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Lila, 24 y.o.
Location: Riga,Latvia
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That might be true if we actually had sex. Pretty low drive between the two of us
He’s not man enough to take a joke. Sir, don’t try to make this a sexist issue. I would call a girl ridiculous for getting mad at a joke. They were not hurtful jokes. Very lighthearted jokes shouldn’t make you that angry, you probably have angry issues.
Do you mind sharing what was said in the “flirty” texts between you and another person at the beginning of your relationship?
I mean you're welcome to your personal opinions and all, but they're a little off-kilter. The man is 33. The student of his he slept with (emphasis on his student) is 19. One year past “legal adult” – whatever that means, seeing as the word “teen” is still in her age, and she can't legally buy alcohol or other substances (if this is the U.S. that is). So, yeah. There is an imbalance, whether you like it, “believe” it, or not. The man is her teacher, and sleeping with your students is literally never cool, regardless of the age (and in this case, the age is a big factor.) Being a teacher does put you in a position of power over your students, so using that sort of dynamic to get laid will always be wrong, and that's not an option, it's a fact. Maybe if when she was out of school and they met up later, then it wouldn't be an issue, but as it stands now, it is.
Also, he cheated on his girlfriend. You trying to tell me a 19 year old somehow tricked a full-grown, perfectly-capable-of-making-his-own-decisions man into sleeping with her by slipping him a little ganj? I highly doubt that. Think about it, he's literally 14 years older than her. As in, she was exiting the womb while he was in highschool. This guy deserves none of your sympathy and I'm honestly a little confused as to the defense you're trying to even lay down for him. What, do ya know the guy or something?
I hope OP runs and runs far.
They aren’t as close as you thought they were. Drag that pos.
Tell your husband. Hopefully he will be understanding with the medication, etc. Not that it's an excuse but obviously you didn't do well on that medication. Hopefully the fact that you didn't physically cheat will help. You may need to help regain trust by giving him full access to your phone, socials, etc until he feels confidant that you are not communicating with anyone.
BS, he enjoys something and he's exploring that. From what OP wrote he respects her boundaries and talked to her about what he would like. That's healthy and that's the way to go.
They're experimenting and they're finding out what works for her and what doesn't. Everything is done with consent and it's okay to decide that it's not for her. He's still allowed to be into it.
He hasn't actually improved. He just hasn't had the chance to be that awful again.
Just make sure you aren't getting used to a level of abusive anger that is actually quite scary!
You have absolutely zero reason to feel guilty for something you did while you two were broken up. This is an extremely toxic relationship and you need to end it permanently and move on.
Also, for the record, getting matching tattoos with someone is an extremely bad idea, especially when it’s someone who lied to you for your entire relationship and made you feel so shitty about yourself.
God no sex sounds awful to me… as a woman… lol
She clearly does not love him if she is not actively wanting to be intimate with him. Or asexual. But with the other factors I’m betting it’s the first option.
Big red flag ?
Do it. “I like x picture you posted, you look really pretty” will work fine. What's the harm?
When you treat half of your team poorly, they don’t respond well. You created this. And now you’re acting like the victim when you’re really not she is. So man up and let her have what she needs and go find some place to stay.
Probably for the best you found out he was so controlling now, than later.
He doesnt want you to have residency is the biggest concern here. Forget children and use your noggin. You aint ever getting married
He chooses to have two emotional partners in his life at your expense. He may not be wrong in his reasons to get closer to her at the time, but relationship is a commitment that comes with sacrifices. Your connection with your partner is supposed to be special (in monogamy at least).
I think he won't change, and perhaps it wouldn't be fair to expect that from him. You should reconsider whether you want to be with him, or crave more exclusionary relationship.
I would probably think oh, feet, messy foods, bdsm, furries
I have heard of all of these but the food one. I am in my 40s and have never heard of this fetish until now. Now I feel like the old geezer.
And try to understand her position. She gave up her family to be with you. She thought you'd been fully open with her. And now she finds out that you've done videos that were more extreme than she'd ever imagined. I'm quite sure she's a little traumatized having seen it.
Time and therapy will be the only things that can heal this rupture.
Wasn’t there a similar story recently from the guy’s perspective about replacing an I’ll-mannered cat?
Just rehome them to someone who'll actually care, and won't dump them outside. Whatever option you find can hardly be worse than where they are now.
Cringe bro. Are you really that desperate for some action?
If OP buys a gun, the most likely people to be shot with it are him and his kids.
You stay or leave. There is only two choices.
She's already checked out of your 'marriage' by checking in with another guy in a hotel room.
How about this:
You send him this: Cool, I choose to be single rather than dating someone so controlling. Bai
I’m judging from your avatar that you’re a dude. Why would a man say these things to his wife? His newlywed 20-something wife who most consider “pretty” at the very least?