I am not sure why OP is treating her situation like it’s the 1950s and the answer to an unexpected pregnancy after a few months of dating is a hasty marriage and moving to the suburbs and doesn’t expect the typical 1950s response of isolation, depression, drifting apart, resentment, and him burying himself in his work.
OP, he did not want this child. He probably didn’t want to marry someone he barely knows. You can’t force a happy family out of this situation.
I'm a woman who's into girls, so can't relate. But if I were a guy and had a date who has such trust issues, I won't shame her for it. But would definitely advice her to seek therapy. You can't peacefully on-line with doubts like “what if my friend of 8 years suddenly baby-trap me” or “what if my friend of 8 years suddenly rape me”. It isn't healthy.
The next step completely depends on OP. If she's fine with a sexual partner with these insecurities, good for her. If she is hurt that her years-long friend has been thinking this low of her all along, even if it's just paranoia, that's understandable too. Then the healthy thing would be to break up.
You're not overreacting. He's intentionally messing with you because he can. He can't find anyone else to deal with him, so he targets people like you who won't leave or firmly push him back.
Dude's also weak as Hell. I promise — he'll NEVER be able to handle himself if you started doing the same shit he's been doing to you.
Definitely shouldn't be seeing this man anymore. Religion is almost never a good thing for the wellbeing of anyone who isn't a boy scout of a straight white man.
Hi man thank you for the advice, I do wanna get a few peoples opinions together and sort of go from there before I make such a massive decision although part of my mind is sort of leaning to agreeing with you. I obviously love her and my preference any day would be to fix things and keep going but I know I’m gonna have to have a conversation with her about what’s going on and where to go from there. Weather that turns into a break up or not it’s better to have closure, thats where my minds taking me.
Slightly off topic but a couple of months ago one of my best mates broke up with his girlfriend of a year and basically said they just “fell out of love” and they both stoped seeing a future with one another, at the time I just didn’t understand how that’s possible but I must admit I’m starting to see (if not from my perspective but from my girlfriends) how that can happen. Really really sad that that happens but it’s life ig, I know that he actually dealt with it really after a couple weeks and got himself back out there so a sort of happy ending I suppose.
These things need to be mutually consented too. If you can move on, move on. If you can't then don't.
He sounds tiring. You should be done with him.
I am not sure why OP is treating her situation like it’s the 1950s and the answer to an unexpected pregnancy after a few months of dating is a hasty marriage and moving to the suburbs and doesn’t expect the typical 1950s response of isolation, depression, drifting apart, resentment, and him burying himself in his work.
OP, he did not want this child. He probably didn’t want to marry someone he barely knows. You can’t force a happy family out of this situation.
I'm a woman who's into girls, so can't relate. But if I were a guy and had a date who has such trust issues, I won't shame her for it. But would definitely advice her to seek therapy. You can't peacefully on-line with doubts like “what if my friend of 8 years suddenly baby-trap me” or “what if my friend of 8 years suddenly rape me”. It isn't healthy.
The next step completely depends on OP. If she's fine with a sexual partner with these insecurities, good for her. If she is hurt that her years-long friend has been thinking this low of her all along, even if it's just paranoia, that's understandable too. Then the healthy thing would be to break up.
But the first step is communication.
No it is not normal. She is just cheating.
You're not overreacting. He's intentionally messing with you because he can. He can't find anyone else to deal with him, so he targets people like you who won't leave or firmly push him back.
Dude's also weak as Hell. I promise — he'll NEVER be able to handle himself if you started doing the same shit he's been doing to you.
Definitely shouldn't be seeing this man anymore. Religion is almost never a good thing for the wellbeing of anyone who isn't a boy scout of a straight white man.
Hi man thank you for the advice, I do wanna get a few peoples opinions together and sort of go from there before I make such a massive decision although part of my mind is sort of leaning to agreeing with you. I obviously love her and my preference any day would be to fix things and keep going but I know I’m gonna have to have a conversation with her about what’s going on and where to go from there. Weather that turns into a break up or not it’s better to have closure, thats where my minds taking me.
Slightly off topic but a couple of months ago one of my best mates broke up with his girlfriend of a year and basically said they just “fell out of love” and they both stoped seeing a future with one another, at the time I just didn’t understand how that’s possible but I must admit I’m starting to see (if not from my perspective but from my girlfriends) how that can happen. Really really sad that that happens but it’s life ig, I know that he actually dealt with it really after a couple weeks and got himself back out there so a sort of happy ending I suppose.
Anyways thanks for the response man
Look I'm a het dude and if my woman said what your gf said… I'd be instantly done.
Please have self respect and dump this woman asap. (Assuming you don't have some horrible family genetic legacy of course.)
I'd like to know what Ja Rule would say about this.
Go for it. Don’t listen to your friend.
NO!!! Family members DO NOT date family members SO’s!!!!!!