Yeah, just keep smiling, man. Respond little or not at all to their barbs. (“It's comfortable.” Shrug, “The dishwasher serves its purpose.”) Even the best in-laws are difficult to deal with at the best of times. They will not be here long and you won't have to grin and bear it forever.
Unlike most people who come from a wealthy background, you didn't become an adult with wild spending habits or an extreme miser. Your excellent money management does credit to you and your wife.
That's manipulative. You should be doing things for your partner because you enjoy it/both enjoy it, and not as a means to indirectly control their behaviour.
You staying is you accepting he'd harm you and your family for cheating but he'd hardly do a big evidence haul with that mentality anyway. You're at risk, OP. Please confide in some people who love you irl, even just to keep you safer if you decide to stay (please, please don't).
She is just abusive. Just because she may have an hormone imbalance or adhd doesn't give them a pass to abuse others. I know plenty of people with different mental illnesses and they are not that way, unless they specifically dislike someone or resent them so they mistreat that person in particular. And even if her hormones were somehow making her be that way, that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it.
She is just abusive. Just because she may have an hormone imbalance or adhd doesn't give them a pass to abuse others. I know plenty of people with different mental illnesses and they are not that way, unless they specifically dislike someone or resent them so they mistreat that person in particular. And even if her hormones were somehow making her be that way, that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it.
No. I'm not too fond of animals. My ex-friend took to her horse to see if it would help me, but I couldn't stand it due to sensory overload.
Unfortunately, again burnt bridges everywhere. My hobbies were dancing and going to the gym. Tho, my ex-friend's sister found out about my behaviour and requested I stop going to her dance studio.
Tossing up going to art classes or studying again. It's a naked path but it's a reality check I needed. Hence why I reach out to Reddit!
I already explained why she is a bad girlfriend. This shouldn't be tolerated at all. Raise your standards. Stop making excuses up for her. “Well, she probably hasn't thought of it”. If that's truly how your brain works, you need to check in with her to the therapists office.
Well either something happened and she's keeping in touch with her holiday fling or something didn't happen and he's either being inappropriate and she doesn't want to lose the “friendship” by letting you know as he lives in Jamaica so in her mind isn't a threat, or they both are and she doesn't want you to see that she's reciprocating
Your girlfriend sounds like a peace of work and your responses are mind boggling. Do you enjoy being with someone who publicly shames you instead of having a conversation about her wants and needs?
Thanks for this comment and breaking down everything that's wrong in OPs post. I instantly thought of the Missing Missing Reasons article as well but wouldn't have been able to make such an elaborate comment.
I always have handled everything, the kids are from my ex and I was doing 100% of everything back then. It's a nice relief now that my bf does a load of dishes or takes the trash out sometimes so I feel bad for complaining. He says he needs to help more but he has issues getting motivated.
The cuddles before sleep is all I want. I'm happy that you have found something that works for you. How did you reach that compromise?
I get men that message me live, work friends, people I've known a long time. I know the grass is greener and all that. But when they say they love cleaning and cuddling it makes me feel sad. They know I'm in a relationship and I tell them I'm not interested in them that way.
I think the last sentence answers your question. It sounds like he likes having you around to feel that role of girlfriend but doesn’t actually want a complete relationship. You can suggest counseling and see if you get positive feedback on that idea. I’ve been in your situation and it ended up we were not suitable for one another.
I’m in the same situation OP. Animal piss all over the place, overflowing litter boxes and filth. My MIL is incredibly laze and expects others to clean up after her. She even gets diarrhea smears on the toilet seat and doesn’t clean it. I can’t take it and it truly disgusts me.
I don't think I would mentally be okay with doing that line of work. I feel that I am one of the select few willing to take this on and deal with shit because I can be calm and think when things turn south or be there for my friends when it goes bad.
The balance is naked. I've struggled with meaning for a while after the military and this job fills a lot of voids, but it has also created new ones.
No it’s not normal it’s called cyber cheating – my x did it – leave now and save yourself the headache
love your name my partner always snorts my pits I secretly love it haha!
Yeah, just keep smiling, man. Respond little or not at all to their barbs. (“It's comfortable.” Shrug, “The dishwasher serves its purpose.”) Even the best in-laws are difficult to deal with at the best of times. They will not be here long and you won't have to grin and bear it forever.
Unlike most people who come from a wealthy background, you didn't become an adult with wild spending habits or an extreme miser. Your excellent money management does credit to you and your wife.
Peace; happy holidays.
Right, but I’m saying, it seems like if you didn’t know they weren’t related you’d be fine with the two months?
That's manipulative. You should be doing things for your partner because you enjoy it/both enjoy it, and not as a means to indirectly control their behaviour.
