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Ya girl aint yo girl, that is a shame.
That works when the respect and support is mutual ? otherwise it's enabling
This is a Wendy's
You’re already 35, maybe you should just settle down. The dating pool sucks. He sounds nice enough and would you really rather be alone? You’ll regret it.
Sounds like he’s lost interest and/or he’s putting the interest towards someone else.
How could he change so much? By change you mean finding a healthy relationship and cutting toxic people out of his life?
nothing to add.
Weird as shit. But not just on her, he is too for letting it happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if you find out they were even closer than you think at some point in their life. I don’t think I’d keep dating that person honestly. Too weird for me.
Fuck this sub. “Walked in on my husband having sex with my second cousins daddy.” Red flag?
I have made a full reply elsewhere detailing it. I suggest finding out the deeper reason why he is on the phone, then take it from there
Can't really tell you if it's normal. Fool proof way to tell you if it's okay though.
Ask him if he feels like you have sex often enough. If the answer is some variation of yes, then it doesn't matter what's normal because it works for your relationship.
If the answer is some variation of no, then make some changes until the answer is yes. Then refer to previous paragraph.
Girl is you don’t leave that grandpa your history is sus.
people lookin in thier partners phones is just asking for it…I hope you can get past this..
Definitely take a step back, realize you’re not a professional, and don’t say anything. Dude sounds like he’s a normal guy doing normal guy things.
I have an ex that said we weren’t friends, just boyfriend/girlfriend. Think it made it a lot easier for him to cheat on me since he didn’t consider me a “friend”
ruminate on all your unhappy memories.
My divorce has been finalized more than a year when we met. I was I thought ready to date and was traveling across the country taking the first sabbatical from work since opening businesses, marriage as I met my ex in 1998, had finished raising my son who is captain of NCAA football team and has over 4.0 GPA, both parents passed as I took care of them financially last 15 years – I was asked to speak at a alumni assembly of a fraternity organization in the state in which my partner lived. I was there to see another man who was perfect on paper as I call it but did nothing for me physically. He and I parted ways and another developer (what I do professionally) offered me a home they didn’t use and I accepted as they have been family friends for a decade. I was just meeting people and enjoying myself – I am an athlete and thought when I met my partner at 42, he would not be mature enough to date but we could do extreme sports together – I am an adrenaline junkie. But the first meeting there may have as well been a fire there was so much chemistry. Which completely through me off balance. I had tried not to like him on that level but failed – buy you can’t fake chemistry and true desire. And then we just got closer and closer the more time we spent together the more respected him and his values and opinions. He is a great person, friend, father, son, uncle, manager to his staff and had an abundance of knowledge in Manhattan areas of business and is the funniest most interesting and intriguing man I have met – and I work in a man’s world and know a lot of men.
I randomly wash dishes my wife is supposed to wash, I fold the pile of clothes she just put on the bed, I brush her hair when she’s starting her period and the crazy starts to come out, I sweep while she’s cooking and I do all the outside work. You man needs to be more man and less man child. He ain’t living with his momma
Sounds like some of the same signs as sleep apnea. Good thing you brought it up haha
yea like i feel as if so many ppl are valuing his right to look at anime tits more than my right to not feel like i’m dating somebody who doesn’t respect women.
Your mil is an idiot. She going to regret giving it all to the daughter. I really hope it ends poorly the mil is in trouble.
Read your previous post. If he truely loved you he would put effort in bringing you to him or him to you. You can't blame money or the embassy. 13 years no reason in the world would keep me from SO. You really need to press the subject to him, he's stringing you along. My husband is from japan and I from the usa, been married 17 years….his excueses are not true.
The amount of people who weaponize SA is SO SMALL compared to the amount of people who have been, and haven't done a single thing to get justice.
I'm sorry, but you have no proof of the affair. All you know is that the ex bf said they broke up because she left after being confronted by some texts.
Do you even know if it's the truth? Do you know the dynamics of their relationship? Think about it, she works for that guy, so receiving messages from him it's not that weird and they could be friends (not uncommon either). The ex bf could be just jealous and she deciced that she was done with his insecurities and jealously.
