Thank you so much for your kindness. A lot of where we went wrong was losing our connection outside the bedroom and me hoping that would help us find our way back to each other.
The grass is not greener on the other side. If you’re happy with your current girlfriend then why would you risk everything for someone that is trying to be a homewrecker. Your coworker will just end up cheating on you sometime in the future. Appreciate what you have before you ruin everything over immature thoughts.
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If that is the case, then they are simply incompatible. If she is amiable to the idea it means she is at least open to all of them being friends or something close to it at least.
You're would be a real sucker for punishment if you choose to stay with her. Have some self-respect. Love is not enough in a relationship, and if you decide to stay with someone who has cheated on you twice for the sake of love, you would be incredibly foolish my dude.
Breathe It sounds like your being laid off and subsequent job search have put you in crisis mode. I’m not saying your bf is right, that’s not nearly the most important part of this.
I’m going to talk about mental health. I’m not gaslighting you or suggesting this is all about you. I’m just identifying some thought patterns I’ve experienced myself and how they made me view the world.
Have you been treated for anxiety? Losing your job is legitimately a traumatic event and the feelings you describe seem much more like PRSD than a relationship problem. I know this might sound incredibly patronizing but it really can help to talk to a general practitioner and get some Zoloft or something.
Back to the topic… is your boyfriend’s behavior different than before you were laid off? It doesn’t sound like it. Did his outlook on life bother you this much before you were laid off?
Try this, tell him, “I know that you’re trying to give me the support you think I need instead of the support you think I want, but for a little while at least, I need you to give me the support you think I want.”
>My dad has promised me that this doesn't change our relationship and he loves me more than anything.
I'm just glad to hear that.
I never understand those stories of men who love kids as their own, and then forgot all that love when they find out they biologically aren't. Although, given the way some parents treat their kids, maybe a kid being (or you think they are) your own doesn't mean real love, for some people.
The only advice I can give you is to remember that this isn't your fault, and it's not in your power to fix it. This is between your parents.
Yes, I'm certain they would force him to return it and they might even charge him. You can get the police to get a judge to issue a temporary restraining order fast as well. No way you should accept that situation…
I appreciate the reply but you have assumed quite a lot incorrectly here, but that's probably fair given how I didnt give every tiny detail as I didnt want the post to be ridiculously long. I'll attempt to clear up your points.
The comment I made was in regards to my partners past relationship. I'd barely recieved any communication from my partner for the previous week which was abnormal as we spoke every day usually, and whenever I tried confronting my partner on why we were barely talking I never got an answer (should also clarify we were in a semi distance relationship and usually saw each other for 10-12 days a month, and this occurred during our time apart). I got frustrated as the lack of communication had been jarring for quite a while, and in a moment of stupidity I said “do you actually want to be with me, or would you rather go back to your abusive ex who treated you like shit?”. I didnt mean what I said, I was in a full on rant at that point and lost my head which I've genuinely never done before. I apologised instantly and know it was wrong.
I did rethink quite a lot, and looking back that moment created quite a lot of insecurities for me going forward as I was of the belief that he should have been blocked and potentially reported to the police on the spot. The fact I had to demand it at all is something I've never really forgiven.
My partner had massive trauma issues from their childhood in regards to talking about their problems. It wasnt an issue they had specifically with me, but quite literally everyone. They were more open with me than anyone else but even still, they would hide a lot of their true feelings as it was a trauma response to avoid potential confrontation. It was not easy to deal with at times as I'm a very open communicator, but I tried dealing with it the best I could and understood when I should and shouldn't push an issue with them.
Looking back I worded this part poorly and understand your confusion. I knew they hadn't spoken to anybody else for 6 months, hence why I kept urging them to try and make friends and talk to people. The part I was unaware of the whole time was that the real reason they chose to do this was because they thought I wouldnt allow them to have friends, and that if they spoke to someone else then I'd interfere and make them block them. That's what my partner believed the but never once communicated to me until after the breakup, so I was completely unaware of it the whole time. TL;DR – I knew they hadnt been speaking to people, I didnt know it was because of incorrect assumptions made about me.
