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Leah Starr (leahmanika twitter), 22 y.o.
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I'm glad I helped. But please please please get out of that relationship. You are not being treated well, it is harming your self esteem, and you know you can do better.
In this case, it’s well deserved and earned by OP’s egg donor.
Well….?
How old are you guys…have you experience with circumcised guys?
Teen guys/guys with a foreskin and less sexual experience often have one that's a little tight…not unlike the way girls are a little tight when you first start. So…
Guys who aren't circumcised are generally more sensitive in the areas that are normally covered by the skin. So…too much direct stimulation of those areas can be more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Again, even more so if he's sexually inexperienced. That's a mistake that partners inexperienced with the unaltered johnson, or inexperienced in general, make. Pulling the skin all the way open and holding it there, and directly touching the head too much.
There are definitely more of variety of things you can try with a guy with foreskin. The “tongue in foreskin” is an example. That….may drive him wild? Or not…
Money does & doesn't matter. If you don't have enough, it can make for a miserable and cramped life. Women should certainly step up to be breadwinners, but it seems as if you're conflating your backgrounds with work ethic? Does he work? Will he work? And all that being said. You're only 2 months in and it's way too soon to call a relationship at this point. If you enjoy his company, and he isn't a deadbeat, then date for awhile to get to know him better rather than future-tripping about how things might work out in the long run. You're deep in the honeymoon stage with him, but that will wear off eventually and you'll have more experience with him & clearer vision about what you want. And, at 20, you have plenty of time to figure things out.
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TLC – Unpretty
This is the best comment.
Seriously, the floppy thing during hook-ups is very normal. Every thinks they on-line in a porno until it happens. It's just biology, friend. Please don't be too “hard” on yourself, because it happens a great deal more than is ever talked about. Even people who have a bunch of experience with casual sex just can't do it sometimes. Either way, try not to think of it as the end of the world. Good luck!
“but wanted to try a Hail Mary type of grand gesture” – do you know your wife? Do you listen to her? What she likes, what would be “Hail Mary” gift for her?
Don't ask strangers but start believing in yourself! That's what she wants of you! Stop being fake and manipulative.
“I desperately want to do anything I can to persuade her” – be yourself, if she doesn't like you for who you are, then love her enough to let her go!
Trust your instincts. The most abusive bf I had used to lie constantly about the most inane, pointless bs. I couldn’t understand why and he wouldn’t explain it to me. The worst was tho that he would deny his lies like his life depended on it unless I caught him in a whopper that he couldn’t talk his way out of. This kind of behavior is maniacal and it really starts to take a toll and makes you start to question yourself. If he keeps it up, just drop him. It’s not worth it.
Yeah but look at how he phrased things. It wasn’t “she just graduated high school and I was already an adult” it was “she didn’t feel ready”, priming us to see her as selfish/bad.
Just by this title you should cut him off
Consider that children grow up with this idea that their parents know more than them, or at least have better self-discipline than them. They grow up striving to attain that level of intelligence and wisdom. When a parent then suddenly declares another person that is the child's contemporary to essentially be an equal to them, it inevitably leads to 2 possible considerations: The child has failed to achieve the standard for respect from their parent (like this new person has) and/or the parent has abandoned the standard they were seemingly setting throughout the child's life.
The age-gap is a significant issue that you haven't taken any time to understand why it is problematic. Your child tried to articulate it to you, and you dismissed her feelings or that she even had any basis for challenging your decision. Through this, you have established that you are uninterested in anything that doesn't benefit you. Even in this post, you only mention that your motivation is to resolve your own desire to be in your daughter's life. If you genuinely cared about the damage you caused, you would understand that this is a social failure that you have to on-line with. Your daughter needs space from you to heal from the harm you caused.
So, my recommendation is this:
Leave your daughter alone. This at least shows you respect her need for distance from you. Look into the reasons why your daughter (and many other people) have serious concerns about age-gap relationships. Honestly reflect on whether you overlooked those concerns simply because you wanted what you wanted. If your daughter does ever reach out, be prepared simply to listen. Don't prepare to explain yourself or describe some mitigation through virtuous actions since then. Just be prepared to hear what she has to say to you, and follow her lead. This would reinforce and maintain a respect for what she has to say. Accept that there is nothing you can do to make your daughter come back into your life. She is making the best decision for her life. It's hardly any different than what you taught by example; What is important to you means neglecting anyone else. Though, in her case, she was hurt by you, because you wanted a new relationship, and she has stepped away to allow you that relationship and protect herself from further harm.
You can’t because he is an arsehole and cares more about his financial situation than he does about you. There is a disparity in your incomes. If you buy a house together that’s about the highest level of commitment you can make besides kids. He isn’t treating you as an equal partner. You’re either a couple or your not. If he won’t compromise and buy something more affordable then honestly that speaks volumes about his priorities.
Either she talks with you or you split. Make that clear.
Avoiding the consequences of your actions would be the ultimate asshole move.
Why offer your opinion? Expressing yourself, responding to her complaints, …help her?
OR Have a don't ask don't tell policy. Don't tell me about your crummy boyfriend and I won't tell you about your crummy boyfriend.
Just something to be aware of: the number 1 reason relationships fail is disagreement over money.