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He wants to have his cake and eat it too. You are being played. Show up at his work and see his/her reaction. He’s not worth it.0
Says who? How does OP know with 100% certainty that he was gay??
I don’t think you fucked up?
I do think you need to think about the pros and cons for each guy. Who’s to say that the new guy fizzles out after a month or so? Then what?
But also, if you’re truly not happy in your current relationship, then there’s no point in wasting any more of your time or your current partner’s.
You both deserve people you’re compatible with. It seems that even though you care for each other, you have different core values/interests. Sometimes opposites can attract, but other times it just causes more tension and stress.
So if your gut was already telling you to call it off, then you’ll need to really reflect on that and what it would mean for you.
Again, you deserve to be happy. And so does your current partner. Even if it’s not with each other.
“Approval” ?????
Bro you’re a red flag ?
You set a boundary and that’s the start. Dont fall for the, “you’re being insecure” crap as that’s just deflection from the real issue. You two may just be incompatible relationships wise. She may need male orbiters to feel some sense of validation and that includes her ex. The other issue, and it’s a biggie, is that she may be an “alpha widow” in which she has pair boded with her ex and he may be that guy that will always be around, no matter who she is with.
Continue to feel out the situation and monitor for any weird behaviors: texting more, not picking up often when called, spending more time with “friends” than normal. Stay diligent and don’t be a fool.
It is Unrealistic though. Most straight men are not going to suddenly become gay and like dick because they had a good time with you for a couple months.
99% chance something will go wrong and have a negative impact on the relationship.
We have already tried mutual and all sorts of things and none seem to be working.. I was thinking if viagra would help out with it
Well, if you can’t do a simple thing like breaking up with someone you don’t want to be with, you’re going to have a very hard life.
“invaded and violated” as opposed to his feelings that she's awfully suspicious about having a once worn lingerie under her bed with stains on it in an otherwise clean room?
she claimed she tried it on and that's all… yet stains are present.
Sorry but her answers doesn't seem on the level so you can claim “violated” in response to justified problems with the given situation and provided answers but those problems still exist.
well even if you guys end to break up it cant hurt to try and talk about it first? unless you dont care, then just break up instead ofc. just trying to bring a liberal perspective to the table.
So she can’t have friends? Get over yourself.
YOU need therapy. YOU need support. Someone to help you make a plan. Your not talking to anyone about this. It’s a heavy burden.
You are dangerous to date. I hope you explain this viewpoint to every person you date.
To be honest, your girlfriend needs to address her behaviour first. Being routinely stressed does not give anyone the right to be catty or disrespectful with others. If she's understand that, she needs professional help. Also I know you want to help her which is the right attitude but you cannot help someone whose not willing to help themselves. If she's not seeking help, not actively doing anything to slowly help feel better and only responding to your help and support with varying degrees of disrespect then you need to prioritize your own health and life.
I was missing a few teeth for a long time before I could afford the $$$$$ to fix them (right amount of dollar signs there). But she said a few FRONT teeth, which is a whole different thing in terms of hygiene, day-to-day pride, and social ramifications.
Why do you care? Your cousin doesn't seem to care.
My advice is to run. No, seriously. You like to be independent, and she has an anxious attachment style. I don't think therapy, communication, or anything else will resolve your issues together.
I have two reasons for my advice. The first is about you.
> I can't take it any longer. I'm tired of walking on egg shells and I miss my old lonely life
That gut feeling right there? That's telling you that you're with the wrong person. Release each other, so you can each find someone who actually completes you, makes you happy, and makes you feel like you want to be there rather than feeling trapped and miserable.
The second is about her.
> I can't play video games, I've had to stop going to the gym and if I do any of those things she get really emotional and starts crying saying she just misses me.
YMMV, but for me, I'm a hard no on anyone who tries to control their partner from doing basic, normal things that people do. You can have a partner who will either enjoy going to the gym and gaming with you OR will be happy that you have your own interests, and will also have her own.
And maybe a third reason. I read your post history. Congratulations on your 100 lb weight loss! That is life-changing. Remember the part where she won't let you go to the gym? Don't give up the gym for anyone or anything.
Best of luck to you.
Would you want your best friend to know if they had been cheated on?
Yeah.
This is a legal issue not a Reddit issue
It wasn‘t like… one mistake. She kept doing it over and over and gave no fucks about you when she cheated. That should tell you what you have to know.
Im a bit tired and stressed, not in the best condition to give advice in a thoughtful manner.
Yet I want to attempt, because some of my experiences might give a different angle. I’m a guy.
I have had different experiences in my life.
My kids tell me I should have divorced years ago.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family I have survived so far, but there’s emotional scar tissue, not only inside me, but also inside my kids. You don’t realize how some hurt gets transferred even as you work to protect your kids.
