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Did he mention he did not believe in marriage from the very beginning? Or is this something new?
Has there been a temporary circumstance that has delayed marriage- such as financial hardship or illness?
Has he explained WHY he is opposed to marriage? Why does he have no interest in it?
Why is everyone acting like she 40 or something. She is also in her 20s, people are acting like she a pedophile, when she just 24.
It really isn’t lol
I have no interest in marriage. To anyone, ever. So there's that I guess.
I thought that was a cool joke. But hey I'm a cool girlfriend! My boyfriend were in the hard tub the other day making out. We were really into it and I put his face in between my little boobies and started moving his head all in my non cleavage. He said hey now be careful there isn't no cushion you might break my nose! We both started cracking up?????. Seems like she may be upset about other stuff? Who knows…..
Is it just rent, utilities, and housework? What about insurance, debt, and vehicles? Of course no one sane would ask someone who worked a 16hr shift to lift a finger, but I also assume that he is cooking and keeping up with the laundry while he is at home because he needs clean clothes and food too. If you lived alone the house would stay in the same state that you left it in, that isn't always true when you online with another person, so he works, pays all the bills, and in all likelihood does the daily chores around the house. I am not pulling out pitchforks and torches for either person, just trying to look at this and apply some thought and experience, which comes with a healthy amount of conjecture because we have to assume that OP is 100% honest because anything less calls everything into question. OP's story has some holes in the logic and I think she is doing what people do, maximize the other person's faults while minimizing her own.
well many in the subreddit believe if it was before you both agreed to be dating only each others it fair game to sleep with others and it not cheating or wrong……
Please dump him
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One day, your dog will snap and attack your bf. An animal can only take so much abuse. And your dog will be euthanized as a result. That’s where this is headed. And your dog will end up dead.
Think about that.
Appreciate the brutal honesty of this response. When you put it like that I feel kinda dumb
18 and 21 are different life stages, at least in the US, however that doesn’t automatically mean it’s an issue. Shoot your shot, the worst thing she can say is no.
And what did they say?
I think, it depends on your preferences and bodily comfort more.
I simply asked my then boyfriend. But we discussed every single thing prior to, so…
You can trim and then see how it's going. Maybe, your man is all for Indiana Jones-ing in the jungles.
Most normal game on Patrion ?
Children can feel strong and proud in the face of bullying if they are taught from a young age to know who they and their family are, where they came from, and to see the value in it.
It might help with your trauma for you to talk more with your parents about their journey, about what you experienced, and just generally become more comfortable with your culture. It sounds like your reaction to racism has been to shut off that part of yourself.
Yes, I was all… “do you make out with your girlfriend or your mom?”
If it's your mom, then her opinion matters.
His relationship with her is more important to him than his relationship with you. This is cheating. Additionally, being so consuming by gaming at the age of 35 is immature and, to me, more than a little pathetic. This is your cheating gamer husband though, so what matters is what you think. What do you think OP?
It sounds like he was genuinely afraid he’d lose you if he told you he’d lost his job, and he thought he had things under control when he found a new job, and when he realized that wasn’t going to work he decided to come clean. That much of it doesn’t seem like a red flag to me. But the part I mentioned in my first comment is problematic to say the least.
My friend most couples will straight-up consider this cheating.
Doesn't matter if she's known him a couple of days or years – you don't go kissing other folks like that.
How do you know for sure that she hasn't done more and either not admitted it, or you don't want to believe it?
This isn't just an issue of forgiveness, it's also a matter of trust – for most I imagine it'd be a real, genuine and hard struggle to know their partner has the integrity to be 100% honest – there'd be a little voice telling you “she's not told you the whole truth” the whole time.
Don't make the error of telling yourself that “you aren't good enough” and you'd be forgiving her based on what you see as your fault, despite her being the one who's strayed – you're plenty good enough, you've admitted your faults and….
Well let's be straight- she hasn't apologised or shown any remorse – not so much as a “I should've just had a conversation with you, told you how I was feeling and made it clear I'm not happy”, all she's done is kiss another guy, let you blame yourself and sit there twiddling her fingers saying she needs to “think”.
You if anyone should be in her shoes thinking about your relationship and what this means that she'd do that unapologetically.
Maybe, sure, you are at fault also for not giving her more attention or whatever – but there's a big gap between “not spending more time with my partner” and “kissed another person” without someone, at some point, at least opening their mouth to say “I'm not happy”.
