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He is a very bad boyfriend. I would lose a couple hundred pounds very quickly in this situation.
My wife does the same thing. People here don’t get it because they have never experienced it. It is dishonest, manipulative and dysfunctional.
My wife has been diagnosed with a personality disorder. Among other things, she is incapable of making an honest request, nor having an honest discussion where we compromise on anything. Instead, she pokes and probes and pushes to try to get me to do what she wants without asking. It creates situations where we can’t just discuss what we both want, nor reach any kind of compromise. Every situation becomes one where we each either win or lose, and she is the sole judge of what the outcome should be. And because she never makes a direct request, she also never needs to feel grateful when she gets what she wants. There is more to it, but the bottom line is that it is the opposite of good, open, honest communication (as some here have mistakenly characterized it).
Financially speaking, this is free land. Five acres. That's nothing to sneeze at. Maybe compromise? He's spent years living in your hometown. You can compromise by living there and visiting your hometown occasionally. Then revisit making it a second home and possibly renting it then living somewhere else. You have your lives ahead of you. Good luck!
ahahaha this made me laugh thank you ill try my best
I am so so sorry about your son. That's devestating. I hope you and he and your whole family find some peace soon.
Omg, maybe? Those are pretty lowkey “menaces” haha. I just think it’s so much better if it even indirectly addressed his incompetence in a way that seems coincidental.
Break up with her, she is incredibly insecure, because you want to meet your mom every 2-3 weeks is not a reason to break up. So many people have good relationships with their parents….
And if after that huge amount of physical exercise
(boxing your pillow or throwing it allover your place may also help to vent your anger. Or to going to a lonly place and just yell it off until it is all gone…)
…sit down. Write him a letter – to NEVER POST- pour out all your anger and hatred, disappointment, sadness, grief, distrust.
Then tear it. And restart. Do this over and over and over. Until you are back inside yourself and you feel at peace again.
If this takes one week… fine. It takes the time it takes.
Mostly after the first few times aspects pop up that have not been mentioned in the first versions, so couldn't get a rest.
When you are really good and at peace with the letter….
tear it up and burn it. Or tear it up and burry it in your garden, in a wood… wherever. Or tear it up and throw it into a river.
Whichever way to finally part with that subject you chose:
put it away. Don't keep it. NEVER send it as noo good will come of it.
Sending those parting letters means leaving behind lose ends.
An ex partner having behaved that way may never be able to admit his fault or ask for your pardon. But more likely will kick you for not letting go. Or even come back to hurt you more.
So never give them that chance.
And once you are done it's tine for some spa time for yourself and your wounded pride and soul.
Get girls support. Or support of any kind. And heal.
And learn to directly act on your own red flags with the next guy. You already see them and feel them physically.
Learn to trust yourself even more.
Wishing you all the best.
I think long distance relationships are another experiment that people are going to find out doesn’t work that well. There are a few they’re only saw they can make it work if they’re committed enough and it short duration.
However, it doesn’t seem that you even like what’s going on right now, so I don’t know that it’s gonna work for you. You may have to say this isn’t gonna work for me and figure out something else. But sit down and talk to him about it.
You do have to wonder about your girlfriend’s intense reaction to separation from someone she’s only known for a year. It is at least reminiscent of emotional cheating. If the two of you didn’t get together, is it possible the two of them would have dated? Also his lack of resistance is curious. If you’re girlfriend and he were such good friends, then why didn’t he fight for that friendship? Perhaps his girlfriend noticed something that hints at a possibility of more than just friends. Perhaps he felt that your girlfriend was too intense or wanted more from him and his new relationship is a good excuse to distance himself. You’ve given no indication that there was any physical cheating and anything I’ve suggested is just conjecture. But things don’t add up. The friendship was not as it seemed. It could have been more than it seemed thus explaining your girlfriend’s reaction. It could have been less than it seemed thus explaining his reaction. Or it could have been both with each of them seeing the friendship differently.
I realize you asked about reconciling their friendship and the appropriateness of his girlfriend’s boundaries. And I basically did nothing but question that friendship. Directly responding to your post: friendships change when you get into a relationship. It’s fairly common for a new partner to be insecure about the certainty of their relationship. Common doesn’t necessarily mean healthy. So I’m not surprised that he agreed to distance himself from close female friends to assure his girlfriend. If you want to mend this friendship divorce then you need to talk to his girlfriend not him. Explain to her (preferably more convincingly than you did here) that there is no threat in their friendship. Coming from you, it will seem a lot less suspicious than if he or your girlfriend spoke to her. They would only strengthen her suspicions.
Have you tried talking with him about your insecurities? Setting a trap for him is a really shitty thing to do and isn't a long-term solution. If you feel like you can't trust him, it might be better for you both to break up. If I found out that my bf tried to test me, I would be livid. This whole thing is a huge red flag
That's mean… I didn't even do anything
But one pic of them with their Dad tagged and you’re disrespected. You’re disrespectful of them.
As someone who was cheated on by a wife…sorry dude but your marriage is already over. As someone else said, your wife and her “friend” are saying while you pay the bills. She’s lying to you, your friend is also lying to you, she’s blaming you for her unhappiness (exact same thing happened to me…wife sat on her ass at home all day while I worked to support us.) You’re workmen very hot trying to make her happy but she’s already checked out. Best advice I can give you is, hire an attorney. Warning: it’s going to hurt. You have a kid with this person and she doesn’t work…it’s gonna suck dude. Sorry but this crap happens to most men eventually.
I'm always wrong on here. I'm usually the one fighting your position haha. This one's even too extreme for me. It's pretty obvious but whatever man I don't really care. Hopefully the op reads my comments and thinks about both sides
I was divorced and on my own with a kid at 21, I get it.
I'm 46 now. I've been married to an amazing man for over 20 years. We raised my son together and had 2 more kids. We have sex daily and he adores me. I can leave him alone with our children and the dogs.
Run. Someone better will come along.
No.