You have as much as proof about the jealousy than you have about the cheating. None. Before you go berserker telling others about the supposed affair, stop and think about it. Thjnk for at least a week before doing anything and only then decide if it's prove enough to go to the wife. Remember that this can blow your marriage as well, since if this go south and affects your husbands business he can resent you.
Bro, it’s time for a new mattress. The things wear out. Start complaining about your back.
Thanks!
It could indeed be that she didn't know how to comfort you without making you feel like she thought you were weak.
Still, it is an issue to address. Unfortunately, you're gonna have other events in your life that will break your heart. You need a partner that you can rely on, or no partner at all. Because having a partner that you see you can't count on will drag you down even more
I’m so sorry, but yes, please cut your losses and leave. None of that sounds like it’ll be good for you if you stay. He’s got some issues he needs to figure out… on his own.
Lol. I am one of 3 siblings and we all have different eye colours. We are also very clearly siblings.
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There is nothing wrong with your skin color. Be proud of what you are.
Don't forget to say Goodbye.
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I think your BF was trying to downplay the despicable behaviour of your cousin. If it wasn't hormones that made her unable to control her emotions and lash out, what was it?
As I woman, I'd be offended to be lumped in with the likes of her. But I see why he would make a general sweeping comment in moment.
He does not owe her any apology!!
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I’ve been empathetic about this situation for over a year, and it really sucks to not feel physically attracted to your partner the majority of the time, shallow or not
Thanks for your response! It wasn’t really that, initially I was so heartbroken but accepted the break/up so was working on moving on
Do? What do you mean “do”? You go on with your life.
Probably not going to do that lol but I just like confirmation thanks
What should you do? Welp, looks like you are all set for some fun time. Get after it!
With such a toxic relationship why in the world did you have a kid? Did you think it would magically fix everything? You're a little late asking for advice, but if it's that toxic then separate and do shared custody. Don't raise your daughter a toxic home.
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That’s true.
Didn't you say he bought a rental property with his parents and is paying mortgage? So how are you debt free?
I don’t think he’s devastated that you had an orgasm before you met him. I say this as a 46 year old woman. I think he’s upset that he hasn’t made you have one yet in the 5 months you’ve been dating. His self esteem may have taken a hit. No man wants to hear he hasn’t truly pleased his partner. Just give him some reassurance.
So why wouldn't he mention that she's normally like this if this is a thing she regularly does? Is that not an important detail to help paint him as in the right?
He wasn’t at his mum’s, OP, he was with his other family.
I never said to “stalk” her. You came up with that on your own. Obviously it would need to be done in the correct way.
Or not at all. Are you ok entangling yourself with a married man? Are you ok being his AP, even if only emotional? He’s obviously not leaving his wife for you or anyone. Should consider having some self respect to know you are worth more than being a side piece.
Well that’s brave! Fm wasn’t expecting that
Lol the little 21-22 year old laughing ?. OK let's go with you sound hella immature complaining about your MIL waaahhhhh, you should've even have a MIL at your age first of all but I'm sure you are so mature for your age right and you have everything figured out lol. Check back in when you have at LEAST a decade under your judgemental belt. You are so insecure that you dropped a friend because of his gf lol. Experience would tell you, that if she was that bad, it wouldn't last between them anyways but that's right, you don't have said experience yet. And her lack of covering up was nude for you to get over and made you feel like you were in the presence of “porn” because she posts very hot pictures live! for all those dirty men to enjoy! I'm not a prude so you would hate me too anyways lol. Omg clutch your pearls harder and you are going to hurt yourself honey. So how long have you been married (not actually asking so no need to respond)? It's apparent you feel you have enough experience and knowledge to make a comment and sadly this is what I get? Extremely disappointing. Good luck with your life babygirl. And those inlaws. Seems like you are surrounded by people that don't like you. Unfortunate for you. XOXO
Me
Yes! It all does sound like what I have gone through. I was extremely lucky, and had a quick diagnosis. My gyno found cyst issues when I was 19, and needed immediate surgery. Fortunately, my gyno also specialized in micro surgery so it went so well. From then she already thought this was going to be an issue, so she was prepared when I complained of the symptoms.
I’m sorry it’s taken you so long to get a diagnosis. I hope now you can get some help. THC in gummy form helps a lot
Exactly! There doesn't need to be anybody in there. Forgotten items are left all the time.
