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Sometimes people prefer in person interaction rather than texting. Is being a bad texter a deal breaker to you?
He'll continue to do so if there aren't any consequences. I don't mean divorce or separation, but he needs to learn that you're serious.
Take your day off and go do something for yourself. Go see a movie, treat yourself to lunch, a manicure/ pedicure, something. Send him pictures of everything and don't be there when he gets home. He's taking for granted that you'll be waiting home for him to show up as if nothing happened because he always gets away with it.
Thankyou, and I agree there is so not so much you can do. And often I will come home with a bag of groceries and cook dinner for her and everything. Or even sometimes we will go grocery shopping together and then at the register I sneakily swipe my card, bc that’s the only thing I feel I can do to help her. And maybe it’s unreasonable of me to think I can do anything more but I feel like I have to do something when she’s struggling so much and I feel like I’m so privileged
He's 34, he's not going to change. Especially when he not only doesn't acknowledge the problem but gets angry when you bring it up.
For me it's not about the weight. It's that I don't want to be with someone who is heading for a heart attack in their 40s, and a wheelchair possibly sooner. I won't stick around and watch someone kill themselves slowly. Same as if they are an alcoholic that won't stop.
Act like nothings wrong for the four weeks. Give nothing away. Fly home. Never go back.
absolutely agree. Run like fuck.
Just got clarification purposes and not that it helps his case or matters at all but:
He went to tell her about his attraction to her in the way of he told me he wanted to fuck her and then went and told her he wanted to fuck her because he told me that's how he “gauges his attraction to someone”
Then he apparently didn't mean to tell her he had feelings for her that just “came out” because he had “one foot out the door and said fuck it” and then flirted with her saying “hey I mean you are into people like me I'm your type”
I just feel used.
Depends on if you use them every time and how often you masturbate, I guess.
Either you trust her or you don't.
I decided to message him and ask what he wants.
This was overstepping. Why would you think that was your place?
yeah it's already over you just don't know yet
As a patient, I would avoid you and your services like the plague.
Don’t mention it. Best of lucks
Cheating is a huge thing. Be the decent man you want to be and tell her. Tell her because she deserves to know. Tell her because you broke your commitment. Tell her because it’s the right thing to do.
Okay, she's into pet play. That's not weird. It's just a kink.
But, you don't need to partipate in it. Don't force yourself to just to please her. If it ends the relationship, let it. Kink requires consent and negotiation, I think it's a red flag that she bought things for the kink for you specifically without talking to you about it prior to the purchase, and it's another bad sign that she tries to “convince” you. No means no.
Since you want a compromise, would you be okay if she sought out pet play communities and partipated in it with someone else? That also doesn't necessarily mean she'd be having sex with the person, not all kink is about sex/orgasm, and lots of d/s or roleplay based kinks are usually more about the power dynamic and power transfer play than necessarily any sex that may come with it. (Which I know sounds weird to people not involved in kink or kink communities because usually the version yall have is 50 Shades lol. So I can explain that more if needed.) But if you do go that route, you'd need a very strong foundation to the relationship and open and honest communication
Learn about the different attachments styles:
Secure
Anxious
Avoidant
Disorganized
The book Attached may be helpful to both of you.
I have an anxious attachment style. It has helped me to be able to recognize that most people are just responding to stimulus based on their base instincts that are formed in early early childhood.
This has been extremely helpful to me in ALL of my relationships (personal and professional). Once you know your style and his and he also has this information seek out strategies that serve each other’s needs. Remember that just because your needs aren’t always met immediately doesn’t mean that they don’t matter or won’t ever be met. Learn to name your needs out loud WHEN YOU ARE NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ARGUMENT (this is key). Differences don’t always have to be addressed as conflicts. They can be addressed as discussion points. Of course this doesn’t mean that arguments won’t happen or shouldn’t happen, just remember that sometimes if you know something bothers you it is better to address it before you are triggered by a specific incident.
Best of luck.