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This is a huge opportunity for you to strengthen your bond with him. What a gift, honestly, to have this information that would have probably taken him a very long time to reveal to you, if he ever did. Whether through a letter as others have mentioned or by just straight up saying you accidentally overheard: Reassure him that you don’t view him as a problem, that you love him, and that you love having him in your home. That he is your family. He needs to know.
Here in Panama we have a say:
“God gives bread to those who don't have teeth”
I'm sorry you can't enjoy what life is offering you right now. That girl is going to be gone soon son.
The correct time is one week ago.
No but it’s not my first time showing up late, I’ve been late a lot I deserve death
So if I go to a gay bar with gay friends and I'm straight that means I'm going to end up with another guy?
I understand your anger, a person you love is being hurt and nothing's being done about it.
However, if he doesn't want to talk to them, there's not much you can do. This is a longstanding family dynamic that he is too intertwined in to see clearly and he doesn't seem ready to admit “defeat”.
I would make sure you're as nice to him as can be and let him vent, but without suggesting solutions for now, but still voicing how it makes you feel. It's okay to say “that makes me upset on your behalf, I don't think that's very nice of them”, but mostly just listen and make sure he has a nice Christmas with you if nothing else. Maybe if he's around your supportive family more, he might start to realise some things about his own family and their patterns.
I will say this though, you need to think long and naked about this relationship, because his family dynamic is very unhealthy and makes him not stand up for himself, which could become an issue for you guys down the line.
So while I'd give him some grace right now, I would also think on it some more. Does he never stand up for himself? Does he hinge everything on his family's approval? Does he go out of his way for them apart from gift giving? Does he see them a lot? If they were mean to you, what would he do? Etc.
Happy holidays, I wish you all the best!
Me personally would ban the show, if it’s causing him to act out so much.
Idk that I like that you did it, but I also have no sympathy for people who cheat even if it was in the past.
I'm getting weird vibes from this interaction though. Feels like your motivations are not kosher.
If you’re not proud of who your partner is and you’d rather hide him from your nearest and dearest because he’s that off-putting I would seriously move on. You are too young to waste time on someone who doesn’t see anything wrong with one of your customers calling you useless.
Unshackle your boyfriend from this relationship and return to the streets.
I get what you’re saying. He definitely could’ve helped more. But like…it was his birthday party. You got shitfaced at his party and for what? He could say the same thing about you. Expecting you to be the partner who knows there is a time and place for everything.
Edit: you can still break up though even if you’re still living in the same household. If you don’t see yourself moving past this mistrust and it happens a lot then you should save up and think of options when it comes to leaving him. You can’t trust him and you’re 1000% valid in feeling that way. Plus if his roommates are as bad as you say they are this that’s also a concern that he isn’t listening to you. I don’t know your relationship and I can only go off of what you provided. And all I see from the post is that you got too drunk at a surprise party for your partner.
She doesn't want to know about it. That's her one boundary here. Please don't share this. You need to communicate on the specifics and plan this better, but don't tell her who you're seeing. If it feels wrong, don't do it. Find someone who doesn't feel wrong to be with.
I feel like the details are scanty on this one, she let a another man kiss her, that's already bad. She stopped anything else, that's good. She's most of the way out the door on this relationship. You admit you've been a fun partner in the past, and an inattentive one lately. You're both mature adults (allegedly).
So why haven't you talked with her about what's going on? Why did she do this and do either of you even want to fix it? Looking at your ages, it could be that she wants to have kids and realized you're not the partner she wants to do that with. It could be that neither of you wants kids and she just wants to find someone more attentive. Talk to her.
My guess is your desperation is a bit of trauma bonding though; faced with imminent loss, you appreciate what you previously took for granted.
I am not saying what she did was right but I would definitely not be happy if some guy was putting his head on my girlfriend.
“Hey man…” sounds like he's talking to a guy friend, or he wanted someone who may have been reading his texts to think it was a guy. Does he normally call you man?
That’s…. exactly what they suggested she do….
Get the fuck out of there.
following for part 2
She was invited, she just didn't go.
For what started it:
what actually started it was that my girlfriend thought my mom was talking shit about her. My mom was talking about something completely different, but that completely tarnished any future relationship of theirs because after that incident, my mom did not like my girlfriend, vice versa.
I don't care whether or not her parents like me, as long as their good with my son that's what I care about. I don't engage in any type of arguments with them. It's much more smooth sailing that way.
The thing is with certain mental illnesses, it's a life long fight and there's no real cure.
Bi-polar is one of those illnesses. Even with perfect compliance and always following the doctor's advice, there's a risk that the meds stop working.
Yeah I'm with your wife on this one. You have a history of lying and now you've started lying to her about other women. She now doesn't trust you or this friendship. To be honest, I wouldn't either. Are you willing to throw away your marriage for this friendship?
read your post
read your responses
why are you with her, again?
Jesus, stop wasting time and money on anything other than an attorney for custody and other joint property, getting your exit plan and leave. This is toxic.
It is, especially in the way you're doing it (quasi step dad role); the relationship is super new and like most starting relationships isn't likely to last (just the odds), but the kids are getting attached. It's unfair to the kids. That's why kids shouldn't even meet the partner until the relationship is well-established, a common ballpark is 6 months.
Also you're not actually dating, which is the part you're missing. You come over, function like a roommate/ jr stepdaddy helping with household tasks, and she decompresses in her usual manner at the end of the day, as if you didn't exist. You. Skipped. Dating.
This is a good point. Too me…I’ve been distancing myself from them as a couple because he seems to be a narcissist but, he makes millions of dollars and she doesn’t need to work if she doesn’t want to…so I guess this is fine for her.
He buys her things and “takes care” of her from what I see. I’m not in the relationship so I dk the truth…but, she seems do less with her friends overall these days. I know it will only get worse if he is psychopath and will isolate her…and I know he is making her sign a prenup.
That's…not the point they are making. Men online in every country. So saying he doesn't trust other men on your trip doesn't really hold water. He trusts other men in your day to day life here, but not there?
Your boyfriend honestly sounds like an extremely fragile, manipulative tool. He's trying to make you feel like crap for a totally normal thing, even threatening to quit his job over it.
Going on a trip for 5 days is not crazy or unusual, especially since you already told you about your intentions to do so.
Be very on guard when talking to him, because he will try flip the script and make you seem like the crazy and unreasonable one and make himself the victim when you are the only victim here.