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She should have known marrying a man from the UK that the culture she moved to and married into is not like Chinese culture. There needs to be compromise on both ends here. It’s not all one over the other. Having 2 more people move in with you for half a year in a space that is decidedly too small to accommodate that number of heads under one roof is in fact a significant imposition.
And unless the wife is committed to enforcing and respecting discussed boundaries, which given Chinese culture and human nature in general I highly of doubt will hold up for long, 1 month in there is going to be a huge strain on the marriage.
The parents are adults. They can rent space or at least split cost of renting space for themselves to live nearby for half a year.
If he doesn't want to he married, and you do, your not compatible for a relationship. If you value getting married more than the relationship your currently, from the sounds of it, happily in then you have to end it, because you'll never be happy. If he truly values you, and your relationship, then he'll rethink his stance.
Thank you! I love this comment. He probably thinks he’s an “alpha”, too. Lmao
Exactly this.
You need to view this as the same as being gone or at work. Because it is. You weren’t available. You were asleep. Why should he have waited? It’s no different than you being gone and him not waiting.
I don’t miss being in high school
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Sounds like its not your real best friend. Why the f would you be jealous? this doesn't make any sense. I would rethink this relationship
It wasn't the words she said but the tone which she said them and the look on her face when she said them.
Thank you for this comment, it expresses exactly what I think. I don't have proof he cheated but I don't have proof he didn't cheat. He feels it's ridiculous to prove the absence of a “crime” and it's not his job to do, while it absolutely should be his job. I feel as though he lost his right to that boundary the second he lied to me. But he'd rather leave than cross it. And he didn't lie to me for five years, it all happened last year.
This might be controversial, but I don't think it's wrong to explore your darkest fantasies through writing. It's the safest, and most harmless way to do it. And no, I don't think you're a bad person for having such fantasies, people really can't control this type of stuff..
I mean it was prefaced to contact a lawyer immediately (or before anything else).
I’m sorry I stopped reading half way through.
Cause what the actual fuck. I’m 30, and your 46 GF is acting 15.
If my ex, his GF and my so can all 4 co parent 7 year olds without fighting…. You can find someone who isn’t jealous of an ex from ten years ago.
She is controlling af and your ex isn’t really a narcissist. Cause if she was. She’d be throwing a damn fit that you don’t make her more important than she is. Maybe selfish but does not have NPD
If you feel your GF can’t logically reason something important and financial then that should be a sign to reconsider her.
You plan to have ambitions in the future and you need a wife that provides intelligent support.
If you can’t respect her thinking now. It won’t be dependable later.
Say she went on the trip and he found out later 2 of her guy friends came with after only saying it was a girls trip. That would be her lying to him.
Maybe that’s the kind of upset he was, and just didn’t communicate it well? He could be upset on OPs behalf, and upset because in his mind OP didn’t feel comfortable sharing with him, which he could’ve reflected negatively on himself (“I didn’t do enough to make (OP) feel comfortable”). Not trying to defend him if he is being unsupportive or harmful, just pointing out that miscommunications happen, especially during challenging conversations like that, which I imagine came as a big surprise to OPs spouse.
It’s a lost cause with porn addiction. He is using your body to get off and completely disconnected from you. He is only attracted to the women he watches. He didn’t deny that he doesn’t find you attractive he just laughed it off on top of rejecting you and going straight to porn. He doesn’t see it as a problem and has no intention of fixing it. Stop trying to be intimate with him. You’re just wasting your time and getting your feelings hurt. Let him keep injuring himself from jerking off. He’ll be completely useless then. Work on your exit plan. This isn’t a battle you can win.
Yeah, I know you don’t have malicious intent but somebody getting mad at me processing or thinking during a fight would definitely cause me to shut down more
That's unfortunate but it's absolutely not your problem. None of his problems are your problems. He's abusive and kinda crazy, you need to completely cut all contact. Send one last text saying that you are ending the relationship officially because of his abusive rants and harassment and if he contacts you again you'll seek a restraining order. You have to be firm. Otherwise you'll be dragged into his rabbit hole with him.