I don’t understand why he’s upset when you cry. I see he may think you’re turning it back on you but I see this as the way you’re expressing your feelings it’s normal to cry and the way he completely dismisses this to the point you’re uncomfortable to do it is telling. Nothing you’ve claimed you said seems like too much or excessive. Leave that man and find someone who actually likes you.
But I've told him several times, explicitly, that I want to go to things. And I'm sorry but “rebelling” isn't a thing when you have controlling and abusive parents.
Make your own decisions. Why would internet strangers know what’s best for you?…. You might be better of listening to your husband since you’re incapable of critical thinking thus probably useless in an actual work force(outside of retail).
What is this about people bringing friends as bodyguards and protectors to talk to your partner?
I’ve seen this happen more lately where the girl brings a friend or family member to meet their partner in a public place without telling them they are about to be ambushed.
My friend was dating a woman for over two years who was recently divorced with 2 kids. She told her partner to meet her at a mall food court for lunch. When he arrived the girl had brought a very aggressive friend who took over the conversation and overstepped the boundaries of helping, creating an uncomfortable situation and acting unnecessarily nasty about these other people’s relationship.
They broke up for a few days but got back together and have been married for several years now. Constant problems and misunderstandings.
This would have been a deal breaker for me. Being set-up, ambushed, and having my relationship dissected by people I never met, in public.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
The only thing that matters here is that him compromising is allowing you to volunteer. WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS MAN THINK HE IS? Does he actually think he has a say in whether or not you volunteer someone. He's a huge controlling asshole. Leave. You will never be truly happy with a man like this.
Agreed. Honestly, there was just too much to reference because I'd end up writing a book of a comment. The man sounds just like a stack of insecurities and emotional abuse tactics dressed up in a trenchcoat made of bright red flags.
There's so many special days we don't have enough days of the year. Really outside Holidays, birthdays and milestones no reason for a celebration. And I am European.
If, IF, you are going to do marriage counseling, the counselor needs to see this list that he sent you. Don't blindside him, make it a condition on you guys going. My guess is he'll refuse because he knows this was a terrible thing to write and give to his spouse.
Look at this list of things you've done already:
Gone outside of your sexual comfort zone (porn, Reddit, etc.) for him. Gone from sex 3x a month to 3x a week. You QUADRUPLED the amount of sex you are having. Lost weight repeatedly (which can have serious long-term health effects on you) Started a job that you hate to support your family financially.
Those are absolutely massive changes that you've made. What has he done?
This seems like blatant emotional manipulation or abuse. He doesn't want you, he wants a fantasy version of “you” instead.
She hasn't been back to the gym in quite a while now so that might not be possible, and while I see your point, it's mostly the mixture of insulting her husband and complimenting my bf's appearance that makes me think she wasn't just being friendly
I'm opposed to situations where one adult is totally financially dependent on another.
I get, extending the period of maternity leave for longer if finances aren't an issue, but with some professions, taking years out impacts your career. All too often, it's women who are affected by this.
You broke up. He needs to respect your boundaries. I would consider going no contact for a while. You don’t owe him an explanation. He can be upset all he wants he doesn’t get to bully you into speaking with him. Especially as you said you want time alone. 7 years is a long time. Both of you will be hurting or reflecting in different ways. Sounds like he is not taking the breakup well. This may become an issue. I would make it known you are not asking for space but cutting ties and block him if necessary. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
Why do you say that? I've been thinking that it may be a problem with the way his brain developed, but I'm so scared to act on anything because I'm not a professional and I don't want to make assumptions.
I get what you're saying. I was just hoping there was something out there I hadn't heard of that could give women a higher libido. I know women with high libidos, they crave sexual contact. They don't have to try and get in the mood for two hours beforehand…it's just a natural normal desire for them to want sex. That's all I'm asking about…if there's another option other than hours of foreplay and psyching yourself up.
The follow up question to ask is why doesn’t he want sex? How often does he want it? Does he understand that you are unhappy? Does he think there is a problem? What’s he willing to do about it? Does he have a low sex drive? Is he using porn?
Is IDK where that answer ends. Or time to figure out the reason?
You accepted the money transfer, right? Like I would have lead him on that you could maybe forgive him if he paid you back, and once you got your money then block the loser.
Then, take a nice deep belly breath…sigh it out. Do that again a few times. Congrats and enjoy your life, stop trying to convince yourself that you don't deserve it ?
Very good point!!! I’ll go through and start saving everything now. Ducks in a row!!
I don’t understand why he’s upset when you cry. I see he may think you’re turning it back on you but I see this as the way you’re expressing your feelings it’s normal to cry and the way he completely dismisses this to the point you’re uncomfortable to do it is telling. Nothing you’ve claimed you said seems like too much or excessive. Leave that man and find someone who actually likes you.
u/ForumsGoblim, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
For sure a dog Is equal to another human being
This being top comment Is awful
But I've told him several times, explicitly, that I want to go to things. And I'm sorry but “rebelling” isn't a thing when you have controlling and abusive parents.
