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Perhaps mental hospital is not the right term, but she absolutely needs to be somewhere with professionals who can help her if she is at any risk. OP and her husband cannot have her crash at their place at sister’s convenience, nor are they able to check on sister and ensure her safety at every second of the day.
If Sister is in a position where she could be in danger, she needs to be in a place where she is guaranteed to be able to get help. OP’s home, where her and her husband are not always going to be, is not a place where she can be helped 100% of the time.
On top of that, OP’s marriage is being negatively impacted by this. So to summarise, Sister crashing at OP’s is damaging to all 3 parties and does not provide an adequate solution, sister needs to go somewhere that can help her properly, OP needs to protect her marriage.
Wait, did you think their dad was your dad or how come you switched between households but never knew? I am just confused, I am sorry.
Honestly, I see a lot of pain in all of you. You all have a shitty cheating mom, she is to blame. To your siblings you were the proof that your mom cheated. How much older are they? It’s weird to me that they knew all along but you didn’t.
This is one of the many reasons I encourage you to go to therapy. Avoidance is only going to make things worse. Staying with him is only going to make things harder. Having someone to help you navigate this and give you support will help lessen that anxiety and teach you that you have the strength to face these issues, but you need to take steps to do this. The only person whose actions you can control are your own. If you want things to change, then you need to start changing.
I imagine having a step dad only 11 years older than you is a bit odd…
Girl…holy shit. This guy wanted to rape you, if you marry him and he thinks he's got you trapped, I bet he'll try living out his fantasies. Omg please run, this is really scary and he is unhinged.
He won't change whilst you put up with it. If you really can't bring yourself to leave you need to open the relationship and date other men.
The fact that you thought you needed to apologize in this situation says a lot. Seems like he's already gotten in your head and manipulated you enough times that you feel the need to apologize even when you do absolutely NOTHING wrong. Then him acting the one who was truly wronged… um yeah f that shit. Red flags hunny. Run before he completely makes you lose respect for yourself.
Screw that. I would be so done.
Yeah, I’m kind of thinking the same thing.
Because I still have feelings for her. I still love her and wish things are different.
Stop letting her make YOUR decisions. Why is the status of your relationship up to her? Pack her stuff and put it outside. Change the locks. Whatever it takes.
Hahahaha yeah don’t think we would of made it past the talking stage if that was true
So he just sabotaged the dream because his cheater friend said that you MUST be cheating, and he even sucks at that because he got caught, or you wouldn't be bettering yourself the way you were…
Ain't no coming back from hearing his real thoughts unless you have some insight into believing that those weren't his actual musings but something implanted by his cheating friend… who ironically couldn't even do THAT right but feels confident enough to be your husband's go-to expert on the subject.
I was 27 two decades ago. It feels a lot longer than it actually was, but do you really want to spend that kind of time trying to deprogram someone who has plateaued so early in every aspect of their being. If he hadn't said anything, you'd be perfectly happy going about the same routine in wonderfully ignorant bliss. You can't unhear or uninternalize that conversation, so that ball is fully in your court. I can tell you this, he's not going to stop thinking the way he does.
My first thought too
This shows and utter lack of care on his part. You were in the hospital. The fucking hospital and he decides to fuck off and party? He didn’t even visit you! He didn’t even let you know where he’d be if you needed him. This isn’t just poor communication, it’s him actively not communicating. Is this the only time he’s put his wants before your needs?