Yeah my ex after like the first month, he completely changed from a sweet loving person to someone who was quite controlling and it messed me up alot to the point where I started becoming toxic. I do not want to repeat that cycle. I think I will block him. Thank youuu☺️
Get therapy for yourself and get all the resources he needs for when he’s ready. Don’t feed him him the stupid “it’s okay” bs, just be a safe presence that’s there for him. I’m so sorry you guys went through this, I truly hope he can heal quickly.
If it’s agreed on ahead of time, that’s not cheating. If they agreed to be exclusive….it’s cheating. Those men and your brother seem to not get the difference
Similar to my girl. It takes time. A proper relationship will mould both of you together.
She takes some of your quirks and you from her. Keep on doing you. Jokes aside, pun intended, focus on the love and care and other fun type while still making this kind of jokes. If its meant to be, both of you will melt together in the rs
That isn't an excuse for behaving like he does. I'm the first and only woman my husband was ever with. And he was so eager and willing to learn, he never was selfish in the bedroom.
So your partner either puts in some effort to make sex more enjoyable, or he might not be the one to stay with forever.
Yeah. You are to blame. He's talking to other women because he knows he can do whatever he wants and you'll stick around like a chump. He knows you'll never leave. Lol. You dumped a friend from your childhood because your boyfriend is a gardening tool but you won't leave your boyfriend. He's cheating because he knows he can. He's cheating because he knows no matter what he does you'll never have the self respect to leave him. There's no point giving advice because you know what you to. You just won't do it. I bet if you asked him to open the relationship he'd protest.
If you want to be in a relationship where you don't matter then yeah, stay with him. Shouldn't be very hot. You're used to it by now. If, on the other hand, you want to save whatever fragments of pride you have left then leave him.
I'm sorry but I ve seen dodgy behaviour from him. When we weren't dating, I saw him walking with her to the station from university. He saw me too and the next day he saw me but didn't say anything to me. Later on I found out that he acted like that because he didn't know how I would react seeing him with her
He is the kind of guy who used to sleep around with women. After we started dating, he stopped but his actions make me feel he wants her and maybe she doesn't but ues insisting by being too nice just to get out of the friendzone.
He is matching clothes with her, constantly going out with her, sharing all his problems with her and even took her to the picnic because he didn't want to get bored or left out since he's not very close friends with the other phd students. She is constantly there in his life which is frightening that some other woman has so much influence in his life.
If you don’t want to have a baby, you both need to be using birth control. Your girlfriend is either a fool, a gambler or she’s hoping to get pregnant. If you keep having sex with her using no birth control (and frankly, you’ve been a good to agree to her “natural method” ever), she is going to get pregnant.
The fact that she isn’t on birth control and fighting you on wearing condoms should be a glaring red flag.
I would sit down with him, confess your insecurities, and hammer out a specific plan, including financials and how he can pay you back. If he's comfortable with it, you might even look into writing up an actual contract. It sounds like that might go a long way toward making you feel more secure. From what you mentioned, he doesn't sound like an ungrateful mooch, so hopefully he'll be reasonable in finding a solution and plan that puts you both at ease.
It's about what she does with her crush. Telling you about it, is great first move. She should try to stay away from her crush, as much as it possible given the circumstances, and it should go away by itself, eventually
Retroactive jealously absolutely baffles me. What's the source of her anger? Is she mad at herself for not going out and having fun/getting laid, or is she mad at you because you did? Is she religious? How on Earth can a normal 31-year-old woman be a virgin, unless it's a conscious decision, and why would she blame that on you? The mental gymnastics are just too much.
I mean it all depends on your perspective. Dating pool isn't going to get any better, and without digging too very hot, how much is your value in the dating pool. You can have crazy standards and MAYBE find the man you want but realistically you're not going to find the prefect man.
Also you say ick but use the word for people you don't get along with. Not sure how many people are using it that way. Just because you don't vibe with someone doesn't make them ick. Imagine someone didn't like you and then referred to you that way to other people. But that's a whole other point, just comes of like you want to be seen as above these guys in the dating pool.
I’d suggest they in this case being married makes him more creepy. Not only is he hitting on a much younger woman who is obviously in a committed relationship, he’s also trying to cheat on his own SO.
Good for you! Also for future reference, ANY reason, really, ANY reason at all, is a valid reason to end a relationship. “This is not working for me, I can't tell why, but I don't feel as happy as I know I should” is a valid reason. “You are unhygienic” is a valid reason. “Lately all the shoes you buy are blue, I hate blue shoes and this made me unattracted to you so I'm ending it” is a valid reason. Really. Just ANY reason that would make you not want to continue a relationship or is a dealbreaker for you, is valid. It's true that being in a relationship requires work and ideally you have to talk about your issues unless something huge happens that would make you end it on the spot (like cheating) but if you lost attraction to a person you're not forced to continue the relationship because you don't have a huge, reasonable “reason”. Also, break ups are informative, the other partner doesn't need to agree.
No, it will for sure cause gossip if someone outside the family or party hosts a shower, even if it's just the parents/aunts/older adults.