Id go to dudes house, play show and tell with them messages and his wife. Then take her out to eat.
Is she a bad person and unworthy of being in a relationship with because of this? Outside of this discovery she's been very loyal and a good partner. So it's a tough one for me.
Thank you so much
Good for you enjoy being single. Do something for yourself to make you happy. I did after after a painful break up.
Yes, him watching porn to get in the mood for sex with you isn't normal.
Sorry.
I think you can do better than this guy.
Are you telling us that YOU know better what your wife wants than your OWN WIFE? Idk but i think that she knows what’s the best for her because you know? She is a GROWN ASS WOMAN and can make decisions by herself, she don’t need a man for that.
Because you think you have the right to decide every single woman in the world wants to be alone from men just because you personally do.
You are never too busy to talk to somebody you actually want. She is probably “busy” with somebody else. Just walk, you shouldn't have to put in that much effort this early in a relationship. Match your persons energy, she obviously doesn't care enough to not ghost you so stop putting energy into it.
Go to Surviving infidelity.com. It helped me with a cheating wife.
Thank you. I was so stunned when she first told me, that I really had no response except, “ok I hope you found whatever you were looking for.”
Tell him to stop talking to you all the time and to start talking to a therapist!
Seriously, you can't fix this guy's problems. You can't give him enough attention to satisfy him because apparently 24/7 isn't enough for him. It's not your job in life to make him happy or to feel safe. You weren't put on this earth to talk to him or relieve his anxiety 24/7.
He's not sweet. I've never heard of a real-life princess held hostage by phone. You're being emotionally manipulated. He controls ALL your time to be with “him” so he can ensure you're not spending ANY TIME with anyone else. That's creepy AF.
The best thing you can do for yourself is text him (don't talk to him, he's manipulative) that this relationship does not work for you any longer and you want a different relationship long-term. THEN BLOCK HIM everywhere and move on. You should get some therapy, too, or at least read some self-help books to understand WHY you're in an emotionally abusive relationship.
You are allowing yourself to be his lifeline. You are pushing him, but that only goes so far. There are no real life motivators for him to get a job. He doesn’t seem to think it’s affecting your relationship, which you need to communicate with him. He also doesn’t see the need to rush to get a job because he has no responsibility to expenses. He lives with you and needs the same heat, hard water, and electricity you do. None of his way of life is at risk of changing because he has been falling back on you and your income to keep things status quo.
I am a nurse. If someone was freeloading off me while I bust my ass I would not have any patience and they would be broken to their core. Explain to him you will not push him anymore but that you have expectations and if they are not met then no only will be no longer life with you but you will no longer be together. Explain to him it’s not an ultimatum. It’s a decision. He has to decide if he wants to actually put in the work to get a job, and right now he’s deciding to half-ass it. There are no consequences for his actions.
If he is not suffering from a clinical depression (diagnosed by an actual mental health professional and not WebMD), he needs to get off his ass and prove to you he’s at least putting in a legitimate effort to find a job. I’m the meantime, there are plenty of jobs that don’t require a degree that he can do toget out of the house and draw in some sort of income, even if it’s minimal.
How the hell did you last 10 years together and, more to the point, why on earth would you get married with this extremely obvious problem (and it’s a BIG one) hanging over the relationship?
This is far beyond the pay grade of strangers on the internet
So you just gonna wait for him to do it?
A good friend of mine found child porn on her husband's computer while he was on a business trip. It turned her world upside down. She was able to get movers to come and move out before he even got back.
I am so sorry this happened to you. It's terrible. What's even more terrible is that he is victimizing children by buying online porn with them. His excuses are disgusting.
If you have proof you should turn him into the authorities. It's a horrible crime.
Get him to store his furniture if you two don't plan to use it, and jointly pay for that as well. Also put aside a fund in case he has to move out for any reason.
So with that and utilities, $1500 sounds reasonable.
You don't want someone staying with you just because the rent is free. That's a terrible idea. Two is cheaper than one but you aren't a sugar mama.
So, have it a month after her due date. Why do you have to wait a whole year?
She initially thought I was the one who leaked the pics.
It’s her way of giving you notice – telling you that when she finds someone else she’s going to take it, regardless of whether she’s in a relationship with you or not.
So don’t give her the chance to.
End it, tell her that as she obviously doesn’t love you like you love her, she is now free to be single and find her “one true love”
Wow that’s a fucked up thing to say