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I agree. All I can do is be a friend.
She said she wasnt gonna leave him, did you read the post at all
I’m confused, what you’re expecting here. Your trust seems broken over the phone call. I’m not going to give an opinion on whether that is right or wrong, but from your comments it made you lose trust. Did looking at the messages even stop you from thinking that something was there? Unfortunately, whatever boundaries that were set in your relationship, you both felt were crossed and it was going to turn into a major issue. Probably for the best she ended it now, I’m sure she could see what was ahead.
The healthiest relationships happen when two whole people decide to overlap their lives. I used to say that I wasn’t looking for my other half, because I’m not a half. It should be like a Venn diagram!
I find it hot to believe a Reddit mod would abuse their power like that
Are there other ways that he treats his time as more important than yours? That he treats his convenience as more important than basic consideration towards you? That he prioritizes himself above you? That he buys his laziness with your labor?
Think about it long and hot.
Now imagine how that treatment expands and grows as you act more like a family unit. Imagine pets and kids with that behavior.
Your time always treated as disposable while his is precious. Your efforts the default scenario, unappreciated and unseen while his deserve celebration.
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Well the only way getting back together with someone works is one or both of you putting in real effort to change. Normally, change is something that takes years and no contact to pull off: generally when people get back with exes they settle into their old patterns.
IMO, as you're coming to terms with your diagnosis it's good for you to be without her.
Ultimately, this is a decision you both get to make as a unit. Your parents don't get to decide who you are relationship with. Their support is not required, and you aren't going to get it until you two demonstrate that you're better for one another than you were before (and even then, they might not).
If you two try again, do it in a probationary manner. Don't waste time when toxicity rears its head again. You'll just be treading the same path you went down before. History has a tendency to repeat itself.
Not only is your brain still developing, your body is still developing. You may naturally change into a shape closer to your ideal.
I'll use the analogy of buying an expensive sports car to make myself look better to women. I can buy one but it wouldn't change who I am, it would be unjustifiably expensive, and the kind of women it would attract are the ones I really wouldn't like because they'd be horribly superficial.
I hope you'll rethink the surgery, especially as the odds of people staying together a long time when starting so young are typically low.
You are a good man.
I get it I do. I’m not saying he did anything wrong. I think it’s more of a psychological thing on her part and something that she needs to work through. The initial shock of seeing him like that when she thought he wouldn’t be like that can be scary.
A remorseful cheater would gladly forfeit their right to privacy.
OPs wife is not deserving of privacy in any case and OP is not snooping he’s gathering evidence. There’s a big difference
Absolutely agree with this.
This is completely unhinged on your part.
Break up with her for her own sake. You are exhibiting behavior that strongly indicates either serious mental illness or other unresolved issues that are effecting your ability to act like a rational adult.
I say this not as an insult, but from a place of serious concern.
Na prolly $30 or $40 top shelf espresso martinis, a 500 dollar bottle of champagne x3, 2 x 140 tomahawk ribeye etc.
I work at a fancy restuarant. It adds up FAST
TLDR is tell her how you feel and get counselling.
I appreciate hot honesty.
With the factors you describe, I would say they are indeed playing a part here, she will be recalling earlier times of stress and how that stress was relieved looking for a solution, this will have brought up old feelings.
That doesn’t help how you are feeling though. I’m sure most if not all people have had the thought of having sex with someone else, they just didn’t say it, it won’t take that feeling away but it will put it in perspective.
Your wife sounds like a bit of a train wreck, but you married her so I’m going to assume she has some good qualities, and that ending the relationship is not what you are looking for here. If you have been thinking of ending the relationship, that is definitely something to explore because what you are describing has serious potential to destroy your mental health.
Tell her the truth about how you feel, she will either reassure you and prioritise you (this can also be a benefit when there are other stressors because it pushes them into the background, if they become busy solving this problem that they can solve which is a better feeling).
Or she will focus on negatives in a loop, not address them in healthy ways, and go off the rails.
Telling the truth and getting counselling is my advice, they will be a clear head keeping things on track, and equipped with the tools and experience to help ( some are better than others, keep that in mind).
How was he an idiot – he didn't do anything wrong?!
Are we supposed to magically find the man and ask him for his side? If you’re gonna be mad over it being a one sided story then this really isn’t the place for you ??
Did you have a discussion first?
The relief he sought was to ejaculate. Are you ok with your boyfriend paying for hand jobs? Blow jobs? Sex? Rim jobs? Does it matter if he’s covered or not?
Your guy friend is probably right that there is no emotion involved, but only you get to decide if that’s cheating or not.
Thank you. ❤️