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May, 20 y.o.
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“To any women on here, would you be okay with becoming a free therapist for a guy that's avoiding therapy for some reason?”
That's what I'm reading.
Regardless of whether they're a dude or not, if someone is seeking out a relationship to “fix themselves”, it's a red flag. You explaining what you meant below doesn't make it any better either. Invest in a therapist instead of forcing your issues onto another person.
I mean that last statement is just not true. There’s definitely a difference. Not better or worse, necessarily, but you will probably be much more comfortable improvising if you’ve slept with 100 different people, and it’s also a wider sample size to get an idea of what people enjoy during sex in a very generalized sense.
You’re much more of a specialist than a general practitioner if you’ve been with just one person, but a lot.. and it can make it more difficult to deviate from your routine and take guidance if you’ve just always done it that one way. For shame focused people, constructive criticism can feel like an attack.. which, to be clear, is also a serious problem, OP. If he can’t remain teachable with you and refuses to adapt to meet you halfway on your needs, that’s not a viable situation long term.
Your gf likes you for you and your biceps are a part of you. I do the same to my bf but it’s biting on all of my favourite spots.
That they don't try to make me feel that way and because of there jobs ( prior military) “we can't wear our hearts on our sleeve”
So why are you even entertaining getting less pleasure, giving her less pleasure, and probably her having your future sons circumcised, If you have any, if you know what the risks are
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I’m beginning to relise my actions are reprehensible and I cannot act this way. I don’t feel I have a good understand of poor character without being severely punished. I don’t think I’m wrong without being punished like I was when I was a child. I appreciate the comments and feel need to reach out as my counsellor has done what he can to try and build me into someone more happy with who I am. It’s very difficult I hope you understand for me to be confused
Don't be very hot on yourself…things happen…maybe there's a reason why it happened…maybe you meet a nice girl.
People on this sub like to imagine clueless fathers and husbands (to be fair, there are a lot of them posting on here). So I'd recognize that bias and not let it bother you. There are a lot of posts on here that are either a woman wondering if she's crossed the line by wanting to be treated like a human, and a lot of posts by men wondering if they did the wrong thing when they watched their crying girlfriend crawl into the house after slipping. It skews the reaction to more typical posters' problems.
From your comments, it sounds like you're genuinely trying to help him learn, keeping the games fun, and you don't sound like a control freak.
I think you might need to start talking to other people in her life to see if they're noticing anything off with her, too. Because if we're going to rule out the idea that she's not comfortable telling you to back off the challenging play, then it seems like it's more likely to be either her wanting to be the “fun” parent when it comes to chess, or something is wrong with her.
she won’t even acknowledge how she acted
Unless she's willing to tell you why she was angry then you're at an impasse.
“who'd you'd leave with” sounds like a drunken response to insecurities. Did you separate for any period of time that she could be like “he's upstairs fucking someone”? Does she have a past of getting cheated on? Or any other insecurities?
And that's ignoring the fact that if this is involving alcohol and she's driving… but I won't comment on that part of the story.
You may be in the wrong for getting angry at baseless accusations – but not unreasonably so, from the sounds of it.
Sounds like somethings going on and if you two can't communicate about it? It's going to fester and spread like cancer. Might as well fight it out now to get it fixed now – or break up now and get it over with. If you can't get an honest answer about why she was mad? can't fix it if you don't know.
Thanks for the gold! Not really sure what the downvotes were about……
OP, your ex is 23 years old. You are 24.
This kind of thing is exactly what people are talking g about when they say that getting married so early is dangerous.
Not because she's the wrong person for you, but because this is a perfect example of how people mature. These are the mistakes we make, the stupid decisions, and then we learn regret.
People make mistakes like this. And even if you figure how to navigate relationships… One day you might have kids and you'll do stupid shit with them.
So my advice is to go back to your gf, and give her a second chance. Don't propose anytime soon. Put that away. Spend a few more years growing and maturing and figuring out what you really want.
Because yeah, being influenced by these fools is pretty shitty, but making that mistake and maturing because of it is human nature. You're never gonna meet a person who doesn't have a skeleton like this on their closet, so why not give her a second chance?
May need to start recording her tantrums because when you leave her and you should, you will need the evidence to show that she could be a threat to your son's safety.
Google borderline personality disorder and check the symptoms. Good luck OP
I had a threesome in the past go HORRIBLY wrong. It’s not like I’m ignorant to what you’re talking about. Communication is really the great equalizer in relationships. Say what you want, OP seems to at least err on the side of EXTRA communication ??♂️
That's a great suggestion, thank you. And absolutely, I'll tell him I'm not messing around either
Yeah this is the take I was coming to, luckily my girlfriend thinks they’re being ridiculous. I don’t plan on interacting with them.
Realistically, THEY would be ruining their relationship
1) yes it would change your friendship. Could wreck it. Could deepen it.
2) she’s going to date others anyway so it might as well be with someone who likes and cares about her enough to question whether jumping her bones is the right thing to do.
3) you might like it
4) original BF might never come back and you now you have a girlfriend who is also your best friend.
5) it might break your heart (but the same can be said about any relationship)
Your BF has the maturity level of a child. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that picture, and even if there was, why would you want to stay with a person who is ashamed of the way you look? Frankly, your BF doesn’t sound ready to be in an adult relationship with anybody.
You are fine. He’s the problem. Don’t let his insecurities become yours. I would suggest moving on.
Your boobs are fine, it's your boyfriend that's too small.
Say you really need her support on this and however she feels it would be lovely if she came with you and you both do it together and perhaps incorporate her calorie counting in some way. If she can’t do this then I would think how is she going to be going forward trying to grow and thrive as a couple. You’ve got this, this will enhance your life and health to the max, she doesn’t sound happy for you at all.
this is all about desire for control and insecurity on your bf's part. you can do better than him.
We're all attracted to our “type” and there's nothing wrong with that.
She’s the homeowner.
Tell her, find one of those “are you dating this guy?” groups on Facebook and post his picture, and block him on everything.
i don't want lose him.
No, because where would you ever be able to find another charmless asshole who fucks other women repeatedly and ignores you for weeks at a time? What a catch, right?
Big assumption that OPs wife wouldn't allow it, or he thinks they wouldn't allow it. I say just ask tho, if I want a week playing video games I do it and take a week off work, my partner is fine with it.
She's the type of girl who will run over his systems with her car when he's playing at the wrong time or not doing what she wants.