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I’m glad you decided to digress, because it really didn’t feel like you were listening to anything I said— and your comments were somewhat offensive.
It sounds like you are in a difficult situation. Discovering that your boyfriend is going to be a father with an old fling is a shock, and it's understandable that you are feeling confused and unsure of how to proceed.
In this situation, it's important to consider what is best for you and your own well-being. If you feel like you are unable to support your boyfriend through this difficult time, it may be best to end the relationship and focus on yourself. However, if you feel like you are able to offer him support and are willing to try to work through this together, it may be worth staying in the relationship and seeing if you can help each other through this difficult time.
Ultimately, the decision is up to you and what you feel is best for your own well-being. Remember to take care of yourself and seek support from friends and family during this difficult time.
It's very common and very normal to fantasise while having sex with our partner. My friend said I should give it a go, and my partner afterwards said it was the best sex we had have lol I told him I was fantasing about some movie actor and he laughed and said well I'm glad you enjoyed it too.
I think if it was more of an obsession where it's a regular thing and she couldn't have sex without thinking about someone else I'd be concerned and asking a professional about it.
See.. I didn’t know I could do that thanks
No need to wait – go for it!
That’s a sad reality isn’t it, I’m barely part of that gen. However I’ve been going on dates with this girl for 4months now but we’ve always liked each other and she shows it and interest from time to time especially when I don’t reach out as if she really does like me. I wanna get serious and that’s what I’m gonna ask her soon. I know she doesn’t own me shit but I thought she would’ve deleted tinder by now even after all the dates and sleeping and meeting her friends that we did. Bottom line I want something real :/
It's been many years since I've been to a regular doctor. It was on my list to find a primary care physician this year but I never got around to it. I should prioritize that
You are in an abusive relationship.
Take all the time you need to cone to terms with that, then educate yourself and start the process of building yourself up, and getting out and away from it.
Your problem is not what the title says. As you say yourself, “When have I suffered enough?” You would have suffered enough after her original upset and maybe two or three times of her mentioning it.
But that's bot your problem. She is controlling and manipulative as hell. You are in an abusive relationship. You need to leave.
The only way I can think for this to be not creepy is if he is actually very secretly into fashion and when he looks stares at a girl he is daydreaming about that fashion show where they critique peoples clothing.
It was uncalled for and weird, yes. Abusive is a massive stretch. Someone else here said it's divorce-worthy. Seems like y'all have never had a relationship with a live! human.
You are in denial of what your parents did to your wife or how they have treated her in the past. We need full details of what has been happening.
You don’t have to be anymore though. You got this and don’t need him.
Lol fr I was like why is everyone cool about the friend ?
You know all these things…yet, don’t know what to do? Yes, you do….you just don’t like the answer.
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she just airing out the sex bag
Dead of laughter.
His body, his choice. At 40, injectable test is generally a good idea. He needs to do his blood tests and give blood occasionally.
So you keep doing failed methods to meet people?
Shouldn't improving that issue be the focus of your post?
Married? Have you been to her house? Met any family?
Ok – your girl friends have it right.
It sounds like you have communicated what you want from the relationship very clearly.
And he has very different ideas.
Either be happy in a shit relationship or leave and find a better one that helps your self esteem and whatever else you want.
Yeah I 100% do not understand why you came to this conclusion, especially given the response to your last post. She doesn’t want to separate or pursue this guy, what good could possibly come from forcing her?
I don't think they're justifying cheating, they're justifying the conversation.
You can tell from the division in the comments that it's far from firm that the wife cheated emotionally, because once you get out of the more obvious forms of physical or emotional cheating, you get a lot of gray area – like is flirting cheating? Because then the vast majority of us have skirted that line many times in many relationships. Is locking eyes with someone across the bar but never meeting or even talking to them cheating?
Everyone has a personal line the further away you get from the more socially-defined boundaries of cheating.
It seems like most people who are in the “on the husband's side” thing aren't really grasping what the husband is ACTUALLY saying (rather than what they think he's saying). He keeps insisting that he's doing this for them or for her, but it's very obvious that he's doing the separation for him – for whatever reason that may be. HE clearly wants HER to date the coworker, which she has multiple times said she has no interest or desire to do.
Whether OP is trying to fuck around with other people out of a childish sense of “making it even”, is trying to get his rocks off thinking about his wife getting dicked down by the coworker, or is genuinely stupid enough to think this separation is a good thing, what's going to happen is the wife maturely continuing on with individual therapy and realizing her husband is immature and non-communicative.
I can imagine if your ex was so involved in your life, tons of aspects of your life changed.
I think the biggest thing for me was kind of working on myself, but really it was taking care of myself. I hadn't been very good at that but that's what actually helped me cope through the grief. Therapy was super helpful, and working out of course which I do a lot. I love to read now and spend time with really good friends and family.
