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MelanieHillens Public Chat Channel
Probably an unpopular opinion but here we go.
Notwithstanding your other comments about her recent behaviour, I do think that it’s possible that she’s telling the truth and that they’re either from BIL or accidentally picked up from the laundromat.
But … I’d still be reconsidering the relationship and probably would end it. The reason is that she chose to go straight to the nuclear option of “It may not be something we can come back from.”
She may be totally loyal, but if she chooses to go from zero to I’m leaving, every time that we discuss something, I don’t need that sort of drama in my life. There are easier relationships.
I would’ve been tempted to say “you’re right, we can’t come back from this”, and leave.
Go and tell BIL that she thinks she accidentally picked up his underwear. If he acts weird or tells you it’s not his then you can ask her further questions. If she breaks up with you over this then, you’re probably better off.
PS. Have you dropped into her work on those nights that she is working longer hours? Confirm she’s where she says she is and is doing what she says she’s doing? Just a suggestion.
Yes. Someone had to be the adult in the room, and for the sake of the SIX children already there, it couldn’t wait any longer.
If you feel like you need to 'test' your partner, that means that you two desperately need to sit down and have a good and honest talk about your future together. You are adults, forget the phone apps and social media stuff and talk to each other. I know it sucks to be suspicious but whenever I hear someone say they put someone through a 'test' indicates to me that they don't know how to communicate.
Literally 0% this is real.
Adds the strangling comment in comments to get more drama.
Then adds he's autistic.
It's clearly fake.
Seems to me that your friend has a tough life.
He’s clearly not going to care to check her social media lol
I wish I knew, thank you!
Tell her this. And, maybe it'll be a wake up call. You said she's 35-36. Let's use 35. Time to run some numbers.
She leaves now at 35 and has a baby. How long does she think it'll take her to find a new guy that wants to date a single mom with a baby with the intention of marrying and children? It'll be quite a while. And, with working full-time and having a baby how much time will she really have to date?
How many years will she take off after breaking off a 10 year relationship? At least 2-3. So, now she's 38 with a young child when she's ready to try to date. It'll easily take 3+ years for her to find a suitable guy that is willing to date a 38 year old single mom with the intention of marriage and children.
So, she meets someone at 38 and they date for a year to get to know each other. They get engaged at 39. They have a 1 year engagement minimum. So, now she's 40 getting married. Therefore, she's 41-43 before her next child comes… if she can even get pregnant at that point. She'd likely need medical intervention like IVF.
And, nine of that is guaranteed. She probably won't find a guy at her age, with a kid, who wants to get married and have more children with her. Also, does she want two children with separate fathers? Doubtful.
I think you're her only game in town and she doesn't realize it. Yet, she's threatening to break up your daughter's family over this.
She needs a wake-up call.
That's unacceptable though. Stop making excuses. Imagine if it were flipped and someone hated you, but your fiancee insisted on keeping them actively invited to all of the events and the wedding. And that he was talking shit about you at every turn, actively trying to get you excluded from things, and following an event you hosted and paid for with an afterparty where you were excluded and where it is 100% guaranteed a bunch of people – YOUR GUESTS – either talked shit about you or heard a really terribly litany from him.
You would feel terrible.
Grow up and ditch these people.
Does it even matter that they do something or not? They were together in a motel room together. That's crazy in itself.
I see this as a red flag, but also, I'm pretty sure if my partner was legitimately yelling my name, by the second time I would have gotten up to go help. I don't know why he couldn't have just asked her to come there, even if he couldn't hear her answering back.
The real issue I see here is that, by the way this post is laid out, these two don't/can't talk to each other. There shouldn't need to be a mic drop and walk off moment in a decent discussion.
Because many commenters are going by this post alone and not doing a deep dive into OPs past. They are looking at it at face value.
He might be grieving but he's also a terrible partner (perpetually) also not everyone can afford a housekeeper maybe the reason why you can judge this woman comfortably is because you didn't have to deal with that but I can assure it's a heavy load on ANYONE let alone a full time working adult who has to clean for two people, I don't think anyone should be okay with someone else cleaning after them that's literally the bare minimum, she didn't ask him to do anything for her he only needs to carry his weight (which is again the bare minimum)
I am speed
Who’s covering for him