I'm not saying the GF's reaction wasn't suspicious though. However I can see thinking it's weird to ask about it at all. If somebody found a pair of my undies mixed into their laundry, I would prefer they just throw them away rather than keep them and try to investigate where they came from or try to return them. I just don't want people spending so much time handling my underwear haha.
Also it's possible she just doesn't know where the underwear came from and OP was so sure it couldn't be the laundromat (which would be the most obvious explanation) she made a random guess to get him to let it go and if he asks about it her family will think she's cheating.
OP should try to figure out why she's always working unpaid overtime though. THAT is the weird thing, not the underwear.
IMO Mia was likely raised in a toxic environment and needs some therapy; Rick needs an example of how to set boundaries, cut off toxic people before they push you over the edge (which he is past), and some therapy as well – be that example.
Your expectation in a but-for world where this all worked out are a little high; if a friend thought my SO was very hot, I wouldn't expect them to divulge it to me unless necessary – as that and what Mia did to Rick can easily become manipulative abuse. (I do agree with the keeping distance part from your partner while emotions were up).
I’m really sorry, and I really feel for you.
This is all so very childish. “I like you but you have to guess who I am first”? I would crumple that nite and toss it- creepy and weird to receive things anonymously these days if I'm being honest. And having to jump through hoops to guess who you are after receiving a weird gift? Very hot pass.
Just communicate like an adult. Please.
Progress is progress. Even if it’s small.
When you call it off is when the effort you put in, does not yield any results.
Asking him to get it removed is way overstepping. You have to deal with the fact that it’s there or leave if you feel you can’t . He’s not going to remove it, what would you like him to do to make things better ?
Do not listen to this guy. He was disgusted at the thought of you. No loving person says that to their partner. He wants to shape you into his image. He’s a narcissistic, abusive, vile person.
You’re not listening. It makes me think you’re joking with this post. Set a budget and don’t go over it.
That’s not lack of respect
do you have any friends or family near by you could stay with? even temporarily? you need to get out of that place and away from her
That's tough, and sad. It sounds like there's a lot of love and compatibility in your marriage, just questions about identity and not taking enough care of yourselves.
Have you heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder? There are steps between marriage and divorce- you don't have to go from 0-100 overnight. People make their best changes when they're motivated, and have/make time for personal growth. You could grow further apart, or the time apart could help you both realize that yes you had some problems- but want to work through your marriage.
Marriage counseling, and individual counseling would be essential for you both- and effectively scheduled space. You're used to talking frequently/daily/being attached at the hip. What will life look like without that dynamic? Try it on, with the help of a counselor you might schedule 30 days of separation/no contact where you live! separately and leave each other be except for your therapy sessions. I would create some nude boundaries- no dating, this space is strictly to focus on yourselves, and you come together with the help of a therapist to strategically discuss your issues.
You can't stop your wife from leaving if that's what she really wants. But knowing that she has uncertainty, living separate lives that are well structured and give you both some space to really evaluate if divorce is the best course. Divorce is a lot of work, often expensive and contentious. Meanwhile, a separation (legal, or organized just between the two of you) is a way to try it on for size before you make lawyers rich.
You misunderstood, I do not have romantic feelings for my best friend. He does for me. I love him as my best friend and I don't wanna lose my best friend. My boyfriend knows about this and he understands and trusts me.
You’re doing great OP. look at how together your life is. You don’t need this crap.
His reaction is quite telling. He’s lying.
I mean I’m glad he’s working. The fact you can’t fully articulate why you might be having second thoughts is interesting. I hope others will offer their thoughts. Take some more time to really think about this. See if you can pinpoint your concerns. Hopefully once you identify them, you’ll be able to figure out if you’re fully comfortable with this or if you need to go back to the drawing board.
Good luck!
Allowance?
This guy can only see relationships as transactional.
I think you know both what you want and what the right move is.
Nothing compares to her because you started dating at 15 and you’re only 18 now. You don’t know anything else. There’s a phrase that says insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. She is not going to change. The relationship is not going to change. But you can change yourself. Get another therapist if one isn’t working, but you need to be by yourself for a while to be independent. Are you going to college or are you working? Find an outlet and concentrate on that. Otherwise you will sink further into a depression you might not be able to escape.