Why are you getting defensive as a woman who is fine with porn but then calling someone who doesn't weird? You don't come across as tolerant, and your viewpoint isn't the “correct” one. Because everyone is different.
Why did she shave her privates if it stopped at kisses?
Has he ever asked for a sleep study?
We were animals that needed to reproduce. Nowadays it isn't important anymore. Or people wouldn't be in monogamy relationships. If you're fine with it and your partner using it too, then it's fine. But calling someone controlling and possessive just because they don't like their partner watching this stuff, that's just rude.
No, you're wrong. Just because I wear a mini skirt, it isn't an invitation of men and women to be a pervert creep. I don't want to be sexual object. And I am pretty damn sure there are tons of people who think the same.
Yikes, you the villain here Op
It kind of sounds like he met up with her with weed & drinks to see if could get her to let down her guard and talk her into sleeping with him. Whether or not this actually happened, who knows. But unless your GF is extremely naive, then the whole situation is very odd and strange.
Nope never ever use a child as a bargaining chip to get a ex back that’s is literally the worst thing you can do. You need to make the decision with yourself on if you can rasie this child or not by yourself and if the dad wants to come back cool but if he doesn’t well you will be already prepared
God I read this as “I’ve dated diabetics like this”
I admit I have my own insecurities that I am actively working to heal . I take a lot of responsibility for my shadow work and triggers. However he stone walls me anytime I try to communicate with him . For the littlest things not even including other people . Over clothes , food, etc … if I bring something up to him or openly express that it bothers me and would like to discuss it he ignores me and avoids all conversations. I told him at the beginning of our relationship I wanted to get us into marriage counseling due to our family backgrounds before we had children so we can avoid passing down those dysfunctions.. at first he said yes many times and then when it came down to it he backed out and said he doesn’t need help while I have gotten my counselor and been working with her .
I don't agree with bachelor bachelorette parties in general. It's seen as a last chance to do stuff with the opposite sex before you're married, yet the commitment is already made. I threw strip clubs in there as I've been around Reddit for far too long. This guy is not ready to give up the party lifestyle.
thats like 75% of the porn out there
The fuck are you doing with your life?
Seriously do you realize how stupid all of that mess is and how a little bit of common sense could have prevented all of that.
If you get rejected then you stop talking to the person
You don't stay friends with someone because you hope they change their mind about dating you
You don't stay in a relation that goes only one way
You don't demand something from your friend.
You don't expect someone to care about your feelings, if she doesn't care about your feeling then too bad she doesn't care and won't care and you can't force her to care.
Did you even read your own post, can't you see how it is just a complete stupid mess.
Just cut her off, learn from this and reflect on yourself for allowing such nonsense from happening.
Sounds like a misogynistic hypocrite to me.
You're better off without. It's never worth your time to be with someone who doesn't view you as an equal (and who gets so upset over something that happened before them)
Most people don’t think a girl having a threesome with 2 guys is disgusting, I do find his sexual selfishness and fetishization of bisexual women disgusting.
This might actually be the biggest red flag yet.
I wouldn’t bother confronting him, just stop talking to him. As for your wife, dawg, that dude didn’t con her into anything. You are acting like your wife was a lost puppy who needed to be rescued. She chose to have your friend shoot these very hot photos. End of story. The bigger issue is apparently you wife posing nude for your friends. You can ditch bad friends, but what is your plan for your wife? Stop deluding yourself that your friend is to blame for this.
Welcome to the internet.
It's all dark all the time
I'm sure you've never forgotten any details of something that you read in a short break hours ago ? like I said, no need to be a twat about it but I hope you feel better for it.
Well you've already made a fool of yourself. Maybe in your next study session, apologize to your group. I mean you are going to have to go back or fail class. So apologize to her, to the whole group. Admit that you don't understand social cues,. And basically beg for forgiveness or at least tolerance so you can finish project.
I think “going away” to explore a new culture could be exactly what she needs, especially to find inspiration and also determine if part of her depression is because of being stagnant in the same town her whole life. It can offer clarity on her needs and then she does need to bring that information to her partner to discuss how to best ensure they are both getting their needs met.
Can you give me an example of something you do she doesn’t like? My ex used to say I was always “acting” like the victim ( which was complete bullshit) she was using this tactic to manipulate me. You should also never be told you’re wrong for trying to communicate and talk about stuff. That’s toxic dude.
Because even with legal agreements in place, you’re now gambling a huge amount of financial and emotional risk for a relationship in your early 20s. It’s not worth it. The house needs to be in your name only or not at all.
I think the best thing you could do is appreciate things for what they are. A long term relationship that has ended will give you insight on how to improve yourself and look for a partner that has the qualities that you value. It gives you experience and that is valuable for your next relationship and wisdom in general.