Oh hell no! There are so many red flags here. ???
Everybody and I mean everybody is on their BEST BEHAVIOUR when they 1st start dating.
You’ve been dating for only 4 weeks?
The age difference alone is a concern.
The fact that he’s trying to manipulate you to feel privileged because he’s only told 1 other person before you that he loves them? wtf?
This is seriously not the start of a healthy mature relationship. I would seriously be reconsidering noping out.
Straight up. I can’t imagine what other fights she picks
HERE WE GO.
You staying is you accepting he'd harm you and your family for cheating but he'd hardly do a big evidence haul with that mentality anyway. You're at risk, OP. Please confide in some people who love you irl, even just to keep you safer if you decide to stay (please, please don't).
I can relate 🙂
Can you go into detail?
She is just abusive. Just because she may have an hormone imbalance or adhd doesn't give them a pass to abuse others. I know plenty of people with different mental illnesses and they are not that way, unless they specifically dislike someone or resent them so they mistreat that person in particular. And even if her hormones were somehow making her be that way, that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it.
She is just abusive. Just because she may have an hormone imbalance or adhd doesn't give them a pass to abuse others. I know plenty of people with different mental illnesses and they are not that way, unless they specifically dislike someone or resent them so they mistreat that person in particular. And even if her hormones were somehow making her be that way, that doesn't mean you have to tolerate it.
No. I'm not too fond of animals. My ex-friend took to her horse to see if it would help me, but I couldn't stand it due to sensory overload.
Unfortunately, again burnt bridges everywhere. My hobbies were dancing and going to the gym. Tho, my ex-friend's sister found out about my behaviour and requested I stop going to her dance studio.
Tossing up going to art classes or studying again. It's a naked path but it's a reality check I needed. Hence why I reach out to Reddit!
I already explained why she is a bad girlfriend. This shouldn't be tolerated at all. Raise your standards. Stop making excuses up for her. “Well, she probably hasn't thought of it”. If that's truly how your brain works, you need to check in with her to the therapists office.
Well either something happened and she's keeping in touch with her holiday fling or something didn't happen and he's either being inappropriate and she doesn't want to lose the “friendship” by letting you know as he lives in Jamaica so in her mind isn't a threat, or they both are and she doesn't want you to see that she's reciprocating
Maybe im just more laid back then most people, and am more of the forgivinging person. But I understand why someone would be angry
I wouldn’t put yourself through this. I don’t see why you would subject yourself to a life of unrequited love
Your girlfriend sounds like a peace of work and your responses are mind boggling. Do you enjoy being with someone who publicly shames you instead of having a conversation about her wants and needs?
Thanks for this comment and breaking down everything that's wrong in OPs post. I instantly thought of the Missing Missing Reasons article as well but wouldn't have been able to make such an elaborate comment.
The first few months of a relationship are usually a honeymoon period, when your sweety can do no wrong. This is a field of red flags.
based on how he talked he seemed to have vendetta against “women” in general. Didn’t like my mom or sisters, or really any woman for no reason.
Please avoid any man in future with this mindset….
I always have handled everything, the kids are from my ex and I was doing 100% of everything back then. It's a nice relief now that my bf does a load of dishes or takes the trash out sometimes so I feel bad for complaining. He says he needs to help more but he has issues getting motivated.
The cuddles before sleep is all I want. I'm happy that you have found something that works for you. How did you reach that compromise?
I get men that message me live, work friends, people I've known a long time. I know the grass is greener and all that. But when they say they love cleaning and cuddling it makes me feel sad. They know I'm in a relationship and I tell them I'm not interested in them that way.
I think the last sentence answers your question. It sounds like he likes having you around to feel that role of girlfriend but doesn’t actually want a complete relationship. You can suggest counseling and see if you get positive feedback on that idea. I’ve been in your situation and it ended up we were not suitable for one another.
I’m in the same situation OP. Animal piss all over the place, overflowing litter boxes and filth. My MIL is incredibly laze and expects others to clean up after her. She even gets diarrhea smears on the toilet seat and doesn’t clean it. I can’t take it and it truly disgusts me.
I don't think I would mentally be okay with doing that line of work. I feel that I am one of the select few willing to take this on and deal with shit because I can be calm and think when things turn south or be there for my friends when it goes bad.
The balance is naked. I've struggled with meaning for a while after the military and this job fills a lot of voids, but it has also created new ones.
Run. This guy is so insecure and has power issues.
In my opinion, being friends isn't going to work. I think for your own good end the relationship and cut off completely.
Personally I wouldn't say anything. I'd just drop his phone in the toilet on my way out.
Why did he feel the need to vocalize it though ?
Porn induced erectile dysfunction is my assumption because there was no context.