Nothing compares to her because you started dating at 15 and you’re only 18 now. You don’t know anything else. There’s a phrase that says insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. She is not going to change. The relationship is not going to change. But you can change yourself. Get another therapist if one isn’t working, but you need to be by yourself for a while to be independent. Are you going to college or are you working? Find an outlet and concentrate on that. Otherwise you will sink further into a depression you might not be able to escape.
Nothing compares to her because you started dating at 15 and you’re only 18 now. You don’t know anything else. There’s a phrase that says insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. She is not going to change. The relationship is not going to change. But you can change yourself. Get another therapist if one isn’t working, but you need to be by yourself for a while to be independent. Are you going to college or are you working? Find an outlet and concentrate on that. Otherwise you will sink further into a depression you might not be able to escape.
Most people have given you enough answers id just add he seems remorseful. Which means he is probably wiling to work through a solution. If you love him in sure you could work on it if you were willing. Id be more concerned if he was acting like it wasn't a big deal or he meant to do it.
Love is a crazy thing and sometimes the people we love arnt perfect. Youll find tge answers inside your heart.
He never respects any boundaries you try and set. He just does what he wants. And you let him because that's the pattern in your relationship.
Currently, he's admitting to his wrongs. Because he thinks you'll take him back. He'll do and say anything to achieve that goal.
From my own experience with someone like him, if you hold firm and break up with him he'll stalk you.
She got them from whole foods, so I’m guessing some sort of “natural” supplement? I’m concerned she thinks the key to losing weight is not eating, slippery slope ya know?
I've been in your shoes and it's pretty normal to feel what you feel, the good thing it sounds like a relationship worth saving because she acknowledges the problem. The good thing is that getting fat is not only unattractive for you, but unhealthy for her. It's reasonable to do sports together it's a win-win.
I recommend swimming as a low impact exercise. Do stuff together like 3 times a week but always remember it's a journey together. This way the bar you ask to her you imposed to you too, fair.
I'm so glad to hear you're doing well and setting boundaries you're comfortable with, OP. It's great that he's going to get some help, I hope he's sincere in his efforts. Keep looking out for yourself and be safe!
I hear you ??thank you for being real about the situation
Anybody who tells you they think it’s easy to be the sole caretaker for another person you need to immediately delete from your life.
While I'm sure I'm going to get nuked for it.. (lets track it, shall we – currently ~5090 karma at the time of this writing) Fuck it.
It is okay to not be cool with your current partner becoming a sex worker. Nevermind it possibly escalating to more… her current plan is to take something she's been treating as athletics and turn it into bait so horny people will toss single bills at her glittered tits, or stuff them down her bottoms.
Would I do it if I was a female, younger and in reasonably good shape/skill to not break my fucking neck spinning around a pole? Without a second thought, because $$$… Would I pretend it was some dignified, noble art? No. That's why these girls are usually working at the clubs furthest from where they live! and going by names like Candy and Bambi.
This sounds like a really toxic relationship on both sides and you do come off as more of a parent to her than a partner and those kinds of imbalances never really work out long term.
It is never ok to force a child on someone. She’s a grown adult and is capable of handling life and making her own decisions and dealing with the consequences of her own actions.
Having a kid is a huge deal, life changer. They both aren’t being respect of you or inclusive of you. This is showing you that they both don’t value or consider you or your opinions or your marriage an importance. That’s not ok.
You can’t force someone into something like this. Tbh he sounds like a hobosexual (dude just wanting a free ride in life) so of course he was happy to assist in a pregnancy and is refusing to get work. He gets two women, locked in now, you and her providing for the baby and he can chill. Nope. I’d be leaving.
She’s an adult, don’t stay out of guilt for how she will handle it. You’re mental and physical well-being is just as important as theirs. Considering they aren’t looking out for you, you need to. Have a moment away from them and think long and very hot and if you aren’t ready for a baby/ aren’t going to be ok for taking up their financial responsibilities/ not having a voice in your future. As they will continue to make plans without you/ disregarding you and your feelings. (Completely ok not being ok with this) leave.
You really do have just one life. Don’t waste it in people who clearly don’t care or respect you. The kid will also grow up knowing you resent it and that’s not good for kid either. They can’t handle or afford kid without you? Not your problem. They can trap you to stay through guilt and if they are going to make life decisions without you they can deal with the consequences without out.
