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The guy is being honest about how he's feeling, don't trash him for it.
It's one thing to be casual fwb and different to love them and develop jealousy or other emotions, he also talks about values, which you don't just know without dating for a while.
OP I'd suggest sit down and talk about the values being incompatible for a romantic relationship.
That's like 6 years tops. Maybe they stopped wanting to be fuck buddies, but if that's your definition of love, then you should probably get it checked.
When you have strong feelings it makes the fall that much harder. Getting cheated on sucks. You are only 7months in right now, better you find out now then years from now with mixed asserts or kids. Cheaters don’t change, they will tell you every which way that things will be different this time… but they never are. If you try to make things work you still forever be paranoid about this bloke and any other guy she starts talking to. You will be reduced to going through her phone all the time and eventually creating a toxic situation for both of you. It would be so much better to just pull the plug now, yes it is going to hurt in the meantime but your saving yourself so much grief in the future. Good luck OP, I wish you the best!
I thought it said my partner is a 11 year old kid
Shift her focus to the future. What type of future does she envision? Then break it down in steps. Excuses are just that. They can be worked around. If she gets a job, she can get her own insurance and pay for therapy for instance. If she is not willing to see reason tell her you can't see a future with a partner like her.
He sounds awful
Why do proposals need to be so involved? If you want to marry her, ask her. It doesn't need to be a surprise or anything fancy. It needs to be you telling her you love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her. You both sound very immature though, so maybe marriage isn't the best idea at this time since you both need to grow up a bit.
if you didn’t feel ready to propose after four years, maybe the relationship wasn’t right for you. pressure sucks, but that is more than enough time to know if you want to be with someone or not.
Why can’t OP confront them?! Why is it his responsibility?
I know it’s hard when you’re in it to feel like better is out there for you but I promise it is. Hell, being alone is better than being with someone this disrespectful.
She crosses too many boundaries, also no best friend would ever do this shit with her besties boyfriend. Y’all need to enforce a hard no contact with this non friend.
There's really only 1 thing you can do now. Start stealing everyone's food. Eventually after enough questioning you admit that your boyfriend doesn't allow you to eat at night because he wants you to be skinny for him. This will eventually lead to you having to fake your boyfriend's death which is a whole other bag of worms, but in the meantime you get free food so there's that.
Tell
The
Boyfriend
If you have the conversations which contradict what she is saying, then tell her you know what happened and that you’ll give her a week to tell the boyfriend the truth or you will, complete with screenshots.
Your advice is def what I needed to hear, maybe I’m just overthinking stuff since they’re active on other social media or video games we played together
I’ll def give it time and see what happens, if not I can move on
No, it wasn’t. Just like if someone were to remove their condom when using it is an explicit requirement while having sex with someone else.
Consent was contingent on that agreement, she violated, without his knowledge, and the consent was revoked the moment she did.
Yeah this is a situation in which one absolutely has to put whatever your personal heartache is aside to deal with the functional part of just packing her shit up and getting it out of your home. Or packing your own stuff up to split.
Honestly there have been so many clear-cut cases of right and wrong posted within the past 24 hours that read like suspicious bait for “what if the genders were reversed??” trolls which honestly kind of sucks but even if they're not 100% real, a lot of people are reading them for the first time and that's still helpful.
And so the same advice always applies – If you're leaving an abuser or manipulator, you prioritize your physical safety and well-being and you extricate yourself from the relationship as soon as you safely can. There's no perfect way to address the heartbreak that comes after, for some people it's finding others who have been through something similar, for other people it's going to be individual therapy, and others just moving on and processing in their own time.
Go over his head to HR
This is sexual assault. Your husband does not respect you. You deserve better.
NGL, can I like this 8 times, one for each point? And twice for ‘grown men don’t need their hands held through being told to not pressure their partner for sex.’
That’s pretty accurate, looks like I gotta tell her
No. It’s best to leave him be. He’ll come out when he’s ready.
Don’t keep bringing it up.
I have compromised already, but he seems unwilling to work with me.
Trust me I've ripped into it her about it many times over the years. It'll set her straight for a while but she quickly regresses.
You can be honest without being rude. Saying I am using someone for their money? If that’s what you truly believe then there is a kinder way to put that, which would actually have me listen to you.
Anyway, yes we have pets. He got a cat when we were dating, and a few months after I moved in we got a second cat together. He is good to them, but doesn’t set enough boundaries e.g., allowed them on tables and kitchen counters. Which I obviously don’t like. And is a bit lazy with them, wants them to be allowed outside so he doesn’t have to deal with litter. Again, I don’t like this. As parents, he would be the more nurturing parent and I would be the one stronger on guidelines. Anyway, it’s all a moot point now since I’m at my mums now and I don’t think he’s going to make enough changes for me to go back.
Very versatile- cook with it, fuck with it, it's the best!! Lol
When people say they need a break they basically want to cheat on you.
While true sometimes, sometimes asking for a break has nothing to do with wanting to cheat. I personally I asked my husband for a break once because he was smothering me and I needed to be alone, he wouldn't give it to me any other way. However, I didn't make rules and tell him not even to flirt or whatever else. I didn't cheat during the break (I also didn't justify me sleeping with anyone as NOT cheating xD), but he did. I forgave him for that though because I asked for a break and thats fair game, especially because our break was long.
We did end up getting back together, and the much needed break we had gave us time to chill out a bit and then be capable of having discussions without losing ourselves in our feelings. Plus, me leaving, staying loyal, and coming back taught him that he didn't need to smother me to keep me around. Now our relationship is healthier than ever.
Edit: just want to add that I definitely think OPs story includes a person who took a break just to cheat though.
OP's BF cheats on her using her own phone? End it.
That’s exactly what happened. These ppl don’t play around and I just hope OP doesn’t get caught in the crossfire