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Melissa & Melany, 18 y.o.
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A) It's very early days so way too soon to be thinking these things and B) Does it matter? If that's all you have to worry about I think you're good.
Have a serious talk with her about where your relationship is and where you see it going. It seems like a lot of these issues are in your head, and it’s totally ok if that’s how you feel, but you also say how much you love her and she’s there for you. If you talk it out you can find out if these are really issues or not. I’m sure she’s jealous of friends that are girls who get to see you more than her, but maybe there are ways you can show and reassure her that you do have zero romantic feelings towards them? The Christmas thing is tough either way if you want to go through with the break up. It may add another level of emotion before, plus she’s super excited because you get to be together. If you wait till after but have your mind set it will definitely impact that time together, and it isn’t doing anyone any favours. Have a talk and see where you’re both at in the relationship.
Given you see your b/f in the best light it sounds like he is a bit of an arsehole. Arrogant and challenging (is that disagreeing strongly with) your parents? I don't know that I'd like him either.
Sounds like you're trapped between a rock and a hard place. There is not simple solution. How about you minimise the amount of exposure your family has to him and work towards moving out? You say they have you finacially cornered? You're 23yo, don't you have a job?
This is actually very simple. A loving and trustworthy partner does not hide things and lie. Your GF has lied to you by omission about what she did. They were not something she forgot to tell you, she lied about the actions she took. She was trying to hide and cover up something she knew you wouldn’t like.
There was no innocent reason to lie about what she was doing.
Just know, She's not yours, it was just your turn with her and unless you're into sharing your girl, it's time to go.
Congrats! And I love how you refer to him as “my man”….
A man being struck FOR comedic effect, seen by viewer and conveyed by writing as comedic vs… a woman being abused sexually and physically and need saving. What a comparison you made.
Men do get abused, but that isn't abuse. It's not conveyed as abuse. In media, you take what they convey. Not go on a tangent like you did.
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How old are the kids?
Especially if it's something he doesn't want because he's perfectly fine without being married. I wouldn't wanna pay for a party where everything is for her and that dress gets worn once and the risk of her being a bridezilla. Her family hates him based on looks and the fact that he's not paying a cent is an affront to their sensibilities. He needs to find something better.
Yes, tell your brother especially as he apparently understands what sexual assault is and does not downplay it.
I don’t know, I’m assuming 17+, hopefully 18 because this whole situation goes from fucking awful to catastrophic for all parties involved. Like I said, I didn’t ask a lot of questions. I don’t even know if it happened while we were together – 21+
I was just focused on trying to be a good partner at the time and consoling my crying wife.
How does your sister makes such bad choices? Is she mentally impaired at all? Is she still with that same guy?
In one hand, you have a tattoo designed to cover up self harm scars. In the other hand, you have a boyfriend who wants to tell you what to do.
One of these things is going to have a positive impact, the other will only have a negative one.
Do you want your daughter to witness your arguments, distrust for one another, and learn to handle her problems like this?
Because you two are her role models for a good relationship and how to resolve conflict. If all you can do is pick each other apart, what benefit is that for her. If you’re separated, is either of you going to be worth looking up to?
Have you even attempted to work together as parents or are you just pointing at each other’s flaws.
If the blog is public. Send a screen shot to the police. They are trained to provide the help he needs. And they won't identify you.
We do physically hit our prime in our early twenties—men and women. This is to say that if we were physically training for something, such as basketball or track or ballet, our bodies would have the most potential at that age because we slowly (very slowly for a long time—there’s little difference between a 23yo and a 29yo in “prime” shape) decline as we age after a certain point.
That has absolutely nothing to do with attractiveness. Some of us fill in after our prime; some of us eat better and our skin and bodies become healthier; some of us develop grace with our adult bodies that we lacked as gangly teens.
Beauty is entirely up to the observer. I’m in my forties now, and as I’ve aged, so has the age and physical makeup of what I find attractive in a man. Most people (not all, but most) age in this way. I’m certainly not lusting after men in their early twenties lol, and I think my husband, who is in his late thirties, is the sexiest man I know.