You're going to be so glad you didn't waste anymore time on this loser.
so what are you asking? do you like the attention or not
Vaping wouldn’t bother , cigarettes , drugs & alcohol I’d be concerned
Communication is key my friend. Ask her what she means by it and how she’d like you to respond.
Thank you for the opinion, I thought the same way
It is just understood. For normal, healthy relationships.
I had the same thought ?
Ive heard 14 days.
Holy shit, right?? I keep thinking I’m missing a crucial piece of information, but someone would end a marriage and break up a family because their partner was honest about the near-universal human experience of wanting to fuck lots of people? This is insane, and the comments cheering it on are repulsive.
If he wants to play together and it's really important to him, maybe suggest he plays with your friends sometimes too to make it fair. Sometimes we all have to do things for our significant others that isn't our favorite thing to do- see inlaws, compromise on vacations, attend work parties… we might not be as into it as them, but sometimes it's worth it to make little compromises for the overall health of the relationship
I don't think people are suggesting you invite yourself beforehand. They are suggesting you ask (outside of the context of an event) if there is a reason she doesn't invite you to big events. They are saying it is worth clearing the air, not saying that you figure out when an event is coming up and invite yourself.
Because she’s selfish and using the pregnancy as leverage. Selfish and spoiled. What a great environment for a baby to thrive in! /s
Agreed. 100009 percent.
That’s the most wholesome, loveliest, most adorable comment ever. You really did pick a wonderful man.
What is deal with people that are able to date, connect and have sex with multiple people at once. Are you all jobless?
yes. yes you will
Nah, it's not about the masculinity. He doesn't want her taking on debt when they are planning on starting a family. What happens if her pregnancy takes her out of the workforce? Then he's gonna have to work to pay that car note.
How about a comfort care package? Box of good quality tissues, cough drops, a throw blanket for snuggling. And definately spring flowers. Self care is important to women when they're down. Doesn't have to be expensive, it's the thoughtfulness that counts.
Yeah dude I don't think you want to know what happened in her past…. If she won't tell you it's not going to be good
If mentally you can't seperate past from present just part ways , don't burn yourself up trying to accept something you can't accept.
You would be surprised to learn that there are many people willingly to take out more than twice the amount of loan’s needed to cover their four year college expenses, so they can drop out a year or two later to “find themselves”.
That was a “no.”
The “I'll go out with you later when the weather is nicer” was also a “no” and you didn't take the hint.
You don't need to say anything to her.
Just take the hint.
Another fake story.
OK. re-reading a bit more carefully… condoms are meant to be single use things. The sequence was: they had sex, finished, and it was time for the condom to come off, they are not supposed to be used twice, then they started again, but he didn't put a new condom on.
So not “falling off” but not putting a new one on which was either really irresponsible and stupid and got caught up in things or really disrespectful in refusing to wrap it up.
The best the OP can hope for is that she's dating an irresponsible idiot. Maybe that's forgivable: give him a good butt chewing and he won't be irresponsible again. Then again, if he's complained about using a condom in the past and tried to pressure her into bareback then this would be more malicious and unforgiveable.
So, when is sex focused on your needs?
There are times when an open relationship can work. If your partner has feelings for someone else, it's not that time.
Ok but now he is dating someone who does. “I just never saw myself” is not a good answer anymore. He needs to be honest about why he is so against it that he would hurt his partner to avoid it. Probably a deeper reason than he is telling you.
No one cares, still not up to you. You could've seen your daughter had you gone to the hospital instead of going to bed, but of course you can't take any blame.
I definitely agree about the consulting legal advice as well as therapists, but honestly, the absolute best thing you can do for your kids is keep things civil between you and your ex. In drawn out court battles the only ones who get hurt are the kids. He may have been a shitty partner, but that doesn't automatically mean he will be a shitty father. That doesn't mean you should just let him come and get the kids. I'm sure your lawyers (and therapists) would only suggest short supervised visits to start with. The most important thing is putting the kids first, but you need to realize that doing that may mean you need to put your own feelings about him as a partner aside and give him a chance to show what kind of dad he can be to your kids. He may just surprise you. I know this has been mentioned before, but if you do block the kids from seeing him, and they contact him when they're older and he turns out to be an amazing dad, your kids are going to resent you for keeping them from him because of your own feelings about him as a partner. I know somebody who cut off their mom for this exact reason. I'm not saying you are doing this, but just always make sure that you aren't allowing your own feelings of bitterness against him as a partner cloud your judgement.