Make your own decisions. Why would internet strangers know what’s best for you?…. You might be better of listening to your husband since you’re incapable of critical thinking thus probably useless in an actual work force(outside of retail).
What is this about people bringing friends as bodyguards and protectors to talk to your partner?
I’ve seen this happen more lately where the girl brings a friend or family member to meet their partner in a public place without telling them they are about to be ambushed.
My friend was dating a woman for over two years who was recently divorced with 2 kids. She told her partner to meet her at a mall food court for lunch. When he arrived the girl had brought a very aggressive friend who took over the conversation and overstepped the boundaries of helping, creating an uncomfortable situation and acting unnecessarily nasty about these other people’s relationship.
They broke up for a few days but got back together and have been married for several years now. Constant problems and misunderstandings.
This would have been a deal breaker for me. Being set-up, ambushed, and having my relationship dissected by people I never met, in public.
No thanks.
Hello /u/notnat7,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
No, it’s weird
she didn't go because she got cold feet homie, she still fully intended to fuck him
Paternity tests should be mandatory in all cases.
The only thing that matters here is that him compromising is allowing you to volunteer. WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS MAN THINK HE IS? Does he actually think he has a say in whether or not you volunteer someone. He's a huge controlling asshole. Leave. You will never be truly happy with a man like this.
Agreed. Honestly, there was just too much to reference because I'd end up writing a book of a comment. The man sounds just like a stack of insecurities and emotional abuse tactics dressed up in a trenchcoat made of bright red flags.
There's so many special days we don't have enough days of the year. Really outside Holidays, birthdays and milestones no reason for a celebration. And I am European.
Do you have a dental college around you? They do dental work for very cheap.
Hell, that's a drive to the closest hospital for a mental health check!
If, IF, you are going to do marriage counseling, the counselor needs to see this list that he sent you. Don't blindside him, make it a condition on you guys going. My guess is he'll refuse because he knows this was a terrible thing to write and give to his spouse.
Look at this list of things you've done already:
Gone outside of your sexual comfort zone (porn, Reddit, etc.) for him. Gone from sex 3x a month to 3x a week. You QUADRUPLED the amount of sex you are having. Lost weight repeatedly (which can have serious long-term health effects on you) Started a job that you hate to support your family financially.
Those are absolutely massive changes that you've made. What has he done?
This seems like blatant emotional manipulation or abuse. He doesn't want you, he wants a fantasy version of “you” instead.
She hasn't been back to the gym in quite a while now so that might not be possible, and while I see your point, it's mostly the mixture of insulting her husband and complimenting my bf's appearance that makes me think she wasn't just being friendly
And God forbid they split up.
I'm opposed to situations where one adult is totally financially dependent on another.
I get, extending the period of maternity leave for longer if finances aren't an issue, but with some professions, taking years out impacts your career. All too often, it's women who are affected by this.
You broke up. He needs to respect your boundaries. I would consider going no contact for a while. You don’t owe him an explanation. He can be upset all he wants he doesn’t get to bully you into speaking with him. Especially as you said you want time alone. 7 years is a long time. Both of you will be hurting or reflecting in different ways. Sounds like he is not taking the breakup well. This may become an issue. I would make it known you are not asking for space but cutting ties and block him if necessary. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.
I'm Is she typically the type of person to lie and hide things?
True, but those women don't lie about it being their first time.
Honestly the situation won't change. Humans are creatures of habit even if he tried to cut the ties it's unlikely he won't fall back.
I'm glad they are both good people and you can definitely let him know why you are breaking it off.
That said I would break it off because his mom is so dependent on him alone. That his whole growth and development is on pause
Why do you say that? I've been thinking that it may be a problem with the way his brain developed, but I'm so scared to act on anything because I'm not a professional and I don't want to make assumptions.
I get what you're saying. I was just hoping there was something out there I hadn't heard of that could give women a higher libido. I know women with high libidos, they crave sexual contact. They don't have to try and get in the mood for two hours beforehand…it's just a natural normal desire for them to want sex. That's all I'm asking about…if there's another option other than hours of foreplay and psyching yourself up.
Thank you ! I felt sick to my stomach after reading this , now I can relax.
The follow up question to ask is why doesn’t he want sex? How often does he want it? Does he understand that you are unhappy? Does he think there is a problem? What’s he willing to do about it? Does he have a low sex drive? Is he using porn?
Is IDK where that answer ends. Or time to figure out the reason?
Whataboutism? And do you really not see the difference between sweat shops and cartel members flying people alive?
You accepted the money transfer, right? Like I would have lead him on that you could maybe forgive him if he paid you back, and once you got your money then block the loser.
Then, take a nice deep belly breath…sigh it out. Do that again a few times. Congrats and enjoy your life, stop trying to convince yourself that you don't deserve it ?