Not exactly sure how I've blamed anything on anyone else. Fair enough you only know the relationship from this post alone but I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to read the mind of my partner and know what's going on inside their head unless they tell me? It's not like I didnt ask, I would ask regularly if they were okay or if anything was bothering them as they seemed off, but they never chose to tell me the truth. I cant bleed them dry of answers, i tried every day to try and help them with their issues, but I cant help fix something if I dont even know what the issues are.
He wants to work around the house and does good at his job as far as I am aware. We split our rent utilities and groceries down the middle and he is my transportation atm while I get my license. His issue is that he is easily distracted and reactive and a lot of that is because of his mental issues.
Start asking for proof of his income by looking at his pay stubs and W2's before you move in together with him. It is the only way to find the final truth about his income regardless what his moms or others say. If he says no, than you got your answer and throw the lying sack of crap to the curve.
I'm not reacting to anything she does, but those kind of games are getting boring ig. I am continuing my life without her but I don't want this kind of crap.
I (24M) am in a relationship for more than an year with my GF (24F), and for the past few months I kept a secret folder with pictures of people I know (friends, random internet ppl and my own GF). Some of those pictures I ran into those “AI” services to create nudes that I used to masturbate. At the time, I thought this was harmless since I wasn't talking to anyone, seeing anyone, kissing or having sex and didn't have any desire to do so. The people involved I have very little to no contact. To me it was just some kinky stuff that I did that had no connection to reality whatsoever.
I don't think you're stupid. You seem to have set up rules, and whether just because he didn't think it was a big deal or whatever he ignored them.
That's almost 30 texts a day for nearly a year, which is worrying. There's nobody on earth I'd text that much.
I don't know the way forward for you, but I hope it goes well.
Thank you so much for your kindness. A lot of where we went wrong was losing our connection outside the bedroom and me hoping that would help us find our way back to each other.
Sounds like projection to me
The grass is not greener on the other side. If you’re happy with your current girlfriend then why would you risk everything for someone that is trying to be a homewrecker. Your coworker will just end up cheating on you sometime in the future. Appreciate what you have before you ruin everything over immature thoughts.
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If that is the case, then they are simply incompatible. If she is amiable to the idea it means she is at least open to all of them being friends or something close to it at least.
You're would be a real sucker for punishment if you choose to stay with her. Have some self-respect. Love is not enough in a relationship, and if you decide to stay with someone who has cheated on you twice for the sake of love, you would be incredibly foolish my dude.
I am not a costumer anymore
Breathe It sounds like your being laid off and subsequent job search have put you in crisis mode. I’m not saying your bf is right, that’s not nearly the most important part of this.
I’m going to talk about mental health. I’m not gaslighting you or suggesting this is all about you. I’m just identifying some thought patterns I’ve experienced myself and how they made me view the world.
Have you been treated for anxiety? Losing your job is legitimately a traumatic event and the feelings you describe seem much more like PRSD than a relationship problem. I know this might sound incredibly patronizing but it really can help to talk to a general practitioner and get some Zoloft or something.
Back to the topic… is your boyfriend’s behavior different than before you were laid off? It doesn’t sound like it. Did his outlook on life bother you this much before you were laid off?
Try this, tell him, “I know that you’re trying to give me the support you think I need instead of the support you think I want, but for a little while at least, I need you to give me the support you think I want.”
He needs to make sure you continue looking like a very young girl. No point in dating a woman ten years younger if she can pass as an adult.
>My dad has promised me that this doesn't change our relationship and he loves me more than anything.
I'm just glad to hear that.
I never understand those stories of men who love kids as their own, and then forgot all that love when they find out they biologically aren't. Although, given the way some parents treat their kids, maybe a kid being (or you think they are) your own doesn't mean real love, for some people.