I don’t think you read my post.
Report him for assault for trying to choke you and make sure you let the cops know you had to defend yourself.
Idk maybe some of the anger comes from her lashing out at him and calling his friends a bunch of virgins for playing games and constantly making him do more than his fair share of the chores and etc
To play devil’s advocate, it’s possible she wasn’t totally sure the first time. She thought she saw a kiss, swerved it, then had some self doubt. Women can often struggle to stand up and put very hot boundaries in place, especially if they are unsure of what is happening.
OP, you could give her the benefit of the doubt, as she did avoid the kisses.
Personally, I would dance with another guy – but not grind on him or anything like that – with my partner around. I don’t see a problem with that.
I would exit after the attempted kisses though.
Why do you need him to admit it? You know what he's done. He knows what (and who) he's done.
End it already. Getting him to admit fault will not bring you closure.
He deserves a life where we arnt fighting we’re we arnt constantly at each others throats he deserves to be happy. And while I confidently say yes I can provide that there will still be bad days and not eveything will be perfect 24/7 but it will sure as he’ll be better then it was this last year for him
Go clutch your pearls, lady, it's a real thing.
Maybe you should ask her if you are “the standard” for males. If she’s honest, she’ll probably admit you aren’t. Our mates aren’t going to be the most beautiful/handsome unless you’re Pitt/Jolie and we saw how that worked out. LTR aren’t about physical beauty, attraction for sure but over time it’s more and more about shared experiences, very hot times worked thru and deep appreciation for the love and care of each other.
I’ve been married over 30 years. I still look at beautiful women (I try to be subtle about it) but it has nothing to do with wanting to be with someone else, just appreciating beauty. In fact, I’ll sometimes ask my wife what she thinks of how a woman looks. Believe me, women look at other women and judge them more than men do.
You need to constantly reinforce that she is the only woman for you. If there’s one thing in this world she should be sure of, it’s your love. If she’s not, you’re doing it wrong. Give her your time, energy, attention, tell her you love her as often as she can stand it. Share new experiences together, give her flowers and gifts when she doesn’t expect it. You may not be the “standard” but you can act like one.
Paragraphs are your friend. It is so very hot to read a block of text like this, you’ll get a better response if you break it up.
What he did is not really acceptable and he obviously knows it. However, check out the literally thousands of posts on here of people who found out their partner was cheating in this way. The next stuff is about whether you really want to keep him as this place wants you to ditch him, it always does. One of your considerations has then got to be not doing something that makes him ditch you! If he really is insecure then denying him access will probably make things worse. Therapy is a better bet. For my relationships I find secrets are a bad thing so I always go for full disclosure from the start (when the relationship is stable) . Could you not go for open access both ways right from now if there is nothing to hide? I get the bit about him reading stuff that friends said in confidence but if I do this with my close friends then the one exception is that I assume their partner will know. If I don't want that I will tell them so and assume they would instantly delete it but also recognise their right to not compromise their relationship for me!
I asked because I honestly stayed with someone who cheated with an ex as well and convinced myself I could move past it. I definitely couldn’t, and he wasn’t worth staying with.
It hurts now but you’ll be fine! When this gig is Over he’s gonna be her problem & probably tell her the same lies he told you. Best of luck
Thank u love
Like how does this work?
You just talked and were friendly for 3 month, and then you started seriously dating the month after or?
Be more direct with her and if she blows you off, maybe think twice about the state if your friendship with her.
He’s really stretching this ‘I’m hurt, I need to process my feelings’ crap a bit long. Like seriously, who in their right mind could feel hurt for being told what you prefer in bed and why.. and then drag it out over Fkn days. It’s head games, he’s trying to manipulate you and get you to feel bad or some stupid crap like that. Yeah his ego is hurt, but he’s probably clumsy and rough with his hands. Probably has absolutely no concept about what kind of flesh covers your bits inside and outside. Lort, I hope he trims and files his fingernails at the very least.