Nobody is responsible for your happiness or your own personal growth. Relationships give us an incredible insight on your flaws because of how our partner holds a realistic mirror to us and is around us constantly- my boyfriend has helped me grow a lot because he calls out a lot my own bullshit that I couldn’t see without an outside perspective
To me- it sounds like this is over and if it doesn’t end now you will have wished it did. I’m not saying it’s impossible to reconcile or to patch things up. I would never have the boyfriend I have now if I stayed with my first one which is wild because I love him so much. I just am saying that there’s good in goodbye (accidentally quoting that new T swift drop). There could be something so much better around the corner. Or you could just use several months apart and come back when it’s the right time.
I don’t know what you’ll decide to do but I wish you all the best. Breakups are so naked and is a major life event that people do not give adequate respect for that grieving process and stress level.
And also!!! Everybody should go to therapy because it makes you more emotionally intelligent. That’s all now… this was long. I’m only 23 but I feel like a grandma. Good luck!!!
lol. Jesus. Someone actually took the time to type this out. But why? What do you get out of it? You can't see karma. I don't get it.
Man advice here: let this slide.
1) If you call her on her lie she will get super mad and you have now made snooping phones fair game (worst case is she dumps you), 2) This is her family and you cannot fix this, the harder you try the worse it will be.
This ends in one of two ways. Your GF calms down and sees reason and you will both go to the wedding. Or you guys don't go, the rift widens and she becomes estranged from her brother and his new wife.
If you love your GF you need to support either decision she makes. I know not having harmony is uncomfortable but you need to realize that this isn't about you.
It was the balcony. I don't actually sit on the sofa and smoke literally inside the house.
This would be grounds for leaving,
Honestly I'd either ask him to leave or you leave.
He does know why he did it, he just ain't telling you,
Maybe he can't act a certain way with his ex when you are around.
I'd dig more and say him not knowing isn't good enough and it's making you have doubts about him and this relationship, so either he tells the truth or you will be going to stay with family.
He knows why he did it.
There nothing wrong with you honey and everything wrong with him
Your partner has been a shitty person for the entire time you dated. She's ONLY being “nice” now because she sees the gravy train (you pay 70% costs, you do more chores, you compromise) is ending.
Do yourself the biggest favor and make the “break” PERMANENT!
All the sex you could want, all the cooking, all the cleaning, her in therapy, blah, blah, blah. How long do you think she can (or will want to) sustain this? Answer: Only as long as it takes to convince you that she's “changed”. Then she'll slide back into her old shitty behavior once she thinks she's got you hooked again.
This woman will NOT be a good partner helping you with 50% of the load through life. She will not have long-term goals in line with yours. She is not the best “gift” you could give your future children as a mother. Dump her and see how much less stress there is in your life IMMEDIATELY!
OP literally said sex never crosses her mind. If that's the case, I don't think it's a stretch to say she has zero sexual desire for her partner. If you never think about sex you can't have sexual desire.
I get that but its also the circumstances of that it just happened and I didn't plan it yk. I get that now that difference definitely makes a difference in the relationship, but it was just all very hurtful
Gotta ask: are you uptight and can't get a joke?
Stop depending on him to get a house.
Can you not install a lock on the door? It’s not very hot to swap out a doorknob.
Lesbian speaking. I am 90% sure she’s into you. That said, you should move out before you make a move. Starting a relationship while living together can lead to potential drama down the line. Also it’s just too much intimacy too soon.
They are, I read all their comments; they say they understand why he might not be able to take off but at the same time they’re saying they’re jealous he took off during the slow season for his friend’s kid.. then they also say they don’t want him to take time off, Op just keep flip flopping and is getting mad they’re not hearing what they want to hear
My problem right now is that even if it’s just an emotional affair is that something I’ll want to take her back from? We were planning on trying to conceive our first very very soon. But I think my trust is gone. I can’t be with someone I trust. Neither of us are those crazy jealous people and I’ve never felt like this with her. So I genuinely just don’t think I have the courage to bring it up right now because my heart is heavy and it hurts.
Look, this is exactly what you think it is. If you are open to being the other woman, then make a move. Otherwise, let it go and find a new crush.
INFO: is this your first time traveling solo?
He says he trusts me but not other men.
Everyone who says this is generally insecure and secretly really doesn't trust you.
I think that at your age, solo traveling is fine. You even went above and beyond choosing an all-women hostel. The fact that he doesn't trust you is so mindboggling. Are you coming across that incompetent and unable to take care of yourself in his eyes or is he just insecure and afraid you're going to cheat on him?
Go travel alone. Let him complain and moan. Of course, update him with your itineraries and activity. Face time him as often as you'd like without impeding your travel. Of course, always be careful when traveling solo.
3 seems like the most likely reason. You could have a friend ask her for you if you can’t be direct. But I’d assume it’s 3 from what you’ve said. You joked about asking her out and she said, “you’re scaring me.” That’s a no, story OP.