Too funny lol
I agree. He told me early on that he didn't like giving oral but that he would if I wanted him to. I need to communicate these needs to him
Yeah my ex after like the first month, he completely changed from a sweet loving person to someone who was quite controlling and it messed me up alot to the point where I started becoming toxic. I do not want to repeat that cycle. I think I will block him. Thank youuu☺️
Get therapy for yourself and get all the resources he needs for when he’s ready. Don’t feed him him the stupid “it’s okay” bs, just be a safe presence that’s there for him. I’m so sorry you guys went through this, I truly hope he can heal quickly.
If it’s agreed on ahead of time, that’s not cheating. If they agreed to be exclusive….it’s cheating. Those men and your brother seem to not get the difference
Isn’t Bidenomics harming people of color? Didn’t Republican policies lift everyone up, including POC?
Sounds like you know what's going on and are just afraid to cut the cord, do it!
Similar to my girl. It takes time. A proper relationship will mould both of you together.
She takes some of your quirks and you from her. Keep on doing you. Jokes aside, pun intended, focus on the love and care and other fun type while still making this kind of jokes. If its meant to be, both of you will melt together in the rs
That isn't an excuse for behaving like he does. I'm the first and only woman my husband was ever with. And he was so eager and willing to learn, he never was selfish in the bedroom.
So your partner either puts in some effort to make sex more enjoyable, or he might not be the one to stay with forever.
How does a 24 year old afford a 3 bedroom house with a garden? For real…I don’t buy it.
??
Yeah. You are to blame. He's talking to other women because he knows he can do whatever he wants and you'll stick around like a chump. He knows you'll never leave. Lol. You dumped a friend from your childhood because your boyfriend is a gardening tool but you won't leave your boyfriend. He's cheating because he knows he can. He's cheating because he knows no matter what he does you'll never have the self respect to leave him. There's no point giving advice because you know what you to. You just won't do it. I bet if you asked him to open the relationship he'd protest.
If you want to be in a relationship where you don't matter then yeah, stay with him. Shouldn't be very hot. You're used to it by now. If, on the other hand, you want to save whatever fragments of pride you have left then leave him.
I'm sorry but I ve seen dodgy behaviour from him. When we weren't dating, I saw him walking with her to the station from university. He saw me too and the next day he saw me but didn't say anything to me. Later on I found out that he acted like that because he didn't know how I would react seeing him with her
He is the kind of guy who used to sleep around with women. After we started dating, he stopped but his actions make me feel he wants her and maybe she doesn't but ues insisting by being too nice just to get out of the friendzone.
He is matching clothes with her, constantly going out with her, sharing all his problems with her and even took her to the picnic because he didn't want to get bored or left out since he's not very close friends with the other phd students. She is constantly there in his life which is frightening that some other woman has so much influence in his life.
If you don’t want to have a baby, you both need to be using birth control. Your girlfriend is either a fool, a gambler or she’s hoping to get pregnant. If you keep having sex with her using no birth control (and frankly, you’ve been a good to agree to her “natural method” ever), she is going to get pregnant.
The fact that she isn’t on birth control and fighting you on wearing condoms should be a glaring red flag.
I would sit down with him, confess your insecurities, and hammer out a specific plan, including financials and how he can pay you back. If he's comfortable with it, you might even look into writing up an actual contract. It sounds like that might go a long way toward making you feel more secure. From what you mentioned, he doesn't sound like an ungrateful mooch, so hopefully he'll be reasonable in finding a solution and plan that puts you both at ease.
In itself, no.
It's about what she does with her crush. Telling you about it, is great first move. She should try to stay away from her crush, as much as it possible given the circumstances, and it should go away by itself, eventually
Retroactive jealously absolutely baffles me. What's the source of her anger? Is she mad at herself for not going out and having fun/getting laid, or is she mad at you because you did? Is she religious? How on Earth can a normal 31-year-old woman be a virgin, unless it's a conscious decision, and why would she blame that on you? The mental gymnastics are just too much.
I mean it all depends on your perspective. Dating pool isn't going to get any better, and without digging too very hot, how much is your value in the dating pool. You can have crazy standards and MAYBE find the man you want but realistically you're not going to find the prefect man.
Also you say ick but use the word for people you don't get along with. Not sure how many people are using it that way. Just because you don't vibe with someone doesn't make them ick. Imagine someone didn't like you and then referred to you that way to other people. But that's a whole other point, just comes of like you want to be seen as above these guys in the dating pool.
I’d suggest they in this case being married makes him more creepy. Not only is he hitting on a much younger woman who is obviously in a committed relationship, he’s also trying to cheat on his own SO.
Good for you! Also for future reference, ANY reason, really, ANY reason at all, is a valid reason to end a relationship. “This is not working for me, I can't tell why, but I don't feel as happy as I know I should” is a valid reason. “You are unhygienic” is a valid reason. “Lately all the shoes you buy are blue, I hate blue shoes and this made me unattracted to you so I'm ending it” is a valid reason. Really. Just ANY reason that would make you not want to continue a relationship or is a dealbreaker for you, is valid. It's true that being in a relationship requires work and ideally you have to talk about your issues unless something huge happens that would make you end it on the spot (like cheating) but if you lost attraction to a person you're not forced to continue the relationship because you don't have a huge, reasonable “reason”. Also, break ups are informative, the other partner doesn't need to agree.
OP, please give us an update, we want to know what happened