her to stop chasing someone (who also told her to stop), she agreed, and didn’t. She didn’t respect your relationship boundaries. Then she got mad at you for him walking even further from her because she seems incapable of taking no for an answer. If she was a bit younger I’d say she was immature, but frankly she sounds rather crazy.
You’re a young man. You have plenty of time to find a good relationship, and this thing you’re in is NOT it.
I just want to say, betterhelp was a life saver for me. It was my only experience with therapy, and so I don't have anything to compare it to, but it was a lifeline in a dark place for me and certainly better than nothing. Good on you for taking the steps to help yourself out!
Your story is inspiring to me, because marriage isn't the whole “your life is over” boomer joke and neither is it all “sunshine and rainbows” either. It sounds like life has been hitting you guys nude, but its so awesome to hear how understanding she is. From what I've read it sounds like you guys are dealing with all these external factors and not taking care of the relationship itself. Refocusing your mental energy on one another and the relationship will likely take it to new heights!
At any rate, best of luck to you and your family. I hope life backs the fuck off for you guys for a bit =)
Right? I want to see the picture…
Plot twist: it's actually the gf because she wants to break up but doesnt want to do the breaking up or is testing his trust in her
The whole nofap thing is ridiculousness wrapped in toxicity. Why any mature adult would think there's anything to be gained from it is beyond me. Grow up.
All I’m gonna say is get your family outta your relationship asap before there isn’t a relationship to get out of
having a problem with alcohol and being an alcoholic are not interchangeable
You keep lying, that's why. Be upfront
Missed that bit out, something i have also put forward but has been meet with the same as above
10 year olds who are friends with benefits? Kids do grow up so fast nowadays.
You can't be friends immediately with the guy who just dumped you. And I do mean you personally. You don't have the stomach for it and it's really not good for your mental health. I would give it time before you even try to be friends again and it will take awhile to return, if it ever does – the friendship may be ruined completely.
As for getting over it, time. I had a really bad breakup six years ago which changed the trajectory of my entire life (mostly with choices I made), and it took years of being single and working on myself but it was worth it.
That I understood being insecure at the beginning of our relationship but that if 6 happy years together didn't vanquish her doubts, then nothing will.
Nothing you said is untrue, it was just delivered in a way that she likely will not receive. This is ultimately a insecurity she has and is being taken out on you. This is unfair and unsustainable. She needs help.
If she won't accept help, then this may be your warning sign to leave. It will destroy the relationship if it hasn't already.
Yea this. I always remember that Chris Watts repeatedly complained to investigators that his wife disrespected his mother – because his mother gave nuts to their nut-allergic toddler and that caused a fight (as it SHOULD).
I think mothers who encourage their sons to be violent is an under-explored area. I with with domestic violence survivors and they almost always seem to have a story about the guys mom 🙁
What the fuck? Erm… get out of there. Run.
Calm down dude, I'm on your side! And yes, “helped your friend cheat on her husband” is supposed to be a euphemism for fucking someone's wife. You're basically repeating my comment to me, what's the deal? I was trying to explain things in a calm manner to get my point across. Must have failed somewhere.
That’s effectively what my partner and I did, fortunately we have opposite chores we like/hate and we split the domestic load really well
Just block her then. When blocking someone on instagram you automatically block their email/phone number/Facebook connection, so they won’t be able to make a new account and stalk you, they will have to find a new way of registering an account. Then you block that one as well. At a certain point she will probably be sick of creating new email accounts to create profiles with. Enough hoops = too much hassle for her.
Can I send you a draft of my letter? Perhaps get some advice?
“We've already talked about this. Nothing good comes from you asking these questions so stop asking them.” If he insists on knowing the answers, ask him why. What does he gain by finding out?
This is true, but there had to be much more discussed within that friend group to enable that to happen.
A lot to unpack either way.