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Lavinia, 25 y.o.
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If he asking for your advice?
Girl i’m sorry but he doesn’t like you anymore… Find a guy who will make you feel special everyday but especially your BIRTHDAY… this dude can’t even be bothered to text you, you sound way too nice to be treated like an annoyance
Your wife is out of line. You want to hang out with YOUR FAMILY. Having anyone else there changes the dynamic. Your dad is sick, and this bonding time with your parents and siblings really matters to you.
We had a chat a few minutes ago. She's starting to get it.
I think it’s really crummy of your wife to a)be offended that this isn’t a trip for her mom;
She got this finally.
b) lead your mom to invite your MIL – and your wife totally orchestrated that;
She won't admit to it but she likely did lol.
c) further invite an aunt & uncle that I’m presuming she knew you didn’t want there;
I honestly have no idea why she even brought them up. It made zero sense. Yesterday, I specifically said “Please don't bring your family. I just want to spend time with my parents and siblings. I don't even want my own uncle and aunt who go there all the time” (my uncle loves to play the guitar and just stares at people while he sings, it's WEIIIIIRD).
d) being mad when her attempts to circumvent your wishes failed.
She's not mad, she's more offended as to why I don't want to hang out with her mother. She obviously doesn't want anyone not liking her precious mother. I can understand this one. This has been an ongoing thing to be honest. I typically refuse to go to her house and she's like but whyyyy, my mom is such a good person. I can't bring myself to air my grievances because I don't want to talk shit about her mom, but in all honesty, I really don't like hanging out with her. Great person, but love from a distance as I see and interact with her a little too much.
Ask her why she’s afraid to be around your family without her mother in tow. Maybe she feels excluded at your family gatherings and wanted someone to hang out with.
It's not really that. My MIL recently beating cancer has created a soft place in her heart for her mother so I think the idea of me not liking her is something that hurts her. I can understand that but that doesn't mean that I have to accommodate for her all the time of course. She doesn't like it when I set up boundaries. The mother in law also lost her mother recently and the other daughter left the house so she's been super lonely. I got my MIL an Amazon Echo Show so my wife wouldn't drive to her house every single day and now we have her at the dinner table every night on video conference. Sometimes I'll walk into the kitchen and there she is on a call that my wife walked out of and I'll be in my underwear or I'll burp or say something really stupid as a joke and shit, there she is. It's become a little too much. Maybe I need to tell this to my wife more seriously.
The solution might be to go with your kids and without your wife.
That won't work. Zero chance of it happening for a thousand reasons haha.
It's a communication problem, you can relate actual nice advice without hurting his feelings…. I guess you need someone to call you out and show you how they want to hear it. If you want to offer advice, maybe ask him if he would like to receive advice, if he didn't ask for it then don't bring it up. Do you compliment him when he does something good or nice to you and others?
Do you think Dee has appointed herself MoH so she can one-up Melody and/or make her feel like she can't be a part of your wedding? And if the answer is yes, then what do you think that tells you about Dee that she would use your wedding day to settle a score and keep grinding an axe?
Nip this in the bud right now and tell Dee that while you appreciate her offer to be your MoH, you'll be assigning her a different role/want her to relax and be a guest rather than rushing about helping you. If you think that she'll try to push back then have your fiance with you when you tell her. If she pushes the issue when your fiance isn't there then you can buy yourself breathing space by telling her that you are making decisions jointly with your fiance and will have to run it by him (and then actually do that!). And if she keeps pushing? Then it's time to ask yourself why you are friends with someone who had zero respect for your boundaries and your wedding.
What is the point?
His reasons are ridiculous. Of course he doesn’t want them knowing.
Staying with him is agreeing to this broken thinking. One day it will impact you, from other irresponsible thinking. Not to mention you inheriting this debt of luxury.
Yeah, even when you are into it, restrain yourself anyway and take your time. It may help soothe things if your process is purposely gradual.
Sounds like he doesn't have time for a relationship, maybe you should find someone that does.
His intentions don't matter to her when she is on the ground terrified and crying. It doesn't matter what he knows, what she FELT in that moment was that he had total physical control over her and was looking into her terrified eyes continuing to hold her down.
There’s no reason to do that. This is enough to just leave the relationship. And it seems she has already left his house.
No doubt! In fact, I would go ahead and emphasize that I think it was pretty cruel of her to see her exhausted man, and decides this is the time to try to initiate sex, then try to shame him afterwards when he didn’t have the energy.
Tell her to confront said friend on a phone call on speaker. It does not have to happen in person
She moved to a new, separate table to stop the gossip… that people she knew would see her eating food with you? You fucked up when you didn't just get up and leave without her.
You’re giving him way too much credit. Dude was horny but also born-again, so he did what so many outwardly pious people do: he put his faith aside in order to get what he wanted. Now he feels guilty so he is overcompensating. I wouldn’t even want to be friends with someone like that, let alone date them.