Your boyfriend is equating prime physical “peak” to prime attractiveness. They aren’t at all the same thing.
Maybe in a few years? It's likely to trigger painful memories for both.
Voodoo?
How can I handle my step-dad?
There are two things you should do that will be of immediate consequence for you.
The first one is to look up the term “Grey Rock”, have a read about what it entails and what it is designed to do, and then whenever you have to deal with your step-father, put it into effect. The T:D:DR version is that Grey Rock (or Gray Rock) is designed to help you deal with people like your Step-father. It puts you in a position where you negate anything he says or does by refusing to play “his game”.
It'll take some time and some practice but you can do it.
The second thing is to go low contact with your family, and no contact with him. Removing yourself from his presence is a great way to negate his attitude to you. If that means not seeing the rest of your family as often as you would like, well it's a small price to pay for your own peace of mind.
At this point he's shown you who he really is. Believe him.
No, I'm just a very emotional person and I cry easily. I think it's healthy to feel guilt over accidentally upsetting someone instead of defensiveness, and guilt is an uncomfortable feeling that can cause tears for some people.
Sounds like your husband is abusive when he’s sober just like when he was drunk.
You should ditch the dud.
Some of the worst Reddit advice I’ve seen today
You've wasted so much time with this pig. Put yourself first please. Do a favour to yourself, and fuck this guy off.
Yeah i completely agree that’s why i told him about what i’m uncomfortable knowing and what i want to know etc. So that he knows not to accidentally hurt me. Yeah that’s also reason to why i don’t want an exclusive relationship, no matter the nature of the situation you can’t possess the other person, you can’t stop them from finding someone else, that’s part of the game. I’d rather be in a situation where i completely accept that possibility and also allow myself to have the option to fall in love w someone else by seeing other people rather than give my all and get nothing in return. I feel like me having multiple “lovers” helps me to not project too much onto one particular lover. It helps me stay balanced in my relationships.
I think accusing him of “manipulating the situation” is a bit harsh. It sounds like he’s just trying to explain his POV.
However, that woman is being RIDICULOUSLY inappropriate. If he won’t say something to her, can you talk to her privately about it? It seems like she’s clearly trying to interest your bf.
Damn, amazing how some of you will take a post about a man being abusive to a woman and somehow manage to spin it into the woman being the problem. Y'all need to do better.
So what you’re suggesting is that it’s in everyone else’s hands, and therefore I should just step away with no questions asked because it’s the respectful thing to do?
Why do you care so much about what a bunch of internet strangers think? Why did you need to defend yourself so badly? Is it because you know you’re in the wrong?
I think you're justified, but also you have to acknowledge this you definitely could see this coming.
You know she's a cheater, as are you. Therefore, it's reasonable to assume that if she'll cheat on her ex, then there's a real possibility she'll cheat on you too. You either accept that cheating will always be a serious risk and accept that, or break up.
u/TikTokTodd I can’t reply to your comment as it’s invisible to me for some reason, but: We have both gotten so busy with being parents and forging careers that our interests have sadly been on pause for a couple of years. She’s a good glassblower. She’s into art. She works from home so anything that could enhance that experience for her. She likes cooking / fine cookware. She’s a bit of a sneaker head. Camping, being outside, traveling; but, unfortunately, young kids kind of make traveling dicey because expensive trips can easily be thwarted by whiny attitudes.
But the problem is that I am too scared to have a relationship with her because I treasure what we have between us.
This is a stupid thought. If you do not get into a relationship, your friendship will die anyway. Feelings get in your way, and they will continue to do so. If you do start a relationship, and it fails, you, and her may be able to get over each other, but leaving it as it is a slow death to your friendship.
There is literally nothing to lose, that you won't lose if you do not give it a shot.
Did you mean you were emotionally cheating on her? Since you said you stopped it before sex.
the avatar of the other account to the post they linked to is male with a beard