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Model from: us
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1987-10-15
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
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I am not inciting an argument nor I am in support of the guy above but genuinely curious as you say you are a lawyer. What if both people are drunk then what does the law state?
If you've only been talking for a mere five months and he's in prison (where he can't even do any real world damage) this just isn't the thing for you. Even if he were out in the world doing the normal things that break people up, all of this after not even half a year is a clear sign that you and he just aren't compatible. Tell him to not bother “thinking”, you've decided this is untenable and you're going to end it. Good luck.
When you’ve been abused and no longer have your abuser, you have to fill that role so you either abuse yourself or make someone else the abuser. But OP I don’t think you’re abusive. I think she needs professional help and other people in her life. And also this sounds extremely exhausting. And you don’t HAVE to do this.
That's not a red flag that's a red ocean! Girl! Get outta there! I know that's easier said than done but you do NOT want the kind of hurt that is coming your way if you stay
Hearts break. It happens. You get better. Throwing away something good because it might end in tears down the line is just being too much of a coward to pursue what will make you happy.
Sorry but this story lacks a lot of details. The major ones being:
Why does your husband have such strong plans for christmas? It sounds a lot like it was clear that YOU won't be home for christmas for a long time and YOU are the one who changed her plans last minute. Why is it so naked for you to participate in the plans your husband and his family obviously had for a long time? Again it sounds like YOU are the one expecting that everyone else abandons their long standing plans because you are suddenly available. You say that you are usualy with YOUR family at christmas but suddenly you are not and now expect that everyone changes their plans accordingly.
Bottonline: It sounds a lot like your husband is actually right: You are the problem. Yes he is your husband and usualy I would say that he should be happy to spend christmas with you but all in all it sounds like that you are usualy not around for christmas and abandoning him or at least are comfortable that he makes plans with his family because you have plans with yours but now your plans have suddenly changed and you expect everyone else to jump through a hoop to accomodate you.
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I don't know who told you that you have to cater to your boyfriend's fetishes at the expense of your wants or mental health, but they lied to you.
There is no compromise: if you don't like or don't feel comfortable or simply don't want to participate in his fetish, say no. That he already made you an uninformed (and therefore unconsenting) participant in the fetish is gross.
Tell her its not about it being gross, its about it being disrespectful. Unsuspecting people (yes, even her partner) should not have to be exposed to her bowel movements and blood when they're just trying to go to the toilet. Its unhygienic first of all, and most people don't even want to look at their own shit, let alone someone else's. Its a very very basic mark of respect for others using the bathroom to flush after you're done. Especially in someone else's home. Ask her why she wants everyone to see her poop so badly.
I (a woman) most definitely look for the ability to cook and clean in my partner, cos I'm not doing all that shit by myself.
What in the actual fuck, prese charges? Lesson here folks, dont stick your dick in crazy. You might get yourself one of these.
I appreciate this. I might be hyper-sensitive to the situation and really appreciate the outlook that others have.
Raising 2 kids with a 3rd on the way.
Not always. Sometimes a booty call is just that; casual sex without needing to former some deep trust bond. I’ve had partners I’d feel comfortable having over for sex but not to freely roam my place at 3am while I’m asleep.
I would agree at this point in my life I would not put out without a guarantee of a trust bond, but I can’t say I was so careful in my 20s.
You do not need to be around to watch this guy self destruct. He is 100% taking advantage of you and you’re too love-strict to see it. Please, he alone is costing you your home. He was dishonest about paying his part of the rent. You are enabling him to sit at home drinking YOUR booze, on your couch, in your home. He is a leech. Get rid of him.
Straight on the nose.
And Rocky- style with it!
The audacity!
OP, you said he did the therapy session right outside the room you were napping. So is it possible that he WANTED you to hear the session, so he could GUILT you into keeping the pregnancy?
He knew you were there. Had to know you could wake up at any time, especially talking right outside the door. Just too coincidental to me.
While you appreciate you taking his feelings into consideration, he may be a good guy or he can bale on you at a moments’ notice. What you have to decide is what YOU want your life to be right here, right now.
Do you really need an answer?
You’re doing all you can. The only other thing you can do is refuse to go to her house. “I wish I could, but I’m allergic to your MLM scents, as you know. Spending time at your place makes me sick, and I’m out.”
It’s one thing to parent a baby. Parenting a toddler is a whole different ball game and the lovely clean house and naked dinners you are so fond of now will likely be a distant dream from 15 months until three years.
It might well turn out to be (in a very short space of time) that work is the break she gets… and enough to pay for a cleaner and a takeaway a couple of times a week.
Some are. I wasn't referring to them.
This breaks my heart. That poor kid. OP… what’s wrong with you???
I never said she can't, I said she won't change.
I don’t know how I feel about this. OP never indicated that she was doing these surgeries to make anyone else feel like she was beautiful. People CAN have plastic surgery for themselves. Not to impress someone else.
Plastic surgery is risky. And it should be thought through. Seeing a therapist beforehand is a great idea.
But I don’t like making a decision that goes against what you really want just because your partner disagrees with it. Some things are fine to compromise on. If this is one of those things…. Then great.
But if I REALLY wanted to have some kind of plastic surgery….. I would talk to my partner about it. But the final decision would be mine. It doesn’t sound like the final decision here was really OPs.
You find someone who thinks you are the complete package.
She may tell you that she's getting to settle for you, but the script is flipped here.
Don't be with someone who doesn't know or respect your worth.
Not sure if you’re chiming in in support of my comment or telling me what I already know but yeah I agree
I didn’t say we would order every night we never eat out, maybe a pizza lol, and I was just saying bc I know he is looking forward to staying in a hotel and getting out of town regardless of working during the day, he’s excited about it.. Like I said I know this is work not a vacation. I just know I would want him to come with me & feel like it’s kind of weird but wasn’t sure. I haven’t harped on him at all. I’ve been totally cool about it. This is just an internal battle cuz I do wanna give him his space and stuff & will either way , I just wanted other opinions cuz part of me does think he’s being a dick but other part knows I just have separation issues & need to get over it lol.