One of the things, that’s helped us is honesty, I hated being so dumb and innocent as a child which allowed me to be hurt by so many things.
I have always been very honest with the kids I have raised. I rather be honest and it’s allows them to protect themselves, I allow them to make their decisions in life, but try to make sure they are informed.
Your husband looked at you as a prize, and you are definitely a prize, but his own insecurities makes him hate you. The man you think you married is fictional.
Don’t hate him, because he was probably broken before you met him.
Get a good lawyer, protect yourself and your child, teach your child not to hate him, but how to protect herself from him.
I taught my children how to avoid confrontations with their parents. But also to be confident and set boundaries.
In theory everything can be fixed, but life is not a Disney movie, and your husband lied to you to trap you.
And the experience of fatherhood doesn’t seem to really motivate him to be better.
Fatherhood changed me, specially having daughter’s.
I encourage the kids I have raised to have good relationships with their parents, but to know the realities of life and make their own decisions.
I mention different kids because I have helped raise my own and others.
He cheated
Just because y’all keep shrieking the same words doesn’t make them logical. Stop being so emotional.
I see that now and I feel horrible for doing it. I will definitely do that because I really do care a lot about him and only want him to be happy. I will move on. Thank you.
Good grief talk about a completely wrong conclusion. Lots of people watch movies with young people. Myself included.
Your partner is WAY over the top wrong on this accusation. I would be extremely bothered by this I were you. Take a good look at this relationship.
I’m with the people saying to wait until your divorce is finalized. Your first loyalty here is to yourself.
After this much time, I have to wonder if it’s less about her insecurity and more a conveniently-handy stick to hit you when she’s actually angry about something else.
There is nothing wrong with keeping an eye on this situation, but keep in mind the context. (1) Your wife has a limited history with your ex-friend or your earlier social group, so she may have assumed he’s matured beyond the asshole he was back in the day. (2) Your ex-friend is probably more interested in the referral bonus for recruiting your wife than getting any revenge on you by hooking up with her. (3) While your wife is probably grateful she got the job lead, she is aware that he can’t be a friend because you hate him, and (4) Now that she is working with him she has to behave professionally, but she also has to balance your dislike of him. As a colleague, she can’t cut him off entirely in the work place, even if he is a complication for you.
Rather than obsessing over your physical suspicions, ask your wife why she took the job lead knowing that it came from your ex-friend. If she dismisses your feelings or wants to over-ride you, then you have a problem. Ditto if she wants to include him in your current social life.
Or they break, or they slip off, or they leak when pulling out, or, or, or …. – average use is 20% of people who use condoms exclusively for 1 year get pregnant, regardless of how you personally might use them.
Yeah no thts an incredibly dangerous plus insanely stupid fuckng thing to request of a partner.
What sane person would want you putting your health at risk for some idiotic ideal of masculinity?
What if you told her you wanted her to lose alot of weight because the perfect woman needs to be a size 4?
You would be a right dickhead OP. So no she's insanely stupid and you shldnt tell her to fuck off if she insists on this stupidity.
Go with your gut. Maybe her story might be believable if it weren’t for her growing distant over text. Her job was suddenly more intensive? Idk bro it seems like for too many pieces to be an incident.
1) no means no in every setting. 2) that's not “romantic,” it's sexual. 3) what actually romantic things does he do for you or your relationship to maintain it? If anything?
He's disgusting and sexually harassing you and coercing you by trying to make you feel guilty. That's not a healthy relationship. I would strongly recommend ending the relationship and seeking out something better later. After taking some time for yourself.
You have text messages that show he is being inappropriate. You need to report it
Not for an hour, with a ‘friend’ of the opposite sex whilst married to someone I’ve just lied to about where I am. No.
Why would she come on Reddit and lie that she didn’t cheat?
She’d just get on with things wouldnt she?
Did somebody hurt you?
That's interesting that he needs so much support. Almost 3 years ago I was hit by a terrible driver, and paralyzed from the chest down. I don't need any support. Every situation is different, but even for me, I have complete paralysis from the chest down, with no muscle activation or sensation. If they are paralysed from the waist down, I don't see any reason they can't at least do everything I can do.
Sounds like maybe the parents over did supporting him and he's just used to being taken care of.
Your father should be more forthcoming on his reasons for divorce especially since your mom is making accusations & it all be easily proven if she's lying or not. And if it is proven you & sister are not directly DNA-related, he still you father because he raised you.
Otherwise, he shouldn't whine just like your mother is now being cut off/disowned by you & your sister just like your 2 older brother did to your mother.
He is a toxic manipulative asshole abuser. GET OUT. GO NO CONTACT. Stop romanticizing him immediately, it’s not reality. To help get over him, write out a list of CONS (who cares about the pros, and there’s little, if any, anyways). EVERY time you think of him, read the list. It’ll help much faster than you’d believe!
Good luck! Sending you hugs.