The only advice I can give you is to remember that this isn't your fault, and it's not in your power to fix it. This is between your parents.
Yes, I'm certain they would force him to return it and they might even charge him. You can get the police to get a judge to issue a temporary restraining order fast as well. No way you should accept that situation…
Your car? Call the cops, get it back.
Dump her.
I appreciate the reply but you have assumed quite a lot incorrectly here, but that's probably fair given how I didnt give every tiny detail as I didnt want the post to be ridiculously long. I'll attempt to clear up your points.
The comment I made was in regards to my partners past relationship. I'd barely recieved any communication from my partner for the previous week which was abnormal as we spoke every day usually, and whenever I tried confronting my partner on why we were barely talking I never got an answer (should also clarify we were in a semi distance relationship and usually saw each other for 10-12 days a month, and this occurred during our time apart). I got frustrated as the lack of communication had been jarring for quite a while, and in a moment of stupidity I said “do you actually want to be with me, or would you rather go back to your abusive ex who treated you like shit?”. I didnt mean what I said, I was in a full on rant at that point and lost my head which I've genuinely never done before. I apologised instantly and know it was wrong.
I did rethink quite a lot, and looking back that moment created quite a lot of insecurities for me going forward as I was of the belief that he should have been blocked and potentially reported to the police on the spot. The fact I had to demand it at all is something I've never really forgiven.
My partner had massive trauma issues from their childhood in regards to talking about their problems. It wasnt an issue they had specifically with me, but quite literally everyone. They were more open with me than anyone else but even still, they would hide a lot of their true feelings as it was a trauma response to avoid potential confrontation. It was not easy to deal with at times as I'm a very open communicator, but I tried dealing with it the best I could and understood when I should and shouldn't push an issue with them.
Looking back I worded this part poorly and understand your confusion. I knew they hadn't spoken to anybody else for 6 months, hence why I kept urging them to try and make friends and talk to people. The part I was unaware of the whole time was that the real reason they chose to do this was because they thought I wouldnt allow them to have friends, and that if they spoke to someone else then I'd interfere and make them block them. That's what my partner believed the but never once communicated to me until after the breakup, so I was completely unaware of it the whole time. TL;DR – I knew they hadnt been speaking to people, I didnt know it was because of incorrect assumptions made about me.
Not exactly sure how I've blamed anything on anyone else. Fair enough you only know the relationship from this post alone but I'm really not sure how I'm supposed to read the mind of my partner and know what's going on inside their head unless they tell me? It's not like I didnt ask, I would ask regularly if they were okay or if anything was bothering them as they seemed off, but they never chose to tell me the truth. I cant bleed them dry of answers, i tried every day to try and help them with their issues, but I cant help fix something if I dont even know what the issues are.
He wants to work around the house and does good at his job as far as I am aware. We split our rent utilities and groceries down the middle and he is my transportation atm while I get my license. His issue is that he is easily distracted and reactive and a lot of that is because of his mental issues.
Lol I just know that’s the genshin guy
Start asking for proof of his income by looking at his pay stubs and W2's before you move in together with him. It is the only way to find the final truth about his income regardless what his moms or others say. If he says no, than you got your answer and throw the lying sack of crap to the curve.
I'm not reacting to anything she does, but those kind of games are getting boring ig. I am continuing my life without her but I don't want this kind of crap.
I (24M) am in a relationship for more than an year with my GF (24F), and for the past few months I kept a secret folder with pictures of people I know (friends, random internet ppl and my own GF). Some of those pictures I ran into those “AI” services to create nudes that I used to masturbate. At the time, I thought this was harmless since I wasn't talking to anyone, seeing anyone, kissing or having sex and didn't have any desire to do so. The people involved I have very little to no contact. To me it was just some kinky stuff that I did that had no connection to reality whatsoever.
Say there is situation : she s looking average but she asks u how she looks . What is ur response?
Don't be a dishonest sleazeball.