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Just here to point out your common sense and how much I like it on this sub
I appreciate that. And in my relationship I am the one trying not to over analyze everything my wife does, so it's not like I am trying to defend myself.
I would have died if this happened to me.
if I don’t marry her now she said she will end our relationship
ultimatums = ???
I’m sorry, but if the genders were reversed, this would be absurd, no questions. It is absurd! For her to try and guilt you into doing something you absolutely do NOT want to do, it’s not okay. She needs to know it’s not okay.
I do hope so, hopefully he’s happy and has healed from it
Yeah I remember one of my bdays, maybe my 11th idk, I got a pair of headphones. I was REALLY disappointed by this gift especially since it was the only one I got. It was also from my grandma and she was SO happy about the gift. She felt she nailed it and said that I needed them. I listened to music like 24/7 and I did need them. Buuuut… I would have gotten them even without my birthday! Let's be real, they're headphones. I can't use my walkman without them and it's not my fault I need new ones. So just like batteries, they'd understand and I'd be allowed to get new headphones anytime during the year as long as funds are available :/ it's like making a bday where you go shopping for new clothes…. But you're actually buying your back to school clothes you'd be getting either way. I had been hyping what I really wanted (an iPod touch) and I thought FOR SURE I'd be getting it. I didn't want to hurt her feelings though so I tried really nude to be happy about it. I got a job walking a dog and a paper route and I bought my own iPod touch 4th gen refurbished 😀
Lol. What’s overly emotional on that comment?
Info: how would you feel if her dad or male friend came over and spanked you.
As a grown, adult woman, if you read this story about someone else, what would you think?
No, but you would have to learn HER native language in order to actually meet in the middle. And all she wants is to be able to text it in your native language. Why would she go through the stress and complexity and exert all the mental energy that goes into not only communicating while upset, but while doing it in a language that she doesn’t think in, when you’re doing nothing that’s considerate of her? Her whole existence is already being poured into her body building your child cell by cell, and you can’t let her text her thoughts in the translation into your native language? You need her to do that translation in real time, after doing something you already knew would upset her?
Just an FYI, one of the biggest hurdles in couples who have kids divorcing that they can’t get past is the resentment a lot of women hold from a time period during their pregnancy, birth, or in the two years following where they felt like when they were at their most vulnerable, their partner showed her that she couldn’t trust them to prioritize her needs or protect her interests. So you may want to stop being intentionally dense on this, and start fixing this. This is a time period you won’t get back. She will never need you as much as she does right now. And therefore if you don’t treat it with the delicacy it deserves, she will never really forget how you treated her when she was most in need of your protection. So if I were you, I’d put my pride aside and step up and start acting like she didn’t make a mistake in the partner she chose for this part of her life…
No I’m talking about the timing of the comments
You need to talk to him about this. This is therapy level, way beyond reddit.
You are both hurting and depressed but dealing poorly with it in different ways. You bot need to be supporting each other.
Seriously for your kid, therapy.
When we don't like how out partners behave we communicate it, if thinks do not change we leave, we do not act like we own them and they are our dolls or property to “grab” and take away from a place they went to voluntarialy.
She might not respect your feelings and boundaries but you have no right to act in such a controlling way. You don't like how she acts, you leave her.
That's not really shit in the modern era. Age gaps are more common than ever and if they're all 30 plus they're all already either permanently smart, permanently stupid, or permanently average.
Yea I call BS. Why would he be embarrassed around friends and family about allergies? Plus his extreme reaction leans more to a person who has a history of drug use relapsing.
Walk away. Anyone that brainwashed by religion will never be compatible with you. Plus they would force that religion on their children too.
We’ll, his reaction was directed at you and you are embarrassed and uncomfortable about it too – he doesn’t get to rub sweep that kind of behaviour because it’s easiest for him. He needs to put some effort in to fix what he broke.
There's very little consensus about the meaning of the word 'love'. Her friends probably just helped her to realize that the two of you hadn't yet made the necessary preparations for a discussion of love.
It sounds to me like he's letting your past abuse to him get in his head. If you were still recovering from your abusive relationship when you started going out with him, you might not have been ready to start dating. It's possible the relationship from the start was set up in the wrong way. Ask your partner if he'd be willing to start things over from scratch, almost like it's a fresh beginning. Go on a couple cute dates, do the things that new couples do like asking to hold his hand or being shy to kiss him. Try and get a feel for who you both are without looking at the experiences of your relationship before, and maybe even do some fun personality tests together. It's important to know your partner's motivations and connection with you, so maybe forming a strong base for a future relationship will make it to where he's more open to negotiating and finding another debate friend.
Did you at all consider yourself to be the problem? There a dozen of things that can happen to your nose or brain that change your smelling. This can vary from straight loosing the ability to smell to just having a hypersensitivity.
What do his friends or coworkers say to this?
You shouldn’t need to tell a man that’s 4 years from 30 to change his clothes and wash his feet. Also, black mold is incredibly dangerous and deadly. If you called APS they’d likely make him vacate his home.
Honestly, it doesn't seem necessary to remain friends. There's no children and 14 years will leave a pretty deep wound.
I support an amicable ending through and through but just remember to do what's best for yourself, OP. Allow yourself the space you need to move on.
Totally reasonable. Come on. Leave now .
Your husband is a cat thief and an asshole.
But it was her money to spend it sounds like. It doesn’t matter you think it was the wrong choice and no matter how much you wish she’d handed the keys over to you and your sister, it was her car period. She obviously didn’t have much to herself seeing as you offered your sister a room that was taken .
Ok and wtf does that have to do with this post lol
I agree it sounds like she settled for him bc she wanted stability. Not healthy.
But why shouldn’t she resent him for parenting this way? Just “barreling” through or forcing things, and being emotionally unavailable to their kids? That’s not just “father” stuff imo. He needs to try a bit harder.
And on top of the bad hygiene, it also sounds like he’s not very emotionally available to her. This isn’t necessarily insta-breakup territory, but definitely needs to be addressed.
Sounds more to me like she settled for him bc stability, but now is realizing what he lacks and expects more. Just bc he’s better than her previous partners doesn’t mean he’s without flaws or that she can’t have expectations for him.
Why the change of heart?
What are you doing to manage your anger? How long have you been in therapy, what support groups have you joined, what books have you read?
She called him first, but by the look of it, he didn't get shot down.