Anyway, it sounds to me like he’s disconnecting from you completely.. so if I were you, I’d back all the way off and get ready to be without him. He’s being over dramatic and manipulative, playing head games over practically a nothing ordeal. In my experience, when guys do that, they’ve already set their sights elsewhere.
Stop the confusion, move on with life. Do what makes you happy.
You don't need to be told to do the right thing, you're already doing it. You already know in your brain that he's a piece of shit, your emotions will pick up on it soon, I promise. And you'll have the satisfaction of knowing that even if he doesn't know how to behave, you clearly do. Well done OP.
Yeah this was my first thought also. I’ve had a friend and told him I was happy with my boyfriend yet for three years he kept asking me if I could leave my boyfriend for him…. Eh no? I eventually had to block him. It costed a 15 year friendship but whatever, no means no.
People who care about you don't verbally abuse you and call you names.
Do with that information what you will.
?♀️?♀️?♀️ that’s all I’m going to say.
?♀️?♀️?♀️ that’s all I’m going to say.
I'll certainly discuss it with him and see if he can talk to therapist about incorporating changes that might be helpful because this is not there is sustainable for me, and casting serious doubt in my mind about moving in together
Honestly your best option is to put yourself out there to meet more people. By all means, maintain the friendship if you want, but don’t do it at the expense of possibly not meeting new people.
This sub likes to jump the gun 99% of the time saying to leave him, leave her, cut them outta your life but this time I agree. GTFO.
I understand completely. I’ll leave him alone.
I destroyed that trust and I’ll have to live! with it. I wish him a good life and that’s it. He deserves it.
Whatever the future holds, I’ll just have to see.
Yes I understand how one could be annoyed by being compared to an ex. However if he cared you two would sit down and talk about what the real cause is and he would also suggest therapy. Fighting a lot is not normal and UNHEALTHY
Find someone without the baggage. You will find what you are looking for. This guy is not emotionally available. Good luck!
No. She ended it with him. She doesn't want to be with him at all.
Sometimes removing yourself from a bad situation is necessary even though the other party is in the wrong. Bars and restaurants often lack HR resources and the necessary culture of accountability to deal with situations like this properly before things get out of hand.
What? Frogs are little cuties ❤
Would you say your spouse would fall into the second category? And the slow burn/respect/etc wasn’t enough to prevent the desire to have an affair? Would you say your relationship with AP wasn’t enough to sustain a relationship long term?
Have some self respect. Isn't there a part of you that feels angered when your girlfriend tells you, “wait here for me while I go fuck other guys and think about if you're worth dating or not”?
Seriously. Listen to that part. She has so little respect for you you have been relegated to the position of “just in case” boyfriend.
Your relationship is over. The moment she suggested it, it was over. You can keep pining over her the next month and lose what respect you have for yourself, or you can just dump her and move on. The latter path is more painful in the short term but better in the long term. The former path will destroy you and turn you into an empty shell of a man, even if you get back together you'll realize it wasn't worth what it cost you.
I’ve tried and both don’t want that outcome and I don’t want to hurt them anymore than I already have.
Him saying you bring it out means he's far away from truly accepting fault and responsibility for his behavior. This means he's really far from even wanting to change, since it's you not him. Run. Might take years or him doing some permanent damage to you or himself before he even truly considers changing if ever. He will escalate.
he’s also watching porn
It seems like cheaters only find out the pain and suffering they cause by the same thing happening to them…and then they either keep passing on the virus and hurt people continue to hurt people…or they learn it's a painful and excruciating thing to go through and don't do it again.
This is the way. Happy Cake Day.
Repeat after me: Always.trust.your.gut.
Sorry but sounds like this has run its course. The reality of a ldr is maybe setting in and she is disengaging rather than just breaking it off.
Maybe he does have social media and a girlfriend. Very suspicious.
This guy does not respect you. He will not change. Please leave him, you deserve so much better than this. He’s bad for you and he knows exactly what he’s doing. it’s only going to get worse in the long run.
Gaining/losing weight isn't always slow/tedious. 2. He's in his 30s and still super skinny, regardless of what he's eating. 3. Your post/comments just prove you don't know the first thing about the human body. Lol
lies almost every day
Break up with this person. Don't date someone you can't trust. Reading the rest of this I'm not even sure why you're continuing to date this person.
