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think we are elitist bitches even if we are just talking about a vacay.
It’s obviously a sore spot for his mom so just…tone it down.
thank you. 26F midwesterner here, and anytime my friends from my HS or family talk like that, i pretty much disengage since they make it topics of conversations. i can barely pay my bills atm, last thing i want to talk about how they can pay for theirs plus some.
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You guys aren’t compatible. She clearly wants to be this way. You clearly don’t want her too be. You’ll either break the boundary she has set up by bringing up up and she’ll resent you or leave, or you won’t and nothing will change and you’ll resent her or leave. Neither of you will end up happy if you both want different things.
Oof. Difficult. But I think it boils down to a couple of things:
Most important one: NEVER LET YOURSELF BE HELD HOSTAGE BY SOMEONE THREATENING SUICIDE. It's a disgusting form of emotional abuse to control someone. By what you describe you're basically roommates that fight and sort of have angry sex with each other that's not fulfilling for either party? Your partner is in the process of transitioning. People may disagree and call me un-inclusive or transphobic, but physical attraction is a very real part of attraction. If your partner transitions to another gender and bodyshape, that's a big part of the attraction gone. Throughout all of this it sounds like your partner has been pretty selfish. In a way it's understandable: its their body, they have final say. But they can't expect you to go along with everything or be supportive of everything. I feel that your request to freeze some of their sperm was a valid one. And I honestly don't know why that's not part of the standard package for a m-f transition. Especially if they're going to get bottom surgery. Combine all of the above and honestly, this relationship is dead and stinking.
Yes it sucks and yes sunk cost fallacy comes into play, but it's time to choose player number 1: yourself. You're not happy. Your partner is not happy. Choose happy. Break up and walk away.
You need to dump this guy. He’s manipulating you into feeling guilty about something you should NOT feel guilty about. He’s cheating with his co-worker and that was just a way of trying to get you to think nothings happening.
He will now use this repeatedly to guilt you, so he can freely cheat on her while you look after him.
You deserve better! This is bullshit! My ex husband pulled something similar with his co-worker and at their company dinner they walked out of the venue in front of me hand in hand.
Oh, but he never slept with her, cause she’s “fat”, so he definitely wasn’t atttacted to her.
He straight up sucked. I’m so much happier without him.
Leave girl!!!
Well..now why dont YOU break up with him..for good. Lucky you have good neighbours.
Op, talk to your lawyer about this, but you leaving the house might be harmful to your case. I know you don't want to be around him, but you need to fight for everything you are entitled to
El Salvador is a dangerous country to go back to, their new president is being vicious right now so your brother definitely hit a nerve with your boyfriend, I would tell your brother that he was lucky that it was your boyfriend that confronted him and not some random on the street who would have done more damage, not to say crying is a sign of weakness but at 22 sobbing because you were slapped by a 19 says a lot in my eyes
You need to actually communicate with her if you're setting these expectations for the end of the year. I would postpone the wedding either way. Even if she gets her act together by the end of the year, you should wait at least 6 months to see if it's a permanent change.
It sounds like depression could be a root cause here. I would add a psych evaluation to your list of expectations, even if it's just with her regular doctor. It doesn't need to be a psychiatrist.
As always, you're free to leave for any reason. You have listed some pretty good ones here. But if you want to save the relationship, your fiancée needs to know what's on your mind.
You've shown him that if he brings you flowers and chocolate you'll let him treat you like garbage.
Yeah that sounds about right. I’m gonna call him in a sec I hate this I fucked up so I gotta fix it
This guy is a predator and a liar. I wouldn't believe a word he's saying about his other girlfriend. I wouldn't even be surprised if there are a couple more you and her don't know about.
For all you know someone else found out about you and he gave them the same sob story about you and talked them into not telling you. So if you would have wanted to know then give the other GF you know about the same thing and tell her.
Most people have not been through what you have. Stop pushing your past experiences and your boundaries onto others. What works for you doesn’t work for most
He made me happy and has been there for me through thick and thin. He was my first everything and I love him so much that it hurts.
Just ask him directly. Say that you came across it accidentally and that it made you feel really shitty.