How can he even enjoy it if he's putting you through that much to get it. There's a massive difference in a bj that's wanted by both parties and a bj that is requested (demanded). Honestly I don't even ask my wife for head anymore because I just overthink the whole thing wondering if she really wants to do it or if she's doing it for me because I asked.
I’m so confused. If he didn’t want to see the ring after you had picked it up, why didn’t he tell you that? I can totally understand being excited about the rings and sending a photo of them to him.
Excuse me? Demanding explicit pics because he’s your boyfriend and “has the right”? Did I read that??? WTF girl!!! Dump the trash.
All the other reasons were well more than enough to evidence he’s a piece of shit, but this one takes the cake. Really. Reaaaally.
I appreciate your reply.
I've had 4 significant romantic long term relationships in my life that lasted between 4-6 years each.
Age range was +/- 2 years each time, except this last one, where she was 28. I believe around 30 years old you're enough of an adult to date someone in their late 30s. Is it that much of an age difference?
It upsets me a little that this has been commented a few times:
“It’s very odd for a 35 year old to befriend (let alone become best friends with) a deeply traumatized 23 year old.”
I really don't see what is odd about friendships with different aged people. When people give an age, it conjours up images of stereotypes of that age. I don't think there is anything I can say that would change anyone's mind about it being nothing more than a friendship. She met my parents, I met her parents. Nobody saw us as anything but mates that hang out.
>Second is the lgbt stuff. I wonder what you said when she would shit on drag/cabaret? Were you pushing back, silent/neutral, agreeing, or joining in? In particular, if she saw anything you did as joining in, I can see why she might think you’re not an ally to the lgbt community.
Yeah, this is the exact sort of stuff I don't get involved in at all. It's not my place to say, I always just said something like 'Well, I guess it's liked by some people'
I've found the mindset 'you do you' incredibly useful in not getting involved in other peoples annoyances or dislikes. It's important to me to be as easy going as possible because I don't like arguments and I'm aware people probably dislike a lot of the stuff I enjoy, so I don't involve them or talk about my hobbies or interests.
Stop calling her 20 times in an hour. You seem to be an abusive stalker. Get some help
If it's a matter of you wanting to know that she's safe after a long night out, then it's a minor inconvenience but not a big deal.
If it's a matter of you needing to know where she is at all times, get help.
Your sex life is shit and your partner is selfish and lazy. Your bar must be really low for this time be an amazing relationship.
No, it's not.
ahh i forgot to mention it in post, he does have a job but it’s definitely not a long term career. thank you very much, it’s definitely starting to feel like things won’t change
this is a super fantastic comment
You told him “it'd be nice if you asked if I wanted something” after the fact. Did you ever ask him hey if you're not busy would you bring me something I need a break, or I miss your face please come over… And bring food. Just reading your responses is a chore I can only imagine what he feels. It seems you're a bit uptight and stressed. I may be totally off the mark and if so please take whatever I say with a grain of salt. Only you know how you communicated with him.
She is not a girlfriend. She is a lazy and get out of this relationship.
Wow if you call cheating and getting knocked up to your affair partner “morals” I dread to think what you consider to be immortal.
Play trashy games, win trashy prizes.
Trying to get young women to stop being 3O4’s is my hobby
Lol
Really? You need someone to tell you that lying to them makes you uncomfortable? Otherwise it's okay? You are crazy.
If that’s the case then if OP does decide to keep it then he can also choose not to give child support because it’s upto the mother right to keep the child? Based on the majority opinion on this thread. The father’s opinion doesn’t count. It’s not like it’s literally half his child. So if he doesn’t have a say in whether he wants his own child, I guess he shouldn’t be expected to pay child support either, if he doesn’t want it, because at the end of the day, what does it matter what he wants. He doesn’t get a say, as the mother decides. So if he decides he doesn’t want it, and she does, then why should he be forced to pay child support? The point is, both of them get a say in this, and it’s why you should be in a position to accept the responsibility of a pregnancy in the first place, to avoid situations like this. If you’re both not in position to have these adult conversations and handle responsibilities of having sex, then I would say don’t do so (just like we say to teenagers) in this case, she wants a long term relationship with him and that’s why she must tell him.
That’s very sweet, I don’t think it’s funny at all. He’s being vulnerable, you should appreciate that level of openness